Saturday, December 16, 2006

Informative? No. Enlightening? No. The Best F--king Sports Blog in the Universe? You Bet Your Sweet, Sweet Ass


What do you get when you threaten to humiliate a reporter's daughter, call Bill Simmons a fucktard, use the word "fuck" as a frequent writing crutch, post lots of YouTube clips as filler, and shamelessly suckle off the teat of Will Leitch?

A major fucking award, that's what.

That's right. Kissing Suzy Kolber has won the 2006 Weblog Best Sports Blog award. We're officially the best sports blog on the internet (um, pending verification). The entire internet. Even the Danish one. Lick it.

Now, I think you know what happens next: millions of dollars, international acclaim, a ruthless cocaine habit that knows no bottom, untold numbers of groupies banged and STD's contracted, and a bitter, bitter break up. But before all that happens next week, there are four groups of people who deserve our genuine thanks for helping us win this thing:


Will Leitch. Let's be honest. All Will had to do was say, "Hey, go vote for Deadspin!" a couple times and we would have been smoked like Chris Henry's rolling papers. Leitch let us win. And, man, does it feel good. I tell you, there's no more satisfying way to win anything. I'll take that shit every day and twice on Sunday. I'll even include a flattering picture of him as thanks. Who knew Annie Liebovitz was a Deadspin reader?

KSK came out of Deadspin, and I think it's fair to say that Deadspin has established itself as the finest sports site on the internet today. Not just among blogs. So Will's generosity and endorsement are most certainly appreciated.

Then again, Will gets paid. So fuck him.


Whoever nominated us. We didn't do it. We didn't even know the awards existed. Someone pointed it out to us. According to the awards site, here's how nominees were picked:

There was a call for nominations early in November for all of the categories. There were around 4,500 nominations overall for the various categories. The list of nominees was pared down by myself (Kevin Aylward) and a team volunteers. For the most part if a site was not nominated it wasn't even considered as a finalist, though in categories with a small number of nominees we had to do some research. In some cases blogs nominated in one category were shifted to other categories we felt were more appropriate.

It's clear now what occurred. Someone was kind enough to nominate us, and then Kevin mixed us up with George Will's Web Record of Erudite 1870's Baseball Recollections and Overly Pedantic Foreign Policy Commentary. Happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME. So thanks to whoever did that. You truly did the Lord's work. That Lord being Louis Cyphre, Crown Prince of Darkness.


Everyone who voted for us. Over 2,000 people voted for us. Well, not including the seven of us. Multiple times. And our friends and families and random passersby in the street who were also asked (strong-armed) to vote for us. Again, multiple times. So that leaves at least 4 of you. Frankly, the fact that anyone voted for us is both touching and a sign of the coming Rapture. No need for you to wear your clothes tomorrow. Jesus will take you au naturel. Heaven, apparently, is a nudist colony.

Thanks to everyone who voted for us. The fact that anyone reads this shit blows my mind every day. I cannot tell you how much we appreciate it. And finally, special thanks go out to...


Us. God, we're good. We're just so fucking good. I love me some virtual me.

Thanks again. It's all steeply downhill from here, lads!

NOTE: We've also had our sports blogging championship ring already commissioned. Have a look.













I think it looks quite sharp, no?

38 comments:

whowillsexmutombo? said...

Your championship rings bare a striking resemblance to my class ring from high school.

Oh, sweet Texas. How you prepared me for adulthood...

Oh, by the way - The Seahawks lost last night.

Christmas Ape said...

Aaaaint no stoppin' us nnnnow, we're on the move.

Suss & The Family Stone said...

Shit, I lost to the Notre Dame blog. That's it. Where did I put my avatar and my Photoshop?

(FWIW, BC Sports had the lead in the first couple hours, when we had 12 votes. Then the other blogs cheated by "finding out about it.")

Unsilent Majority said...

the pictures are quite fd.

swing4 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
swing4 said...

Congratulations. I'm proud of you all.

Shoopmonster said...

