Sunday, February 4, 2007

Pregame Show--What.The.Fuck.

This is the gayest thing I've ever seen on network television (and that includes Grey's Anatomy) .

Quoth Drew: It's like a French abortion.

My take is more sinister. I'm convinced that Roger Goodell is actively trying to ruin my life.

We'll be back throughout the pregame/game/halftime ceremony with our thoughts. Join us in the comments.

Re: Marlee Matlin signing the national anthem
Drew: Write that down so we can make a deaf joke later.

It's good to be amongst friends.

Nice work by Joel on that anthem, short and sweet. Sure am glad I didn't bet on that fucker.

Patrick Manley has a manly mustache. Who the fuck is Patrick Manley?


HOLY FUCKING SHIT! DEVIN HESTER FOR PRESIDENT!

I hope this doesn't play out like the Florida/Ohio State game. I'm just glad I didn't go out for that cig.

Nice toss Peyton

DREW at 6:37: REX IS FUCKING GOING DEEP.

76 comments:

Eric said...

I turned it to Figure Skating on ESPN... looks like I came out ahead.

McFad said...

I would have took the under. Let the cannonizing commence.
Must see Norbit more times than i see the commercial

Surprise In Your Eye said...

Anyone else notice how everybody else had family and Marvin Harrison was represented by his 7th grade Geometry teacher?

How big of a loser are you when you don't even have family to represent you for a Super Bowl ad? Poor Harrison. Nobody likes you.

Daniel said...

Every. Fucking. Cliche. In. The book.

Jesus.

McFad said...

1st play after the kick: Deep to Berrian.

Laces out Marino!

Daniel said...

No fucking way

McFad said...

Hmm imagine that

Mezzrow said...

Returngasm!

Surprise In Your Eye said...

We'll have to wait for our Sex Cannon fix.

McFad said...

animated animals suck like katie couric

ptomsic said...

gloria estefan should have taken her shirt off. show a little spinal scar, talk about that time her and left-eye from TLC were running drugs off the cliff [burton]

Rip Slagcheek said...

Booger McFarland is actually Eddie Murphy in a fat suit.

BlazerBandit said...

"REX IS FUCKING GOING DEEP"

thats what she said?

save the steagles said...

this is, in fact, the last game of the season.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Fucking Nantz...Peyton missed a day of practice earlier THIS YEAR.

Oh, fuck. Wayne just scored.

MemphisRaines said...

Did Manning just have a throwgasm?

McFad said...

Waynehead wide open, wow blown coverage anyone?

Eric said...

ROMOWND!

Crazy Little Thing said...

Eschew.

Eric said...

Also - I'm fucking ecstatic that it is not our country yet.

Daniel said...

it will always be our country... for the rest of your life

Monday Morning Punter said...

Oh, shit, ......Oh yes!

Eric said...

I swear this is a Madden game played by two 13 year olds. When they go for it on 4th and 9, you'll see I'm right.

Mezzrow said...

cue Ohio Players

"Roller coaster . . . of love"

Throwgasm!

Monday Morning Punter said...

That's how Rexy does it in the sexy business!

Daniel said...

Rexy forces it in to a tight hole and scores!

McFad said...

Sex Cannon-1 Peyton- Horsehead

Eric said...

Holy shit... Budweiser Inc. found a way to make Carlos Mencia almost funny.

save the steagles said...

Rex's touchdown pass gave me butterflies!

Rip Slagcheek said...

Carlos (fka Ned) Mencia just ruined my Super Bowl. His stupid commericial has actually been the best one so far. My brain is bleeding.

Surprise In Your Eye said...

What, you didn't enjoy the homo-erotic Snickers commercial? Seriously, are they trying to make football a gay sport?

Eric said...

You saw it here first. Rex Grossman - Superbowl MVP.





seriously.

Head Chick said...

Deaf joke? How about HOT deaf bitch joke?

Rip Slagcheek said...

Cedric Benson injures his own teammate.

Malcontent.

Surprise In Your Eye said...

Can someone say, 98 yard touchdown pass to Berrian?

McFad said...

Not quite Eric.....
31-21 Da Bears. Rextasy shatters at least 6 hips during the course of the game, and tells Jim Nantz off as he accepts the Lombardi. Berrian has two touches, Rex rushes for one. Hester gets a kick-off. Gould ends the half with FG. Michael Irvin gets caught with a kilo of blow, voiding his election to the HOF.
11:58 AM, February 04, 2007

FenwayFaithful78 said...

The Coke marketing team must have been trippin balls when they pitched that commercial.

ptomsic said...

fenwayf, that's a vice city spoof.

mcfad: i'll go merriman and irvin caught in a hotel pulling the mantrain

FenwayFaithful78 said...

