Wednesday, August 16, 2006

BREAKING: Has Aaron Rogers Put Down the Clipboard for Good?

"Krusty, why now? Why not 20 years ago?"


From Pro Football Talk (KSK's emphasis added):

The early indications based on our discussions with league sources are that Favre will announce his retirement from the NFL at a Wednesday press conference [scheduled for 12:30 p.m. ET]... here's what we know -- a response from one member of the organization to a direct question regarding whether Favre is calling it quits today did not have the "No way in hell!" or "I'm looking into this right now!" quality that would be expected upon hearing that The Franchise is walking away in the middle of training camp.
Oh man, this could totally fuck up Peter King's fantasy league.

Phew, with the Peter King joke out of the way, I can rest easy. I'm not going to make a hurricane joke, I'm not going to make a painkiller joke, I'm not going to make a "Brett Favre just loves to play football!" joke. After the five-month "Will he or won't he?" cocktease that nobody cared about but was relentlessly jammed down our throats by the media, I, for one, refuse to give a shit.

But hear this now: If the rumor is true, and the Legendary Brett Favre repays his offensive line's recent incompetence by hanging the Packers out to dry in the middle of the preseason, check back here tomorrow for what we expect to be the single greatest thing Big Daddy Drew has ever written.

UPDATE: Motherfucker. Apparently it's just a standard media something-or-other. Damn you, Brett Favre! Shit or get off the pot, man! When will this nightmarish media merry-go-round end???


UPDATE from Drew: Fuck you, PFT. You West Virginia cockteases. This is not the morning you want to fuck with me. I hope Koren Robinson dates your daughters.

20 comments:

Wayne Frazer said...

Brett Favre has shown poor judgement and an inability to make a ratrional decision during this past five months.

In other words, it's been like watching him play quarterback for the past few seasons.

I have enjoyed Favre's career and his personality, but if he decides to step away and leave the Packers in the lurch two weeks into the preseason, he's a tool.

Unsilent Majority said...

praise the lord.

way to put the pressure on drew

doug_plank said...

This just in-
Brett Farve still is an asshole.

Unsilent Majority said...

fuckitall

flubby said...

This is not the greatest thing drew has ever written.
This is just a tribute.

A.R.P. said...

Who else will chase the single game interception record? Or yield quality fake sacks? Maybe Kurt Warner and his Jesus should have a talk with him. Washed up is only a label.

lopey said...

PFFFFFFFFFT should never be trusted. When will you learn!?

Otto Man said...

If Farve retires, who is John Madden going to fellate all season long? Christ, the man's got to burn off those turducken calories somehow!

Son of Brasky said...

Koren Robinson, new national spokesman for 'BAD IDEA JEANS' jean co.

Beban said...

Gunslingers have been known to lie. And abuse demerol.

Beban said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Drizztdj said...

Why can't Koren just run over Favre after a nine Cosmo bender and end two problems at once.

BigRicks said...

I am picturing UM and BDD sitting together, watching clips of Clinton Portis, Sean Taylor, Chad Greenway and Koren Robinson and taking a shot for each week the player on their team will be out until they both eventually break down and sob uncontrollably to one another.

Unsilent Majority said...

Sean Taylor isn't hurt, if you even suggest that again i'll be on you like a pit bull...shawn springs is another story entirely...hello mike rumph!

JoSCh said...

Hey Captain Caveman, your good buddy Peter King wrote about the Seahawks. And about the food at their training camp. Just thought you should know.

Linkage here


Brett Fav-ruh continues to be a tool. Why is anyone surprised. I hope when he retires he plays minor league baseball.

Johnny Cakes but not gay said...

I hope Favre never retires, cause then we'll have to hear nothing but stories about him thinking about a comeback. You know I'm right.

Marino to the Vikings, anyone?

Johnny Cakes but not gay said...

P.S. the highlight of Peter King's Seahawks piece has to be "Holmgren loves a big target at tight end."

Captain Caveman said...

As much as I'm frustrated by Peter King, when he gets down to business, he might be the best football writer in the country. That Seahawks camp postcard had more insight than anything I've read about the team so far this preseason... and yet most of it came after he graded the cafeteria.

/bangs head on desk repeatedly

Mike Honcho said...

Sooo...everyone gets their NFL rumors from a guy who doesnt even have a pro football team in his entire state? This intra-net is the tool of the devil I tell's ya!

Son of Brasky said...

Well played, BigRicks.