This is the time of year when film critic/child rapists like Gene Shalit release their top 10 lists for books, movies, shows, games, and all that stuff. I used to go watch independent movies and buy obscure music, until I realized that I liked the idea of liking that shit more than I actually liked it. For example, I saw The Squid and the Whale. I guess it was all right. But then I rented Firewall. Is it a good movie? Well, at the end, Harrison Ford buries a pickaxe in Paul Bettany's back. And that is fucking sweet. Well worth the $4 rental fee I paid, and far superior to watching a 10-year-old kid pull his pud in the school library.
So, with only my basest desires in mind, here was my favorite shit from 2006:
Favorite Movie: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. This was released last year, but I don't particularly care. It has guns, blood, tits, and cheap gay jokes. Yup, that's a winner.
-So what do you do?
-I'm retired. I invented dice. What do you do?
I would have said The Departed, but the plot holes still annoy me. Let me just fire off 16 text messages during this back alley deal. I'm sure no one will notice.
Favorite Album: Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, by Arctic Monkeys. Songs about getting drunk and being kicked out of clubs? Works for me.
Favorite Song: "Lightning Blue Eyes", by The Secret Machines.
Favorite TV Show: "Heroes", though why they cast Rivers Cuomo as Sylar is beyond me.
Favorite Book: Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase For Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson. I read about 2 books every year, and I don't like people who brag about reading all the time. Oh, you read a book a week? Here's a shiny dollar and go fuck yourself. Anyway, this book is tits. Who knew a history book would have so much stuff happening?
And there you go. Our Meast of the Week is Pacman Jones of the Titans.
Between spitting on women, buying his own car back at auction, and throwing birthday parties that would make Sidney Poitier cry, Jones has shockingly managed to become one of the best cover corners and return men in the league. His TD return against Jacksonville helped the Titans shove their noses into the AFC playoff race, a stunning development.
I bet Pacman's list of favorite shit from this year totally mirrors mine.
Have a great Christmas, everyone. Hope you have a good time with family, friends and whoever else you encounter.