Got that good hair too...I like girls with that light complexion, look...I can't help it...I'm a victim...the man has programmed my condition...even my conditioning has been conditioned.
I couldn't think of a better way to introduce you to my new love than by quoting the lyrics of one of the best songs off of one of the best albums of all time (and quoting the song's hilarious intro which was sampled from the forgotten movie Chameleon Street). Now I'd like you all to meet my future, her name is Michelle and she's a local.
This my friends, is a well-built young woman.
Even though she's a Maryland Terrapin (what are you too good for Howard?) Michelle is perfect for me, just take a look at some of her favorite things.
Food: I love so many foods I can't choose.
Yeah, I'm right there with you sweetie. This is only a good thing as long as she stays in game shape.
Music: I like everything from country to rap, but hip hop is my favorite for the moment.
Country? I'm just going to assume that's her way of pandering to all the misfit Redskins fans.
Now I know it's meant to be! My old fantasy football league was called the D Blockers (and I love LOX on my bagels).
Book: "Girl With a Pearl Earring"
Well I was hoping for something slightly different. How about we change the earring to a necklace and "book" to "magazine" and we're in business.
Redskins Player: Ladell Betts
You've got to love a hot ass cheerleader who roots for the backup. Of course Ladell is the man, but she'd never leave me for him. He's Mike Sellers' bitch.
Movie: Office Space
Office Space is definitely not my favorite movie, but I wouldn't expect to see Rashomon. Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
TV Show: House
I really did enjoy House for awhile (now that shit's all fucked up), of course I'd watch anything as long as I could rest my head on an ample bosom.
Cartoon: South Park
Michelle, you are the most beautiful woman in the World...of Warcraft.
Describe your perfect date: As long as I'm having fun, it's perfect.
CHEAP! More money for booze!
What is your favorite thing to do when you're not at practice: Relax!
I assume that when she says "relax!" she really means "nap after full day of fucking!"
An intrepid reader happened to notice Michelle's favorite saying, "You never know until you try."
Rumph!!! Rumph!!! Rumph!!!