Tuesday, February 27, 2007

KSK Off-Topic: A Quick Note To All The Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People In The National Sports Media


Just shut up about students storming the court already, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People.

We get it, you don't like it when fans storm the court or field after what you would not consider a "big win." I heard one of you on the radio today refer to it as "disgusting," which is a shameful overstatement, but I'll get back to that. You guys pull shit like this all the time whenever you see fans doing something you don't like, just like when people are booing your favorite athletes, like your favorite White Person, Derek Jeter:

Derek Jeter's getting booed! Nobody should be booing my Derek! He's earned the right to play at a mediocre level without reprisal from the populace! Whaaaaaaah!

You don't fucking get it, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People. We'll boo whomever the fuck we want. And we don't require a blessing from the national media to do so. It's not like you assholes are paying to get into these games.

Same rules apply with storming the field or court. It's not like students are storming the court after they lose. When your team wins an important conference game at home, you might as well get out there, because who knows when you'll win another one. If the practice allows a few on-campus couches to live another hour or so, how is that a bad thing?

Storming the court is special, sure, but its scope isn't limited to the world of sports. It's part of the college experience. Remember when you went to college, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People?

So, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People, maybe your time would be better spent by going back to traditional "sports talk," that is, your cryptic whining about how much you hate it that there are 25-year-old black kids out there making more money than you. That's where you Old, White People seem to excel. Dipshits.

35 comments:

My Insignificant Life said...

It's a good thing that I read the story under the photo - for a minute, I thought MMP was writing about Anna Nicole Smith's baby derby and everyone in the picture claiming to be the father......

Big Jim Slade said...

Well...maybe it's about time some students DID rush the court after their home team loses. Maybe try it at Texas Tech first, and then see where it goes from there?

Awful Chief said...

There should be more court/field rushes when the home team loses but scores to cover the spread or hit the over on the last play of the game. It would be confusing to most fans watching on tv unless Musburger was doing the game.

JR said...

I'm not old, or Jewish but storming the court/field is asinine. I mean come on people act like you have been there before and you expect such accomplishments.

highonlowe said...

People who say storming the court is asinine probably went to a boring school with a terrible team.
If you frown on storming the court, you frown on America.
Its a celebration (bitches!), and there's nothing wrong with it as long as you don't riot or set fire to the arena.

Weed Against Speed said...

I mean come on people act like you have been there before and you expect such accomplishments.

That's kind of the point, jr. Most of the kids rushing the court haven't been there before. They are actually trying to enjoy their college years, something perhaps you chose not to do (nothing wrong with that - that's your choice) or you went somewhere like Duke or UNC where winning basketball is the norm. Lighten up.

SteveJeltzFan said...

You don't fucking get it, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People. We'll boo whomever the fuck we want

MMP - honorary Philadelphian.

flubby said...

Jeter mediocre? I assume you are talking about something other than baseball or shagging high-end poontang.

save the steagles said...

This angers me to no end as well. I believe it is MY tens of thousands of dollars in tutition and fees which allow my school and it's programs to exist. If I want to storm the court after a thrilling OT win against Akron and unwillingly partake in some stranger-on-stranger groping, that is my right.

The Intern said...

Isn't our right to storm the court defended by the Constitution? No? Fuck, well it should be.

Groups of college kids should storm these writers' lawns.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Flub, wasn't it two years ago when Jeter had an absolutely abysmal start and he was getting booed out of the park? I'd say that stretch qualified as mediocre.

liquid_d said...

jr probably went to some junior community college without sports , so it's understandable he wouldn't get rushing the court.Oh, and Jeters deserves extra credit for his poonany levels despite his membership in the fetus head club(but he will never get chesney)

Weed Against Speed said...

Being fully aware that I am probably going to get hammered on for this comment, I think Derek Jeter is #### and overrated. There, I said it. He has been living off a few good postseasons for years now. He also has been one of the most protected hitters in any lineup in the major leagues for the last five years. True, he has hit for average during the regular season but I would have liked to see what he what sort of numbers he would have put up in a Blue Jays or Orioles jersey.

Christmas Ape said...

As an alum of Maryland, a school both accustomed to winning and being completely morally bankrupt, rushing the court is a hallowed tradition, even if the Terps just beat Siena by 40 points.

Otto Man said...

I bet when they were back in school in the Roaring Twenties, the Old, White (but not Jewish) sportswriters all thought storming the court was the bee's knees!

They'd rush out there screaming "23 Skidoo!", and then dance the Charleston all the way down to the local Ephram's Druggist for an ice cold phosphate! My Goodness, those young collegians were more excited than a Fitzgerald character at an ether frolic!

My oh my, how times have changed. For shame, octagenarian sportswriters. For shame.

P.S. I am not a crank.

BeaverFever said...

I rushed the court after a huge URI win against UMass back in '93. It was fun, we were cocked, and the game was nationaly televised. I say rush the court, but at your own risk.

And Jeter is not overrated, and even if he is he gets a pass for all that fine snatch he seems to always be with.

JR said...

