Thursday, December 21, 2006

Bizzaro World's Measty Picks for the Year

Big Daddy Drew and I are very different people; he's funny and I'm mean, he's a father and I hate children, he's a bad Christian and I'm a bad Jew, he has sex with red-assed baboons and I prefer the company of...well we're pretty much the same in that regard. But mostly we differ in terms of our choices in entertainment (the exceptions of course being football and Estonian snuff films).

Earlier today Drew posted this week's honorary Meast along with his "best of" picks for the year. Once again his overwhelming whiteness confused and frightened me and apparently I'm not the only one. An intrepid commenter suggested that I offer up my more soulful selections (by "soulful"I obviously mean "druish") so here we go...

Favorite Movie- Truthfully I don't go out to the movies much anymore. All other people are annoying and they always laugh at shit that isn't funny. Needless to say, I hate all other people. The other problem I have with the movie theater Gestapo is their whole "no bong" policy. It's bad enough that I can't light up a Parliament halfway through, but denying me the right to see a movie with an appropriate mental glaze is unconscionable. So there were only three movies I recall seeing that were worthy of my attention. While Borat and Talladega Nights were both funnier than watching a bear turn into a eunuch (synergism) I thought that Little Miss Sunshine was the best.

Favorite Album- Even though my boys Talib and Kanye didn't put out new albums this year we were awash in greatness. There shouldn't even be any debate by now, St. Elsewhere made everything else sound like a newborn being shoved into the garbage disposal...too harsh? Yeah, there were some other great ones, notably Lupe Fiasco's debut Food and Liquor is the best debut album since College Dropout (sorry Jeezy). Honorary mention goes out to last month's Hell Hath No Fury, the latest offering from The Clipse. Also Ghostface Killah's Fishscale is the best thing to happen to Wu Tang since ODB shuffled off the mortal coil.

Favorite Song- Damn there are a lot of great songs. When it comes to football games nothing can beat DJ Unk's Walk it Out...but of course this has nothing to do with football. My two favorite songs off of my two favorite albums were The Boogie Monster and Daydreamin' respectively. But the one song that I'll always remember from this year was The Clipse's Wamp Wamp. Unfortunately the reason I'll never forget it is because my buddy would never shut the fuck up about it, going so far as to label all the bad/wet weed in the city as "the wamp wamp."

Favorite Book- That's another tough one, lots of good choices. My favorite piece of fiction from the past year was Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian. I'm not one of those guys that reads a lot of books by women but oddly enough this one wasn't about ovulation and needlepoint. The best non-fiction had to be Michael Lewis' The Blind Side. Not only was it both well written and about football, but now I have a reason to watch Ole Miss (aside from my crippling gambling problem).

So there you have it, the best of '06 from both Drew and myself. Obviously mine is better.

Oh and just so this has something to do with football, here's my Meastiest Hit Of the Year: 2006. The guy in the video is playing against Lower Marion High School; up until now they were best known for producing Kobe Bryant. Now they'll be forever known as the school to produce the guy who could eat the Mamba...I think he's my new hero.

41 comments:

TheBigO said...

Best albums this year;

Woodwork - Da Backwudz

&

Eat or Die - Ras Kass

that Lupe Fiasco album is hot too.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Once again his overwhelming whiteness confused and frightened me

Said the white man.

Unsilent Majority said...

I'm not white, I'm jewish.

Byrd said...

I didn't know this about you, unsilent majority, but you have terrible taste in movies and rap music.

Palm Dry Gum On said...

Might as well laugh now. That kid probably stands to inherit a lot of money from his parents in the future (damn Main Line trust fund kids!).

Cato June wishes he could tackle like that.

"Hot" Carl Monday said...

That is one fat kid.

Oh, and Charlie Wilson's War is really good.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Lupe Fiasco sucks. The Roots "Game Theory' was far superior to anything else in hip-hop. However, the best album of 2006 was TOOL's 10,000 Days. Hands down.

No smart-ass jokes. Just wanted to put that out there.

Big Daddy Drew said...

I'm not white, I'm jewish.

You're half-Jewish. The other half of you is whiter than the top of Everest.

Larry Bird Flu said...

The third part of the Chicago hip-hop trifecta, Rhymefest, had a pretty nice record too. I like Lupe better, but 'fest is a better freestyler.

diesel said...

I'm going to have to disagree w/ BDD and you, UM. On behalf of fat, well hung, suburban white armchair jocks everywhere, I hereby nominate the following:

Best Movie: Tombstone. Yes, I know it was released last decade. I don't care. Until Tombstone claims its rightful spot as the best movie of all time, I'll continue to nominate it. Don't like it? I'm your huckleberry, fag.

Favorite Album: Playing With Fire, K-Fed. Not really, I've never even heard it. But a white dude that can bust up a pussy like the one Brit-Brit recently flashed the world deserves a solid from the Diesel. I've never personally stuck a M80 in a roast beef sandwich, but I think that's pretty much what it would look like. Besides, Carson Palmer said he digs it, and nobody screams hardcore street ghetto cred like Carson Palmer.

Best Song: Let's Go (Get Wasted) by Supagroup.Kick ass band from New Orleans. "To wake and bake but I never went to sleep, cause I'm passed out under the toilet seat". That, my friends, is fucking art.

Best Book: You read books? Fucking power bottom twink.

TheBigO said...

Best thing from Tombstone (great flick) was one of the Tombstones in the cemetary read; Here lies Lester Nor 4 slugs from a 44 no les no more.

Unsilent Majority said...

and it's a real tombstone.

byrd- thanks for sharing

The Angry Rant said...

These two posts are ridiculous.

Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.

Kokaholik said...

This list is like Jeff Garcia in a toga, except whiter and gayer.
Little Miss Sunshine?

