Monday, February 5, 2007

Steve Irwin Memorial Meast of the Week- Super Bowl

The Super Bowl MVP is gay, that fact was hammered in when Fetus Head was handed the award while standing on a pedestal high above his unworthy teammates. So while Peyton was preening, Dominic Rhodes was doing his bit for Disney, and Tony Dungy was expressing his man-love for Jesus (which may or may not be a pet name for Peyton) we started thinking about who really put on the best performance of the night.

When it came down to it there was only one real option, this is a guy who battled back from a devastating hip surgery, played his ass off in the pouring rain, and entertained millions of people with his gloriously innapropriate shadow puppets (he's been searching for a perfectly matching pussy since puberty).

Ladies and gentlemen your Super Bowl Meast of the Week is Prince.



Now I have to start planning next week's Pro Bowl party.

50 comments:

The Andre Waters Experience said...

His name is Prince/
and he is funky/
when it comes to funk/
he is the junkie/
he knows from righteous/
he knows from sin/
he got two sides/
and they both friends

I was kinda glad he didn't sing that, actually.

Grimey said...

Fuck and yes.

Somebody finally gets it right.

Mike said...

That little slide into Jimi & the Foo Fighters was very sweet.

Dude played a good show.

Corduroy Dream said...

After his performance last night, I decided that given the opportunity, I would have any kind of sex Prince wanted me for.

That's saying something, because while I'm certainly socially gay, I'm sexually straight.

Just unreal stuff.

highonLowe said...

I have to admit, it was a great show. The Watchtower cover was the best, except for this move.
Awesome

grungedave said...

Prince playing a Foo Fighters song was simultaneously awesome and confusing. But... damn... what a badass.

All the women that Rexy failed to impregnate by halftime were satisfied by the time Prince was finished with 'em.

MemphisRaines said...

Enjoy it while you can - I've heard that Prince's people aren't big fans of the YouTubes. Fucking awesome.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Peter King today:

"h. Prince, Schmince."

Grrrrrrrrrr...

devang said...

Has PK entered Mariotti fucktard territory yet?

Does this warrant a Mary Beth photoshop?

grungedave said...

Peter King also said that there is "too much poker" on TV. And that it's bad for kids? F that. I think there's too much Peter King on TV!

Big Daddy Drew said...

More PK:

"Sitting next to Rick Reilly in the press section. "You know what I call Prince?'' he said before halftime. "Not 'The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.' But 'The Artist Formerly Known.'''"

This is funny, because I refer to Rick Reilly as A Douchebag.

Mike said...

"h. Prince, Schmince."

I guess Prince refused to give PK's offer for the Romo treatment. You know nothing's more vindictive than a sportswriter scorned.

And after PK saw the sillouette, man did he burn over what he was missing.

Dat RoRo Kid said...

straight up, i thought Prince fucking ruled. I mean, how many Middle Americans were totally freaked out watching this while tossing back their fuckin' Budweiser cans???

Not to mention the fact that the guy is a TOTAL BADASS on the guitar...props to his soundman and his guitar tech. I haven't seen sustain like that since the last time i fucked a Cuban girl.

$klimp$ said...

The Superbowl was on Telemundo?

becky said...

Who's Rick Reilly?

becky said...

Who's Rick Reilly?

becky said...

Who's Rick Reilly?

becky said...

Curse you double posts, and curse you New Blogger. You've now just been added to the list of "Things/People I Am Currently Wishing Nasty Strains of STDs Upon."

Dan Daoust said...

That's a might impressive erection, but I still can't figure out he did that curvy thing with his testicle.

becky said...

Triple now??? A Peter King column upon your head.

blacknote said...

Peter King articles consistently seem like an old man yelling "damn kids",
hating Prince just further solidifies my opinion.

McFad said...

Rick Reilly writes an article in SI. It always appears on the last page before the back cover.

Perfect choice for Meast

Chamomiles Davis said...

My favorite part is when the white people are released onto the field. Plenty of dancing with overbites in that crowd.

Signal to Noise said...

Here is my testament to the genius of Prince: He can turn sub-par Foo Fighters songs into compelling listening live.

Haters like PK can go fellate his guitar.

Pemulis said...

prince covering the foo fighters is like, say, bob dylan covering nickelback. why couldnt he just play prince songs. when i think prince, i dont want to think "ooh shitty dave grohl songs" i want to think raspberry fucking beret

Chamomiles Davis said...

I thought the Foo Fighters cover was Prince returning the compliment from when they covered "Darling Nikki" a few years back.

BigRicks said...

If Prince stood up there and played the Shins he still would have found a way to make it fucking rock. Prince is the balls. Fuck Peter King and Rick Reilly. They're bigger fucktards than Skip Bayless

stig o'tracy said...

I was just about to pipe in with that, Chamomiles. That little medley is also badass because he's giving nods to Dylan and Hendrix while stealthily pushing the Jehovah's Witnesses and the "Watchtower"!

becky said...

I know who Rick Reilly is, unfortunately. Sarcasm comes through poorly on the ebays.

save the steagles said...

It was far too short! I wish they could have given him an extra 15 minutes or so, lord knows the bears needed it. Let's Go Crazy only lasted about a minute and a half, and there was no appearance of Kiss! I understand Little Red Corvette could be deemed "inappropriate", but Kiss? The FCC hasn't gotten that Puritan, have they?

Grimey said...

