Tough guy Michael Strahan brings the crazy...

If you haven’t seen the clip of Michael Strahan responding to questions (and getting caught in a big-ass lie) about his comments to WFAN regarding Plaxico Burress, by all means do so now. It is transcendent comedy. Apparently, Strahan only suffers the media when they are fawning and obsequious, like when he set his bullshit sack record.

Where the hell does Strahan get off trying to tell Kelly Naqi how to ask a question? Naqi has been an ESPN reporter (a real journalist, not some sideline airhead—sorry Suzy) for 20 years, back when Strahan was an unknown kid on the Houston sandlots; his monumental gap still a mere crevice.

If Strahan has the nerve to tell a seasoned pro how to ask the questions, then I certainly have the nerve to tell him how to answer the questions. First, before proceeding with your nonsensical, meandering diatribe, please properly masticate that entire bagel you just stuffed into your enormous craw, you big fucking slob.

“Mr. Strahan, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Strahan’s original criticism of Burress was well-founded. Plax clearly quit on the play and did nothing to stop Adam “Loogie” Jones from intercepting the ball. Worse still, once the pass was intercepted his attempt to tackle Jones was half-assed, at best. Plax, to his credit, has been savvy enough to play the “poor, poor pitiful me” role during the ensuing chaos.

Strahan needs to either grow a pair and stand by his statements, or apologize for them. I’m not talking some bullshit, non-existent “team meeting” apology. I mean an apology delivered in the same medium in which the original statements occurred.

But instead of doing either of these, Strahan attempts, in vain, to flip it on Naqi. Bullying, browbeating and intimidation might be an effective communication tactic within Generalissimo Coughlin’s ranks, but that shit doesn’t fly in the real world. Naqi comes off looking like an unflappable pro, while Strahan reveals himself to be the most petulant, blustering moron on a team that includes Jeremy Shockey. And that, amigos, is quite an accomplishment.