Your Official MNF Recap Turned Live Blog Bukkake...start reading as soon as the Pac-Man noises stop

I have no idea about the origins of this photo, I stumbled across it in a random image search regarding Rex Grossman. Well call me crazy but that looks like Rex and those other people look like Gators. Oh yeah, and those balloons look like they're filled with nitrous...Rock on Sexy Rexy!
SHHH! SHHHHH! The camera can hear my brain!

Rex Grossman gets as much pub for playing shitty than Tom Brady gets for winning Super Bowls, and I think it's faaaaantastic.

Muhsin Muhammad just gave Rex a friendly slap on the helmet, the refs immediately called a personal foul for roughing the quarterback and catching Dwyane Wade on the elbow.

Robbie Gould lines up for the kick, the Ladies Man tells us he's only missed one field goal this year. Wide right, nice work pimp.

Thees is the Rex Grossman of the announcing booth...except he's a schmuck.

In HD Marc Bulger is brooding...and kind of shiny.

Richie Incognito...so mysterious...so delicious.

The Rams just ran a reverse against the best defense in football. I think Mike Martz might have tapped into the headsets in St. Louis.

Thees couldn't help poking the tips of the World Series trophy, he's like a curious five year-old...except he's still a schmuck.

Stephen Davis is alive? What the fuck are you waiting for Michael Westbrook?

Touchdown Torry Holt. Ensuing kickoff, touchdown Devin Hester. My fantasy team is building a head of steam for the playoffs and Brad Melshenker is going to die like a whimpering little bitch.

Touchdown Stephen Jackson. After multiple long drives the Rams are starting to look dynamic, combine this with the fact that it was 64 degrees outside today and I'm pretty sure it's September.

For DC Area readers: Everybody hates Tammy Darvish as much as me, right?

If Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson don't combine for 40 rushes then Ron Turner should be forced to watch game tape of his Illinois teams while Norv sits on his lap masturbating. (12 at the half...way to go Ron)

touchdown bears...Jim Belushi's leaving!!!

ALLEN IVERSON'S LOCKER HAS BEEN CLEANED OUT! Eminem's closet is flithy.

Tirico brings up Wilkins' fantastic accuracy over the years. Wide right. You're the man, hot stuff.

Uh-oh...it's Berman time. I'll be back with further updates later in the evening.

and we're back...I'm love-blogging this bitch because there's nothing on tv.

Tony just said that this was a good game because columnists couldn't start writing yet ... wrong on both of those Satchmo.

You know it's a classic when the commentators are getting giddy over a potential Devin Hester fair catch. Wow, the ball's down inside the five. Shocking.

Mark it down: 10:30 pm est. I'm cracking open the German gin.

I think the little girl in the Samsung/Texas Instruments/Best Buy commercial just fucked that elephant. Holy shit! That German gin just puts words in your mouth. Death to the Jews. Okay, that could have been either of us.

I just realized I'd been nursing the same Lowenbrau all evening. Ever since I saw Dirk last week I've been acting...different.

Touchdown Thomas Jones! 3 touchdowns for my fantasy team thus far...not that you care, I'm just bragging. With that in mind, I'm quite sure I could handle the Chicago's play calling duties...again, just bragging.

Ricky Manning Jr. just got in a nice shot on Torry Holt, who of course wears glasses...fuckin' nerd.

Of course Thees likes Ron Turner...shitheads.

Touchdown! Grossman to Muhs (I wonder why that never took off). Obviously that was not a Ron Turner call...had to be a Sexy Rexy audible. MVP chants can be hears as far as Lake Forest.

Michelle Tafoya says that Rex Grossman is turning into a sexy diamond. I think she's dropping hints to Mr. Vandersall. Somebody better get his ass to Jared's.

Anytime the booth has thirty seconds of time to kill with on the spot banter just start cringing early to save yourself the trouble later. Yes Tony and Joe, saying "Jacked Up" is a lot of fun. Unless your name is Jack...and you got jacked...smoking a jack (long story).

Rex is just chucking it up there now, the pass interference is as good as a touchdown. St. Louis has a really shitty defense. There are way too many bad players in the NFL.

Suzy Kolber just said that Leonard Little "took a blow to the throat." If I ever stop laughing just fucking shoot me. Aside from the delicious sexual barb delivered by lovely inspiration I truly enjoy watching drunken vehicular manslaughterers (look it up) get everything they deserve.

Ricky Manning with another big hit. Apparently Stephen Jackson was talking about Battlestar Gallactaca, so why isn't he ever therewhen Easterbrook is around?

Touchdown Torry Holt! Despite the drops he comes through. Now is he the Torry Holt we all used to know Mr. Thees?

That's it! I've had enough of Bulger's garbage-time stat-padding and Olive Garden commercials for one night. I'm going to watch Colbert and get some sleep.

***The Bears won...as if you care