I just don't understand video games after you are 20....unless it's sports games.

Is this why I can't find a guy? I'm cute and easy but refuse to deal with video games...

Manning is picking up momentum..i'm worried.

Rip Slagcheek said...

If the Coke guys were trippin' balls, I'm really curious as to what in Sam Hell the Garmin people were doing.

Eric said...

fenwayfaithful78. yes.


you're going to die alone.

Surprise In Your Eye said...

Nothing like fat people getting horny over Doritos.

McFad said...

Wait...The coaches are black?

Daniel said...

whqat's up with Chevy's new homo-themed campaign?

the chief said...

i never touch a dorito or a register 6 ever. again.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

oh.my.gawd.

I need a line open to Sara Spain STAT! She needs to teach me the ways of the world.

Serious Satan Manning needs to cut this out!

Rip Slagcheek said...

The cliff really made the first commerical last commericalof that break. Office workers being bagged and netted for a training seminar...ehh.

But then the ones who escape plummeting to their deaths for no apparent reason? I can dig it.

Eric said...

How can NASCAR car-cameras stay clean but the MOST WATCHED SHOW OF THE YEAR has to deal with water smudges.

glad i dropped $3500 on HD.

Surprise In Your Eye said...

How to get a man by Sarah Spain

1. Have a giant rack.
2. Display rack at every possible moment.

And there you have it.

Eric said...

fenway... you already said you're easy, there's nothing Sarah Spain can teach you.

Rip Slagcheek said...

Bad comment box! Bad!

The cliff really made the first commerical of that break. Office workers being bagged and netted for a training seminar...ehh.

But then the ones who escape plummeting to their deaths for no apparent reason? I can dig it.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

Eric- apparently I need to learn some marketing skills.

My friend just called to ask me if they cancel the game because of the weather. What do you say to someone who asks that?

Eric said...

fenway -

I'm going to assume your friend is a hot chick, because no ugly chick or guy would ask that. If that's indeed the case, post pictures.

McFad said...

Need to let Rex Unleash the dragon

the chief said...

Nice shot of an emotionless Benson sitting on a bench in the rain - cold, hooded and alone. It's like seeing into the future. What you can't see yet is the sign asking for money and me throwing a milkshake on him.

Rip Slagcheek said...

If eric's guess is correct, I suggest a spanking.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

hey now...let's stick to the topic at hand...

Rextacy and his ginormous sex cannon.

McFad said...

That can't fail a movie with tim allen, martin lawrence and travolta. Question how did they get Macy to sign on?

Rip Slagcheek said...

Tim Allen, John Travolta, and Martin Lawrence ride motorcycles together.

Yeah, I can see that one.

ptomsic said...

jim nantz: "[strike]marcia, marcia, marcia[/strike]peyton peyton peyton"

Surprise In Your Eye said...

Okay, now it's time to see someone unleash the Dragon.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

I'm glad that it's raining. The SB is always so perfect and clean. it seems so fitting that Manning and Rexy have to roll around in the mud to see who comes out on top.

There are some joke gems in there...find them yourselves.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

SUCK IT VINATERI! That's what you get for being a greedy bastard.


I think I'm still a bit bitter...

Surprise In Your Eye said...

Well, this half time show should fit the whole gay theme they've got going for them so far.

MemphisRaines said...

And Tom Brady is giggling to himself right now.

jackhandey said...

Vanderjagt would have hit that.

McFad said...

Now time to catch some of the Puppy Bowl.
I'm betting on bulldog railing a poodle

the chief said...

SHIBBA SHABBA!! FLIPPA DADDA BADDADOOBA. HABBA KNABBA SIPPAH SLIMMA!

ptomsic said...

20:1 says prince's nipple slips out in the rain

jackhandey said...

Prince: "Are you ready to get nuts tonight?"

Peyton: "Yes"

save the steagles said...

What the fuck is on stage dancing with Prince? I may be a little drunk, but it looks like two yeti's and a black pillsbury doughboy.

Surprise in your eye said...

So, how many of Prince's dancers do you think the Sex Cannon unleashed the Dragon on?

save the steagles said...

the glow in the dark bandies look like neon sperm dancing around.

jackhandey said...

Shockingly, Prince's halftime show managed to be less weird than the pregame show.

Daniel said...

Prince is fucking awesome. Can't remember the last time I wasn't wincing through the entire halftime show. Remember how good that was when they trot out Clay Aiken and Aretha Franklin's 700-pound corpse at next year's show,

Eric said...

Phil Simms and Jim Nantz just informed me that it's raining and that might affect the game.


Just wanted to pass that along