Friday, February 2, 2007

KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pick Bukkake: Troy McClure!


The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Next up, previously seen movie star Troy McClure!

Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such Super Bowl Halftime Shows as "Down with People, Up with Fish!" and "There Are 100 Michael Jacksons!"

I'm here to talk with you today about the evolution of the Super Bowl Halftime Show and, in accordance with my plea bargain with Miami-Dade prosecutors and the Miami Seaquarium, provide you with my prediction for the game.

The first Super Bowl Halftime Show was held, surprisingly enough, in 1965, years before the first Super Bowl. Initially the term was used by authorities as a code for beating up Vietnam protesters.


Take that, Maynard G. Muskyvote!

As the years wore on and there was an occasion with which to match the show, the Super Bowl Halftime Show flourished. For example, at the interim of Super Bowl XII between Denver and Dallas, there was a 10-minute pause followed by a public service announcement, and then a second 10-minute pause. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Jimmy: Mr. McClure, how much time does it take to prepare a Super Bowl Halftime Show?

I'm glad you asked, Billy. I don't really have an answer for you, but your parents will be thrilled that you appeared in this post. I do know it's a painstaking process that involves consulting someone who hasn't listened to popular music in at least 15 years. That, and ignoring the FCC's demands that all women involved be dressed in burka.

Now, on to what we all came here for: hardcore nudity the pick! Super Bowl XLI pits the Indianapolis Colts against the Chicago Bears, a fierce battle between two dull, unappealing land-based creatures. I predict thrills, chills and spills. And maybe even krill, if there's a lucky whale hanging around.

Jimmy: Mr. McClure, I think they mean they want a score.

I'm going say the Bears in straight sets, 6-2, 6-1, 6-3.

Jimmy: They aren't playing tennis, Mr. McClure.

They sure aren't, Billy, they sure aren't.

Thanks, Troy. And we'd certainly be remiss if we didn't show the halftime show we'd all really like to see.



19 comments:

goto11 said...

Did you mean for Troy to call him "Billy"? That was the best part.

Otto Man said...

"Gay? I wish!"

$klimp$ said...

It's the part I was born to play, baby!

Chris said...

You might remember him from such public service videos as "Designated Drivers, the Lifesaving Nerds" and "Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness."

MDT said...

####, it's just the same five columns over and over again! Nobody wants to read another 10,000 words on star####ing in Boston, you #### ##### ###!

And furthe... um... wait. Is this Bill Simmons' page? Shit, I think I have the wrong number. Sorry guys.

Awful Chief said...

Well done, Ape. That clip is a close second to this one among my favorite works of troy mcclure.

warmsox said...

RIP Phil Hartman

I hope that crazy bitch burns.

Otto Man said...

I'm with you, Awful Chief.

Of course, I once had a fantasy team known as the Bovine University Longhorns.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

Brilliant Ape-....I laughed till I cried, two thumbs up and all that other bullshit.

My WV is nnnnub....that makes me giggle.

Tranny McHardpenis said...

Indian: Bears 96, Coltss 14.

Pilgrim: It's not gonna be that close!

Indian: That's the halftime score, my friend.

highonLowe said...

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

doug_plank said...

"Lead Paint...Tasty but Deadly."

The Pirate Sloth said...

I totally read that entire post with Phil's voice.

Otto Man said...

At this point, you're probably saying to yourself, "Troy, I know everything there is to know about the Super Bowl!"

Well, you've got some nerve, mister.

mikeski said...

Gladys, the Groovy Mule.

highonLowe said...

You probably recognize me from such motivational films as "Loose Weight by Smoking" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid"

J.L. White said...

I just want to know why Fluffy Bunny waited until after marriage to hit that sweet, sweet bunny tail.

Was it because Fluffy Bunny is Jewish?

anon said...

> Initially the term was used by authorities as a code for beating up Vietnam protestors.

Aye. 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in good fun.

the goat said...

Ha, ha, ha, that's so funny! Ha, ha, ha, I can't remember the last time I heard a funnier anecdote! Now you tell one.