Monday, February 26, 2007

KSK Gamebook: The Gay Super Bowl

The Gay Super Bowl was Sunday night. And since we're obligated to cover anything obliquely related to the Super Bowl, here are our thoughts from the four hours of Oscar coverage.


- Check out the tits on Jessica Biel.

- Is it wrong that I think Helen Mirren is hot?

- Man, I love a good movie montage during the Oscars. Thank God all those people died.

- Reese Witherspoon looks good enough to eat.

- Scorsese finally won, as did The Departed. Totally deserved awards, if you ask me. But then, I'm white. As any sensible commenter can tell you: white people are pussies and that movie is bullshit.

Want more coverage? Go to E!, ya freakin' homo.

29 comments:

micah said...

since i didn't watch any of the awards, but will still look at pictures of jessica biel, does this make me less gay than you? i say yes.

save the steagles said...

Helen Mirren put Biel to shame. Damn, that woman has aged well.

Grimey said...

It's just a shame that "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" wasn't eligible for Best Song. The Dropkick Murphys would've destroyed that stage.

Signal to Noise said...

Jessica Biel should have worn some other dress rather than that piece of crap she had on. Frankly, she should have gotten out of it immediately. No one would have complained.

grimey - agreed.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

is ryan philippe still married to Reese? If he isn't, he best be nailing some hot fan-pussy. Witherspoon was pants-stirring hot.

TurtlePower said...

Has anyone seen Helen when she was young? SMOKING. Now? SMOKING. Some things change, some things stay the same.

Big Daddy Drew said...

How about that Ellen DeGeneres? I know I like my comedians to be meek and stammering!

Unsilent Majority said...

Ellen was getting a bit flushed during the Dreamgirls performance.

Christmas Ape said...

"That's a comment I'd hate to follow, Unsilent.

Now, to present for Best Editing, the same comic device I've been using all night."

becky said...

Ryan Phillippe = gayer than Dreamboat's goat

BeaverFever said...

I'm pretty sure there must be some man law against watching the Oscar's. However, one thing I'm 100% sure about is that Reese Witherspoon is a total piece of ass.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Jerry Seinfeld was funnier in a minute-and-a-half than Ellen was through the whole show. And I'd bet good coin that Melissa's Oscar busted out some lesbian hymen last night.

Monday Morning Punter said...

And here is a pic of Mirren at age 24.

I would.

Unsilent Majority said...

Mirren looked a bit lopsided last night if you ask me.

Rob I said...

Seinfeld > Vaginfeld

Also, fuck Eddie Murphy. I'm glad he didn't win.

highonlowe said...

The only celebrities I care about are the ones I haven't seen naked yet. Scarlett, I'm waiting...

Permanent4 said...

It's okay to watch the Oscars if you have a hot chick draped on you, eating popcorn out of the tub on your lap. It's even more fun when she reaches into the tub discovers you've cut a hole in the bottom for her special surprise snack...

devang said...

The only celebrities I care about are the ones I haven't seen naked yet. Scarlett, I'm waiting...

You and every other guy..well unless you are a lesbian

Justin Timberlake isn't. Hope he didn't give her what Britney has.

BeaverFever said...

Helen Mirren is porn worthy. Anyone else remember a porno mag named Over 40 ? All the chicks in the mag were over 40 yrs of age. I wonder if they still print that mag ? If they do I doubt Helen Mirren would do a photo shoot for them, but she should.

Weed Against Speed said...

beaverfever - are you telling me that in a porno mag named "Over 40" all the women are over 40 years old? I thought that simply was a reference to their I.Q.

Just bustin' your chops. But seriously, Helen Mirren - nothing wrong with THAT!

Unsilent Majority said...

helen pre-sag (that's screen actor's guild you dick)
http://www.rsc.org.uk/picturesandexhibitions/images/from_xml/women/I_82_T884_97_c.jpg

BeaverFever said...

weed against speed - if it was a reference to their IQ the mag might be named Under 40. And I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with Helen Mirren

Ryan said...

It creeped me about thinking about Helen Mirren that way last night, but I'm glad you folks made me feel better about it today. And Reese was smokin'.

Benjamin said...

Mirren was definitely jugged up last night.

Clint said...

If you were suiting up for an all night fuck-a-thon, who you you most likely be able to fuck all night?

a) Jess Biel

b) Reese Witherspoon

c) Clarence Weatherspoon (not related to reese, the Godess)

BeaverFever said...

Biel with Reese Witherspoon watching

Weed Against Speed said...

How about Biel and Witherspoon with me recording it? Otherwise, I would be worried it would be a two-pump and dump but the tape would last forever.

Signal to Noise said...

Want more coverage? Go to E!, ya freakin' homo.

E!'s Giuliana DePandi won the little statue in my pants during last night's post-Oscar coverage.

clint: both Biel and Witherspoon. Helen Mirren could narrate while working the camera in what she was wearing last night.

the butler said...

Biel looked like she had raided Marion Jones' stash.

Her arms were so damn ripped I thought she was Sly Stallone after his "muscle building blitz" to get ready for Rocky 33 and 1/3.

Biel = Meast of the Evening.