Unsilent Majority said...

i've been called gay by a guy named "kokaholik"

hmmm

twoeightnine said...

What let you know that the guy in the video was from Lower Merion? Was it the part when it said: 11/03/06 Last Home Game For Springfield Cougar's Carlos Fitzpatrick #73 OL-DL?

twoeightnine said...

And my vote for single of the year is Fitzpatrick / Los Dollaz's freestyle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54f1pJpEMxo

The Pirate Sloth said...

I bet that fat kid has some mad skills on the dance floor.

Eric Stratton said...

As with all things Clipse related, I just assumed "Wamp Wamp" was a reference to cocaine. Urban dictionary agrees http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wamp+wamp (although I'm not sure when and how it became the be all and end all on these type of things.) Anyway, UM, your buddy might want to be apprised of this so when procuring he isn't hit with a (possibly welcome?) surprise.

Unsilent Majority said...

oh he knows what it means, he just likes to assign his own meanings to words...he's an odd one.

Meast...Rumph...

Unsilent Majority said...

289- obviously i'm an idiot. the video is called Lower Merion Hit. I guess he's playing against them. I've edited the post. thank you for your diligence.

swing4 said...

Lower Merion was my rival high school. Our annual football matchup was coined the "Mercedes Bowl" by the locals, because of all the luxury cars in the parking lot. Horrible football games -- must have been too plebian, because the good athletes played lacrosse or soccer.

Signal to Noise said...

album winners:

1) St. Elsewhere
2) TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain (so it's hipster, fuck off)
3) Fishscale
4) The Arctic Monkeys
5) Danko Jones - Sleep is the Enemy

I haven't heard the Clipse disc in full yet.

Unsilent Majority said...

everybody's sleepin' on lupe.

wflcannon said...

Fuck hip-hop; worthless.

Signal to Noise said...

UM - same as the Clipse; I haven't heard Food and Liquor in full. I love "Kick Push" and I bet it has a good chance at my top 5 if I get to sit down with it.

Hip-hop worthless, cannon?

Come on.

LButler36 said...

love of rap music + jewfro makes unsilent less white than drew

Dickens Cider said...

Rap is to music as stick figures are to Art.

Unsilent Majority said...

Who is this guy Art? He must be cool.

Christmas Ape said...

UM's song of the year is "Don't Call Me White" by NOFX.

wellhungjew said...

I don't listen to albums that much anymore thanks to Itunes and A.D.D., but the one I did listen to was St. Elsewhere. Those guys are the Beck of hip hop.

a.c. said...

New Clipse album is lukewarm. Too much drum machine, lyrics too simplistic ("puppets on a string like a yo-yo, bouncing' like a pogo, they prayin' I never go solo" sounds like the new Ma$e), they clown on people's "basic rhyme pattern" and struggle to change their flow up (track #2 is a joke, tupac is rolling over in his grave)... I dunno. I'm unimpressed. Fishscale, Food & Liquor, Rhymefest... yeah, those are hot.

fallex said...

I've never personally stuck a M80 in a roast beef sandwich, but I think that's pretty much what it would look like.

Nearly fucking wet my keyboard with that one. Nice.

Shirvin said...

Unsilent, you need Drew to give you a big assed kick in the nuts for your taste in music. Have you never read Drew's post "Pre game playlist fit for a F#cking badass"? It's why i come to this site. Notice that each song features a loud guitar and real drums and makes you want to run through a brick wall.

So what the heck is this with all this hip hop/rap music? The best record of this year is far and away The Adversary from Ihsahn. If Scandinavian prog/black metal is not your thing then pick something else that doesn't suck. You are Druish just like me...therefore you cannot "feel" gansta rap, or any other form of music featuring some dude talking about how big his dick is over a drum machine and some gay keyboard line. Do not think you can. It is helpless.

Unsilent Majority said...

you are right shirvin, there's only one true form of music, everything else is worthless and evil.
ROCK ON!

DBDR said...

Not feeling the Clipse. Mediocre crack raps get old after a few tracks. I think the best albums of the year (not comprehensive since I'm not close to my PC with all my music):

The Roots-Game Theory, just when I completely wrote them off, they pulled me back in with a very solid album.

Jay-Z-Kingdom Come, people are hating for the sake of hating, but it has at least 5 or 6 really good songs and 2 or 3 good songs, that makes it a good album in my book.

Ghost-Fishscale, it is what it is. Not the best album ever, but pretty good.

Joy Denalane--I think I butchered the spelling, but her album is pretty nice too.

Snoop-See The Roots comment.

Other than that it has been a collection of good songs for me, Andre's verse on the Walk it Out remix is amazing. The Lupe album is boring (and that was before I heard him say that he never listened to Midnight Marauders). And I don't have enough straps on my backpack to like Rhymefest, Jurassic 5 and all that other hippie-hop that is out there.

BTW, biggest disappointment in 2006, was Nas's album. That album is the epitome of "crotchety ass old man" rap. I listen to it and picture him telling kids to "get off his damn yard" with a rolled up newspaper.

And any movie list that does not begin and end with The Departed is fraudulent.

Unsilent Majority said...

Nas' album was a complete debacle. Andre's Walk it Out remix is fucking great, I'm with you on those two points. However I didn't see the Departed, long movies go straight to DVD for me.

Shirvin said...

Clearly I have come across as a rabid beast. Excellent.

diesel said...

I asked the black guy I know about these groups, and he's never heard of them. He's pretty dark, too.

still drunk said...

No kudos for Grimm's triple disc? American Hunger was ill.

carlos73 said...

yo why the fuck do yall have my video on your website? thats gay yall can say what yall like it doesnt matter 2 me its just a bunck of fuckin words...