Jacksonville 44, Indianapolis 17: Saddle up, Indy. It's a tad early for your late-season collapse, but maybe, like the holidays, it'll just creep up a little sooner each year. Ricky Proehl and his two catches for 23 yards didn't do much to compensate for the team not addressing its seive-like run D. It's the Colts second loss in a row to a division foe, and now a team once contemplating a perfect season may see their seemingly inevitable first-round bye in jeopardy.
Miami 21, New England 0: Tom Brady got hurt late in the contest, with the Dolphins' stunning lack of respect wounding him deeply. He was 12-25 for 79 yards. A shame Tony Romo and Vince Young are actually worthy of attention, because the NFL is being deprived of the hot-blooded sensation of Harringtonmania.
Minnesota 30, Detroit 20: What the shit is an Artose Pinner? Is he a Jedi or a Sith? Is he Kit Fisto's brother?
Cincinnati 27, Oakland 10: Cell Block C(incinnati) opened a bottle of pruno punishment on the Raiders and Aaron Brooks in his second start back. Carson Palmer threw three picks, but unless the Raiders take 'em all the back (like they did twice against my Steelers. Guhhhhh.) they can't really capitalize.
Nigh Giants 27, Carolina 13: The Giants freefall is temporarily overtaken by that of the Panthers. Chris Weinke throws 61 passes, 10 more than he's thrown since 2001.
Philadelphia 21, Washington 19 - Being in D.C., I was stuck watching this game, which meant 30 minutes of those fucktasters Kenny Albert and Brian Baldinger delighting in the exploits on some retarded Eagles fan who switched jerseys between Brian Westbrook and Brian Dawkins depending on who had possession. Where was the Dead Tree Crew to rough this guy up? Seemed like a rough patch in the Miseducation of Jason Campbell early on, but Andy Reid let the 'Skins back in the game with fatheaded retardery. Ladell Betts signed a 5-year extension late in the week and looked plenty solid in this one. Does this mark the end of frequently hurt C-Port in D.C.? That oughta provoke UM nicely.
Baltimore 20, Kansas City 10: Steve McNair was mighty solid, going 21-27, 287 yds and a TD. Still, with Daunte Culpepper not playing, he's the clear owner of the league's lamest touchdown celebration, with his over-the-head, hands-together, palms-out I-don't-know-what. As if there weren't enough reasons to dislike the Ravens. I guess the only consolation is that they're only good for one or two offensive touchdowns a game.
Atlanta 17, Tampa Bay 6: I have absolutely nothing to say in regards to this contest. Hey, Vick has herpes. That's all I got. Um, know what I hate? Krav Maga. What a bullshit martial art. Yeah, I said it. Take that, IDF.
Tennessee 26, Houston 20: The NFL is in 17 countries and David Carr can say "I suck" in all of them.