Bama alum. When we won big on the field we didn't storm because we have been there before and expected it. When we won big on the court, which wasn't often, we didn't storm the court but celebrated heartedly. Go ahead and celebrate like you have never won big before and those of us who have will just sit back and laugh at your dumb asses.

Weed Against Speed said...

jr, Nick Saban would like a word with you.

And while you are laughing at us dumbasses you may actually see "Bama" fans behaving like this:

http://deadspin.com/sports/college-football/wooo-roll-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide-226903.php

But what do I know? I'm a dumbass(sorry I don't know how to post a link. I'm a moron).

liquid_d said...

Jr went to "Bama" ? Like I said, junior community college with no sports

BeaverFever said...

get off your high horse jr. if being a 20 yr old drunk that rushes the court makes me or anyone else a dumb ass so be it. also, i like how you write, "when we say when we won.." are we to take that as if you actually played football or basketball at Alabama ?

Mickey Free said...

I heard that jackass talking about storming the court this morning. He is a moron. And by the way, Jeter is only half white

I rape red sox fans said...

Can't get anything past Mickey Free.

Tim said...

weed for speed, no one questions Jeter's baseball in-ability.

However, his hottie banging skills rival cap't caveman.

Bouj said...

Rushing the court isn't bad. It's who is rushing the court that is. If you are from Vanderbilt and you just upset the defending champs on your court, then I'll meet you under the rim. If you are from Syracuse and you just beat an overrated Georgetown on your court, stay in the stands.

I'm all for students rushing the court, unless you go to one of the folowing schools:

Duke, North Carolina, Syracuse, Connecticut, Kansas, UCLA, Arizona

You guys are good, have been good for a while, and are the elite powers, rough patch be damned. You guys shouldn't storm unless you beat the #1 team in the country or your most hated rival.

Storming the court is about to get overplayed like the Gatorade bath.

Run Up The Score! said...

Joe Buck threw up in his mouth after reading this post.

Clutch247 said...

There should be more court/field rushes when the home team loses but scores to cover the spread or hit the over on the last play of the game


haha by far one of the best comment subjects in a while...How anyone even think that rushing the court is a bad idea is fucking beyond me. Tree hugging twat waffles are wat u are. May god have mercy on your soul.

p.s. Props to Cuse last nite for filling up the entire area of the court in about 11 seconds...one of the best rushes I've seen in years.

Real Men Eat Haggis said...

That goes double for you Lupica - shut the fuck up

Jez said...

Hey, I'm all for rushing the court/field after a win. Hell, I'm even good for a good spring riot every few years regardless of any sporting event occurring. But then, I went to Iowa State, so what the fuck did you expect? At least I'm not Dallas Clark (U of Iowa) who goes back and heckles the ref at a girl's basketball game being played at his high school alma mater

The Pirate Sloth said...

Fuck rushing the court AFTER the game...I want to see more streakers interrupting the game with their poor planned, naked ass, flapping in the wind antics and getting clobbered by Security. Good times, especially when said Security knows how to throw a devastating tackle.

JoshLove said...

nice to see Simmons reading KSK again...

and fwiw, Billy Boy, Brandan Wright missed that 2nd free throw ON PURPOSE and did a pretty fucking solid job of it - had Hansbrough secured the rebound and gotten a put back we'd be talking overtime.

My Insignificant Life said...

I want to see the ultimate rush on the field - The Sex Cannon running out at half time, banging every cheerleader and still having time to get ready for the 2nd half and on the first play, throw for an 80 yard TD pass.

This makes rushing the field worthwhile.

Mike said...

I'm white, not-quite old (and occasionally Jewish) and think college students should rush the court at all times: after a win, after a loss, before a tie, during a timeout, whatever.

For fuck's sake, these students (or their parents) are paying enormous sums of money so the pituitary cases can run around and bang all the cheerleaders. Then they get schtupped for the price of a ticket.

They should be allowed to sit on the court during the game.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Tree hugging twat waffles

Now that's some funny shit.

Anyway, when you beat a team that has your number (Clemson v. UVA football in 1990) or is ranked waaaaay higher than you or if you beat Duke or UNC (basketball) or USC, Ohio St, Miami, FSU (football) whenever, then it's OK to rush the court/field and bang some cheerleaders if you can catch them.

That BAMA fan just proves that folks in Confederate country know shit about celebrating properly. The last time they were relevant Derrick Lassic was toting the rock.

And Jeter gets a forever hall pass for the quality poon-tang and the 4 WS rings he's rocking around his schlong.

swing4 said...

A) Something tells me we may need an "angry rant" tag around here during the off season.

B) I subscribe to the Only Storm the Court/Rush the Field Against Your Most Hated Rival school of thought. Then, it's not about gleeful celebration, it's about grinding the win deep into the souls of the opposing team and student body with such crushing force that they never, ever recover. Pulling down the goal post is a nice touch, too. Gives 'em a little sum'n to remember you by.

Weed Against Speed said...

And Jeter gets a forever hall pass for the quality poon-tang and the 4 WS rings he's rocking around his schlong.

If Jeter is rocking his WS rings around his schlong, I hope he's not bragging about it. Maybe that's why things haven't worked out with all that quality ass he's been getting.