We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Bukkake Joke for an Important Self-Promotional Message

Friends, drunkards, delightfully trashy female readers:

As KSK's resident self-promotional whore, I would be remiss to not mention that, against all odds and someone's good judgment, Kissing Suzy Kolber has been nominated for Best Sports Blog in the 2006 Weblog Awards.

Obviously, the most important thing to do now is discredit the award as being inherently meaningless for its methodology (Internet poll in which you can vote once a day) and for its return (there is no cash reward, no trophy, not even an awards ceremony where we can get drunk).

On the other hand, it would be cool to win. Not because we want to win, of course -- it doesn't matter to our disaffected, sardonic souls -- but because it would expose the fraudulent voting system: you see, we have no business winning Best Sports Blog. We do, however, rock harder than all the rest combined. A look at the competition (number of votes at 11 a.m. Eastern in parentheses), whom I have rudely failed to link because I'm lazy and hung over...

Ben Maller (12)
On the payroll for FOXsports.com, Ben Maller collects sports rumors and interesting tidbits from the beat reports of newspapers around the country. Hey, cutting and pasting is hard!

TrueHoop (8)
The depth of Henry Abbott's b-ball knowledge is amazing, and his dedication to being at the leading edge of all pertinent discussions about the NBA is nonpareil. He's the godfather of the NBA blogosphere. He's more dedicated than everyone at KSK combined.

But lemme ask you this: when was the last time he made a dick joke? That's what I thought.

Deadspin (86)
Never heard of it.

Mister Irrelevant (11)
Jamie Mottram is a true mensch and quite possibly the epicenter of blogger legitimacy. But you don't want to vote for AOL, do you? That's like cheering for U.S. Steel.

The Blue-Gray Sky (4)
Unlike Deadspin, I had ACTUALLY never heard of this, so I googled it. The top of the page has the blog's title; the subheader reads "a Notre Dame scrapbook."

F-minus.

Blogcritics Sports (37)
Our esteemed commenter "Suss~~" is actually the editor of Blogcritics Sports. If you're not aware of Blogcritics, here's what it says on their Wikipedia page:

The site—a self-proclaimed "sinister cabal of superior bloggers"—offers a wide range of articles focusing on popular culture in such categories as Music, Books, TV/Film, Sports, and Gaming. In addition, it features Politics and Culture sections dealing with a broader range of cultural issues. At the time of this writing, Blogcritics currently features more than 400 original articles a week and maintains an archive of over 37,000 posts.

Sure, that sounds nice, but I used Blogcritics' search tool to look for posts that mentioned "bukkake" and here's what I got:

Sorry, we couldn't find any Web pages matching your criteria.
400 posts a week and no bukkake? Every time I go into our SiteMeter referrals somebody found KSK by searching bukkake. Nuff said.

the mighty mjd (3)
Now with 80% more links to the FanHouse!

Full Throttle (15)
I hadn't heard of this one, either. Turns out it's about motorcycles and stuff. In other words, it's the token Asian in the Cabinet. Full Throttle Sports: the Secretary of Education of sports blogs!

Baseball Musings (84)
About the site's author: Used to work for STATS, Inc. Used to work for ESPN. Writes about baseball. Doesn't tell jokes.

Listen, I'm not going to say it's a lame blog, because there are all sorts of basement-dwelling library-masturbating freaks who get off on paying attention to baseball stats. I'm sure it's a very good blog. On the other hand, it's our duty as Americans to ensure that this doesn't win best sports blog. Every vote for Baseball Musings is a vote for Al Gore when Chad Johnson is on the ballot.

Kissing Suzy Kolber (72)

Allow me to tell you the story of how KSK came to be.

I started my personal blog, Karmic Payback, solely to write about the Brazilian girl (whom I had never met) that stayed as a guest in my apartment for a week. When she left, I wrote a post that said, basically, what should I write about now? And that's when Big Daddy Drew left a comment that read -- and I quote -- "CC, what if we made this a group NFL blog? I've yet to see a fairly decent one."

So there you go. Kissing Suzy Kolber exists because I nailed a Brazilian girl. What else do you want out of a sports blog?

Polls are open until December 15th. You can vote once every 24 hours.