This is Katie Couric. I fucking hate Katie Couric. I don’t know when this deathless monotone was labeled perky, but I can’t think of a worse descriptor. Katie Couric is as perky as I am classy. She exhibits all the warmth of a fucking emperor penguin. The mom in Ordinary People was more caring. I know trees that have more spontaneity.
If you plan on watching CBS’ Super Bowl pre-game telethon (and I do not), you better get used to seeing this vacuous harpy on your TV screen. That’s right, Couric has butted her way into CBS’ pre-game show in order to do a piece on Hines Ward returning to Korea with his mom. And nothing gets you psyched for this year’s Super Bowl like a story from last year’s Super Bowl. I can easily wait.
What Katie Couric needs is a good old-fashioned hate fucking. And I know exactly the man to give it to her. He’s the guy who managed to string together four consecutive decent passes in the NFC title game, a rare personal feat. He's this week's Meast. But, more importantly, he’s the guy that would shatter Katie Couric’s vertebrae driving her into the headboard. I think you know exactly who I’m talking about:
NOTE: Special thanks to Nick K for the t-shirt design. We will be coming up with our own very soon.