Monday, December 4, 2006

Getting Vicktimized By the Master

You'll know you've been Vicktimized if you see
these guys crawling all over your precious sack


Yesterday I had the distinct displeasure of sitting through Washington's Shitapalooza. After a dominating first quarter (it's a start!) the Redskins succumbed to Mike Vick (that just sounds dirty) and ended up getting their asses kicked hard. Of course after the game they realized they were wearing "Kick Me Hard" signs on their collective back, it did seem as if they were being kicked especially hard.

Needless to say I began losing interest in all of the men running around on the field, instead I focused on the brilliance of the Atlanta fan sitting in front of me. After Deadspin featured the Mike Vick "HERPES" jersey we now have the Mike Vick "VICKTIMIZER" jersey. Of course I spent the next two hours reeling off all of Vick's potential victims.

Who needs "mega" pixels anyways?

Thanks to OutSports we know all the naughty words that we can't see on the back of an Atlanta jersey (I'm not sure how that guy gut away with the Herpes jersey...probably custom). Hold on! I can put "SHULER" on the back of a jersey but not "BACKDOOR MAN"...what a fucking country.

So what would you put on the back of your official NFL jersey? Don't limit yourself to Ron Mexico, there's a whole league full of people ripe for mockery.

Here's a suggestion to get you started: Washington Redskins #7 "SNAP"

37 comments:

Smello said...

Chicago Bears #18 "J. DANIELS"

Big Jim Slade said...

My buddy has a Steelers "Van Halen" #84 jersey. No lie.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Bengals, #20 TO LIFE

Matt said...

NY Giants #56: "Crack"

MemphisRaines said...

Cowboys, #88, Powder

epsknows said...

#81 Cowboys either "Attempted" or "Drops"

#10 NY Giants "Short Bus"

Grimey said...

#25 Houston Texans "BUSH"

mistermeastyspleen said...

First of all, I would like to thank you for directing me to a gay website. Now I will think of a way to explain that to IT. Oh yeah, as far as a jersey, how about Panthers #17, ISUCK.

Unsilent Majority said...

i like that

Larry Bird Flu said...

Redskins #44: "Sandybaby"

Koos said...

Special QB Edition
-----
#2 Bucs: "SPLEEN"
#12 Pats: "GOAT"
#10 NYG: "POUTY"
#18 Colts: "CHOKES"
#7 Stillers: "RIGHT 2x A DAY"
#4 Packers: "ENOUGH ALREADY"
#18 Bears: "NECKBEARD"


That's all I got for now...

Larry Bird Flu said...

Also...

Throwback Panthers #83: "Trunk Juice"

highonLowe said...

Redskins #29 - "Rumph?"

Chargers #17 - "Thank you LT"

highonLowe said...

Giants #10 "Last Name Redacted"

Jerry MaDick said...

Throwback Packers #44: ClosetDeuce
Steelers #44: DormDumper

goto11 said...

I like the fact that among all the nasty, vile things on this list is the name "Rae Carruth". Yet "O.J. Simpson" is still allowed.

Ravens #52: "I Get Stabby"

Unsilent Majority said...

My NYG #92 "CUMDUMPSTER" will never be.

doug_plank said...

Bears #8
"TOsInAGame"

Canadian Bobsled Champ said...

Redskins #40 "Refund"

gymclassheroes said...

Matt Millen #55 jersey w/a nameplate of "DickwithEars"

The Chosen Rob said...

Browns #80: POW

Cardinals #7: LACHEY

highonLowe said...

Saints #25 "37th best ROY"
Cowboys #13 "Vandercut"

8hrdrive said...

Chiefs #27 "White People Suck"

Lou Pickney said...

Steelers #44 "The Dump Truck"

Laser Rocket Arm said...

Eagles #7 "I Bang T.O."
Cowboys #81 "Rat"
Ravens #31 "Mule"

cecil_espy said...

Toronto Argonauts #20 "Four"

Head Chick In Charge said...

Oakland #18 "Paxil"

pradajames said...

rams throwback #11 "chrissy"

batboyone said...

carolina #17 "Bojangles"

Signal to Noise said...

Indy #18 - Cro-Mag #1
NYG #10 - Cro-Mag #2
NYG #80 - White Trash
Den #16 or Indy #44 - Porn-Star in Training
Minn #21 - Captain
SD #21 - Jesus
ARZ #7 - Babydaddy

Signal to Noise said...

Shit, how could I forget...

ARZ #32 - Dulled
CIN #15 - Boot 'N Rally

J.L. White said...

Ooh, here's a new one, & maybe you can sneak it in befor ethe NFL Big Wigs put the kibosh on it:

CIN #85: Saint Thief

Unsilent Majority said...

prada and cecil get my imaginary votes.

SteveJeltzFan said...

Redskins #72: Gzzytsx

Unsilent Majority said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...i will never stop laughing.

Peralta said...

Miami #34 "Stoned"

sorry.

Craig said...

#9 Cowboys - MOX
#8 Seahawks - L. Harbor