Thursday, November 30, 2006

I'm Putting My Money on the Gap-Toothed Bagel Nosher in Jersey

Welcome to the 12th edition of our weekly feature, Always Be Covering. The following is a sample of the games that I find particularly intriguing.

Disclaimer
While I may appear startlingly brilliant (or possibly not) you must remember that this is a humor site. Gamble at your own peril you degenerate son of a bitch.

Good lord, the New York Giants of New Jersey are falling apart right before my eyes...and I couldn't be happier. As I hater of all things NFC East that don't incorporate the proud Injun logo nothing pleases me more than watching the collapse. The icing on the cake is the glut of douchenizzles (sic) occupying the field every Sunday.

Granted there are a lot of players that I hate (in fact hate is quite possibly my favorite word...after nosh) but combining the likes of Eli "More Archie than Peyton" Manning, Jeremy Shockey, Plaxico Burress, and Michael Strahan is just too much.

Strahan and his former teammate boyfriend Jason Sehorn,
he's smiling because he has a finger up Strahan's anus.

Now that the everybody has gotten to know the pugnacious bagel-chomping yenta for the crazy fucker that he is the picture is complete. With a coach who's always struck me as a closet necrophiliac I think the Giants team is finally ready to die. Which is why this week's primary pick is so damn easy.

The NY Giants of NJ +4
vs. The Tony Romo Experience

That's right bitch (no not you mom...go away...Because this is my basement!...is it weird that I read aloud while typing? I think somebody snuck some PCP in this peyote) I'm taking the Giants. Why? Because we're gambling on the NFL and I'M OUT OF FUCKING IDEAS! This shit doesn't make any sense and sometimes you just gotta say, what the fuck...

Yeah, I spend my winnings on high class whores...jealous?


Who do you like this week? We welcome you to share all of your ill-fated picks in the comment section.

***This is probably one of the last posts of "Giants Bashing Week" here at KSK...enjoy.

14 comments:

Big Daddy Drew said...

Best sex scene ever.

I have to go now.

Unsilent Majority said...

Strahan/Sehorn or Cruise/De Mornay?

Eric said...

5 Team Parlay

New Orleans Saints -7 vs. San Francisco 49ers
Atlanta Falcons +1½ vs. Washington Redskins
Kansas City Chiefs -6 vs. Cleveland Browns
San Diego Chargers -6½ vs. Buffalo Bills
Dallas Cowboys -4 vs. New York Giants


The Giants getting their shit together could fuck this all up

rsr26 (aka Johnny Utah) said...

Are you ready for me....Ralph?

don't over-think this game. Giants suck. Dallas will stomp a mudhole in them.

becky said...

gmen are out to ruin my life and my gpa. don't put money on them ever.

Unsilent Majority said...

If your GPA matches Jeremy Shockey's BAC you get automatic A's in all your classes.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Rebecca de Mornay. Goddamn.

8hrdrive said...

Rebecca de Morney is a hooker in every movie she's ever made. I like that. She's dirty. and naughty. and....oh yes!

She's hotter than donut grease.

dusty said...

"closet necrophiliac"--good one UM, touche'

cecil_espy said...

I'm tired of the gay athlete bashing on this site. I could be a Korean, gay, Mexican who watches the CW for all you know.

Unsilent Majority said...

cecil, as far as i'm concerned it's not gay bashing unless the guy is actually gay. i mock strahan because his own damn wife tried to out him during his divorce.

i love gay people, they're a clean and joy filled people.

BUT I DO HATE KOREAN/MEXICANS!!!

Signal to Noise said...

I hate to even think it, but has Tom Cruise's recent bat-shit-nuts behavior diminshed this movie slightly, despite the ever-present-hotness of De Mornay?

I have a hard time shaking this.

Skins (-1) on the Falcons -- Atlanta's corners can't cover lately and see their owner's comments about their wide receivers.
Seattle (+4) at Denver -- I hate betting against my team, but rookie QB's first start + recent malfunctions in the Shanahan Tailback Factory = Hawks cover.

wflcannon said...

STL -6.5 Ariz
NE -13.5 Det
Chi -9 My Vikes
NO -7 SF
NO -SF over 45.5
KC -5 Cle

ajsmith said...

OK, I'm on a one-week win streak, my longest of the season, so ingnore my scorching De Mornay-like hotness at your peril.

'Boys (-whateveryougottagive) over (my) Giants. This is the "take one for the team and get the lunatic coach fired" pick of the year.

KC (-5) over Cleveland. The Browns look finished, and even epic clock-mismanagement by Herm "king of the uncalled timeout" Edwards shouldn't matter here.

Jets (E) over GB - Brett Farve is going to keep his games-played streak going this week even though he can't feel anything below his elbow. F*%K the team, I'm goin' to Canton, boys!

Broncos (-4) over Seattle - How much you wanna bet that the Denver O-line suddenly remembers how to run-block now that they don't have to worry that every time they end up in a passing situation they're 50-50 to watch Plummer throw it to the wrong guy. Fans go nuts for Cutler, Broncs' Defense stop covering their eyes when the offense is on the field, Drop-back play-action back into the game-plan. Broncos win 26-13.