Thursday, April 19, 2007

Just What You've Always Wanted: Hardcore Denver Bronco Pornography



We're taking a break from the "kill kill kill" tag this week. As a palate cleanser, I'm going in the opposite direction and providing you with one of the most beautiful sights in all of nature: Two horses screwing. The male horse's name? Lexington Steele. (NOTE: This video is NSFW, and in fact it is probably worse for your boss to catch you watching this than watching actual porn.)

What I like about gonzo animal sex videos is that there are no games. The male animal jumps on top of the female he likes. If she ain't feeling it, she just runs away. I wish human sexual courtship were more like this. It would save us countless $100 dinner tabs and endless cases of blueballs. I even started a movement to do just this sort of thing in college, usually around 3:00 AM on a Saturday night. No one ever got on board. Tightassses. 'Tis a pity. I think I was really onto something.

32 comments:

lieutenant winslow said...

sadly... my sexual encounters tend to more closely resemble this

lieutenant winslow said...

i hate the fucking ebay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YRlBArwapg

Weed Against Speed said...

Drew, you were either onto something or you were on something.

Perhaps both.

My Insignificant Life said...

Man on man, I'm at a loss for a comment - except Lexington Steele dribbled at the end. Shoot, I watched this a little to closely....

My Insignificant Life said...

I think I'm going blind....

throwbot said...

Thanks for this, I found it inspirational. No matter how shitty my job is, no matter how bad my life gets; I'll never be the guy whose job it is to hold a female horse while she gets fucked. That's called looking on the bright side.

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Weed Against Speed said...

chris, Lt. Winslow beat you to it.

Chris said...

WAS I will go crawl back into my he-man pajamas now. Thanks surprised I missed that.

Ed in Westchester said...

I liked the "good boy" at the end. Nothing like propping up the old ego.
Affirmed.

BeaverFever said...

nice way to start a thursday. way classier than dog on dog love, but i'm sure some here would disagree.

also, in regards to football this could be interpreted as colts vs. broncos.

Redhead said...

Not sure what possessed me to watch that at my desk, but now I'm happy to say my boss caught me watching horse porn on my computer screen. This should end well for me today.

Redhead said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DrDoom said...

no in poor taste? tag

i much prefer the kill kill kill tags.

Burnsy said...

Just like how mommy and daddy Burnsy made me.

Mountain_Man said...

I wonder what the Sex Cannon would do to that horsey...

DrDoom said...

@beaverfeaver

actually in football terms that is refered to as brett farve and the media.

BeaverFever said...

@drdoom

good point. i never looked at it that way.

also redhead, tell your boss to lighten up. that video was all natural. where does he/she think baby horses come from ? now if the horse had a gag ball in it's mouth it would have been weird.

Vanilla said...

@ beaverfever: LMAO! re Colts V Broncos.

Not even a courtesy reach around?

My Insignificant Life said...

I wonder if Peyton & Kenny watch films like this?

The Pirate Sloth said...

Just be happy you aren't the guy who has to hold up her tail so that ol' Glue Factory can drive it home.

Signal to Noise said...

May the horse be with you.

If anyone else watched Planet Earth, then you all noticed the frog gang rape attempts last week, when the female frog has to run the gauntlet to the preferred mate, so to speak.

the occasional joo said...

That is simply beautiful. I am completely overrun with emotion. My eyes are actually tearing. Oh to be young and in love again...

Captain Caveman said...

I had no idea sex could last so long.

josh said...

I think playing that on the ol' work computer nearly got me fired. It's hard to explain that watching horse sex isn't watching porn. Per se.

Vanilla said...

That horse is almost as big as I am, only not as fast.

Oh, come on... someone had to step up to the false internet bravado plate and say it.

sledgod said...

Marv Albert learns from only the best.

denvergodfather said...

vw: eaacdbi
that's what she said. She being the philly in that wonderful video.

denvergodfather said...

also, in regards to football this could be interpreted as colts vs. broncos.

Ouch Beaver

yesiamahooker said...

@denver

that interpretation could work if it as a horses version of nambla.

colts are young male horses. broncos are wild, untamed horses. who is doing who?

JAMMQ said...

The eagerly mounting on top of the female, the trouble finding the hole, the quiff, and then the tiredly sliding off once it's over . . . this horse stole my moves!

Wormfather said...

@lieutenant winslow

That was the sickest thing ever, loved it, esspecially with the first comment that followed being...

"Judas Priest.. I haven't laughed that hard or that long since some fat kid shit on the teacher's desk during a summer school class of mine"