I'm sorry if this has double posted but I have been having a few difficulties switching from my old blogging account to the new g-mail account. I would like to congratulate this blog on winning the award that you were nominated for, even if you promoted your election a bit. I think that all of the writer's are exceedingly gifted and wish my blog would be able to come with something nearly as clever as the things that this blog consistently comes up with. There are a few blogs that I check regularly and this just happens to be one of them, thanks to the brilliance of posts and my love for the NFL. Let it be noted that I am under the influence at this time and therefore verbose, but you guys have done a bang-up job. Kudos.

Mike said...

Damn it, I should have listened to UM.

Congrats, guys.

Signal to Noise said...

Cheers, gents. I'd write more, but I'm plastered.

swing4 said...

Yeah, about that picture, Drew... thanks for letting me know that UM is a Cancer, but you could have just TOLD me.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Hey congrats gents! I only voted for you about twice a day...from two different computers...so thats 10 times I voted for you. The internet is like Florida or Ohio in that way....

Anyway, congrats again and make sure you give Deadspin the reach around!

8hrdrive said...

Although I only voted a couple of times for you, namely because I really don't think voting for sport blogs is a good use of my time, I congratulate you on a dick smackin' good job!

8hrdrive said...

you big headed fist fuckers.

Laser Rocket Arm said...

Congrats, guys. When can I expect the check you promised me for spamming the ballot box?

Rob I said...

My 17 votes for Deadspin mean nothing now.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

Congrats. You better not get lazy now motherfuckers.

Unsilent Majority said...

fuck it, i'm going on vacation with falco

chiswede said...

Sweet, I wasn't going to wear pants tomorrow anyway. Congrats.

peytonloveskenny said...

Has falco been on vacation since October? I think he should be President.

twoeightnine said...

Will has $22,000 reasons why he doesn't care.

4giantsfans said...

A comedian says...

"smack with a dick, smack her with a dick...Put a dick in her ear put a dick in her ear, fuck her in the eye, fuck her in the eye, blind the bitch, blind the bitch..."

becky said...

you guys are some types of gentlemen. that's why I voted so many times.
congrats.
shirtless butter party commencing...???

4giantsfans said...

nude oil wrestling with becky and ape?

epsknows said...

Congrats. I will be out tonight and hoist one up and everyone I know will look at me funny when I cheers to KSK.

Arn Ziffel said...

Congratulations Gentleman. I tpains me that Mark Bavaro has a book deal and you fine men don't Mark Chumura I could completely understand. That'a a hot tub, er petri dish, of a completely different color

Sooze said...

Well done! Time to find some slutty KSK groupies to bang.

BigRicks said...

You guys regularly bring the funny, good stuf, my work days would be incomplete without your daily musings. Any any lame attempts I make to write/blog are more or less a direct rip off of your style. Thank you much.

SuperFrankieLampard said...

congratulations, guys. will we be able to get replica rings from skymall?

whykiki said...

So, if Kissing Suzy Kolber is Fleetwood Mac, which author is Stevie Nicks? 'Cause I need to know who's going to be sampled by Destiny's Child.

Dennis said...

Congrats guys. Now its only a matter of time until Suzy sues your asses for doing something good with here name.

Keep up the good work.

gk said...

"You're a star....

And I'm a star-fucker!"

grungedave said...

congrats guys...!

Awful Chief said...

You guys are not exactly lightweights in the blogosphere. Buncha Larry Sellers Sr.'s. Thanks, fellas. Now get back to work.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I'd have said congrats sooner, but I just got my fucking power back earlier this evening from it going out after the pathetic Seahawks game Thursday night.

On a side note, since I had no power, I've been drinking my sorrows away, so I also couldn't type 3 words either.

So, congrats.

dusty said...

Love the ring..just curious, what size is it?

Otto Man said...

Aaaaint no stoppin' us nnnnow, we're on the move.

Judging by your ring selection, that should be Taint no stoppin' us now...

Thank you, thank you. Remember, folks, the 11 o'clock show is completely different from the 8 o'clock one. But leave the kids in your room -- it gets a little blue.

highonLowe said...

Congrats! Now bring on the popups and annoying flash ads...


I didn't know Drew wore glasses?

OkieRover said...

Well done.
I enjoy this site alot.
What the hell is that last picture?

Keep up the good work, or the slacking, which ever makes you more successful.