The NFL preseason is nigh! And while the NFL preseason blows, it sure beats the fuck out of baseball. We'll also get a sneak preview of NBC's brand new Sunday Night coverage. Dick Ebersol, pick your theme music wisely! Theme music is half the battle. FOX has been milking "Sleigh Ride" for 10 years now. And CBS has that dogshit new music with the raps that were clearly written by a white person to open their games. Last time NBC had the NFL, you used a score by Randy Newman. Never do that again, or I'll fucking kill you.
To celebrate the opening of another illustrious NFL television season, we bring you a brand new contributor: Christmas Ape! Yes, Christmas Ape has a long, distinguished career in journalism. He was a beat reporter for Velvet magazine, executive editor for Town & Country, and once published a newsletter that concentrated strictly on collecting antique railroad timetables. Now that's diverse interests! What a guy!
So welcome Ape to the KSK family, won't you? He's the Makeout King of Montana!