So far, the people who have officially stated they weren't impressed with the halftime show:

Peter King

Rick Reilly

Dan Patrick

The music reviewer at my office who doesn't really like music

My roommate who said he preferred the Paul McCartney halftime show (I will be locking my bedroom door from now on)

Seriously though, if that halftime show didn't blow your mind, what exactly are you looking for?

swing4 said...

Best comment of admiration overheard during half-time at the party I attended: "He's amazing! And, he's pulling that off in heels!"

The speaker was a man.

The Andre Waters Experience said...

Steagles: It's not the FCC that's gotten puritan. Rather, Prince himself now refrains from singing his more risque songs - a byproduct of his finding Jesus in a big way.

Which means no more "Alphabet Street," I guess. Too much innuendo. Alas.

The Andre Waters Experience said...

Here's what I was wondering: was the do-rag a reaction to the rain? Or just part of his ensemble to begin with? The dude has always been one for a lot of hair product... I'm guessing it was a precaution.

Mike said...

I'm guessing he may not have much hair to put product in at this point.

He's gotta be pushing 50.

Pemulis said...

"Here's what I was wondering: was the do-rag a reaction to the rain? Or just part of his ensemble to begin with? The dude has always been one for a lot of hair product... I'm guessing it was a precaution."

my girlfriend and i discussed this at length. and by discussed this at length i mean she explained it and i made stupid drunken jokes about it. she explained that his hair is naturally closer to that of a black person, so with it all straight and whitey-like he would wear the bandanna to keep it from turning to straw. like why a black woman with a weave wouldnt go swimming, etc etc. though i can imagine trying to play the guitar in the pouring rain... let alone spend more than half the time youre up there playing solos. but re the foo fighters, i dont care if they covered a prince song. the proper response would have been prince telling them to fuck off for being crappy. i wanted prince, not tina turner and dave grohl... though watch tower was pretty badass.

T. said...

I thought Salisbury would be the Meast of the Week for his GUARANDAMNTEE that if Hester took one back the Bears would 100% fa' sho' win...I cannot believe KSK did not seize this opportunity to pounce on the analyst hereinafter dubbed SexCannon Jr.

P.S. Check out our new blog at: www.adventuresofronmexico.blogspot.com

Barney said...

Mark,

Did you catch Favre being all poignant and shit at the end of that
Season closer NFL commercial? If he brings that intensity to Summer
stock productions, watch the fuck out!

NOBODY wants to talk about Prince at half time? That shit was
awesome. If that had been the Saints or the Raiders or Dallas there
would have been no second half. Prince would have just kept playing
and nobody would have minded. Hell, I wouldn't have minded. That
midget rocks.

And having his own personal Super-bowl bitches MIME the wardrobe
malfunction as part of the choreography was funny shit.

Prince brought that Purple Fuckin' Rain with him.

Somebody asked me at the party I was at why he didn't get
electrocuted. I told her, "bullshit, he's being electrocuted right the
fuck now. It just makes him play guitar better. He's motherfuckin'
PRINCE."

OK, now that I've got that off my chest I'm gonna go look at KSC - in
case great minds think alike.

- Barney

The Navigator said...

The first time I realized how nasty Prince was at guitar:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-qlU46ODlg&eurl=

Notice at the end he tosses his guitar in the air and it disappears, immediately ascending into heaven.

reppin671 said...

hey Pemulis, what Tina Turner song?

oh, you must mean "Proud Mary". It's a Creedence Clearwater Revival song. Get it right, douche.

oh, and Foo Fighters rule.

5150cd said...

God you guys are some bitter fucking bastards. Let it go. What do you do during the off-season? Rip out each others pubic hair, light it on fire, and savor the smell of burning crabs? Fuck.

josh said...

best Super Bowl halftime ever. even better than Up With People's sixth appearance.

dusty said...

Prince should be pushing that guitar up PK's rectum..wait..PK would enjoy that..never mind.

Proinsias Cassidy said...

Lurking for awhile.

All I could think about during Prince's fucking fantastic performance was that really lame Indiana Jones rip-off during the Steve Young ass rape of the Chargers. I do not know why.

Now it turns out I imagined it. Various searches have no record of that abortion ever taking place (the halftime show, IIRC). Does anyone else remember this thing?

Tube said...

Super Bowl XXIX, Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye.

http://www.superbowl.com/features/entertainment/halftime-honorroll

Proinsias Cassidy said...

Thanks for lookin' out, tube. Now if I can find video, I may end up cursing you

Laser Rocket Arm said...

Since I don't know any Foo Fighters songs, I was wondering what that song was. Prince is the shit and well deserving of the MOTW.

bleedjetgreen said...

Also from PK...

j. Saw one commercial -- the talking lions on the Taco Bell spot -- and thought it was brilliant.

So let me get this straight... he hated Prince's performance, but he loved a Taco Bell commercial with talking Lions imitating Ricardo Montalban. He then spends half his post-SB article talking about the HOF vote?!?! What an assclown...

Pemulis said...

"hey Pemulis, what Tina Turner song?

oh, you must mean "Proud Mary". It's a Creedence Clearwater Revival song. Get it right, douche.
"

so that black woman on stage singing it with him.. was that creedence or what? i dont know. sounded a lot more like a cover of the tina version than the creedence version, jerkoff.

DBDR said...

Three words for the Prince performance:

Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Best. Halftime. Ever.

If I'm ever in charge of the Super Bowl, if I can't get Prince to come back and perform, I'll get Nas to perform Halftime, during Halftime...but that's just me.

And yes, Prince doesn't do the "Darling Nikki" catalog anymore, thank (somebody's) God for Purple Rain on DVD.