Thursday, August 31, 2006

Time to Feel Better About Yourself, Unless You're a Browns Fan

I... I just... Nothing. I got nothing.

You think you have the world figured out: Packers fans are the most frighteningly passionate, Redskins fans have the smallest amount of self-awareness, Bengals fans are the most hopeless, Steelers fans are the dumbest... Then a single Browns fan by the name of Denny Blaze -- I'm assuming that's his stage name -- goes and does something like this, and everything you thought you knew turns out to be wrong.



I try not to be too preachy, but when you make Kevin Federline look like a hip, well-spoken, legitimate musician, it's probably time to kill yourself.

(Thanks, and blame, goes to Norv's Feb for the tip.)

37 comments:

Basshole said...

"Now, don't touch the mike, cause it'll make pops."

Nice. When are people going to learn to stop making "songs" for their teams?

Nowitzness said...

That's the "Average Homeboy." Here's his demo tape, where he shows of his skills in basketball but reminds us he won't play until he gets his favorite breakfast:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7ngh3AuGgw

Big Daddy Drew said...

"Forget About Me"? How very apt.

flubby said...

I'm just glad Denny Blaze finally cleared up the confusion as to whether or not he is a "hardcore gangster." Music scholars have been debating this issue for years.

Monday Morning Punter said...

"Go for the bomb!"

Success.

cfpack03 said...

everyone here is now dumber for having read this post. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Unsilent Majority said...

the preseason is fun

carlton s. fuckface said...

Yall crzy danny blaze rulz man u go dawg

jobber said...

The scariest part of that video is the girl (maybe) at 25 seconds in dressed in black who looks exactly like Steve Stifler.

Christmas Ape said...

If only there were more than seven Seahawk fans, we could make sweeping generalizations about them.

Big Jim Slade said...

Will that replace the "M*A*S*H" theme as the Browns fight song?

Stefen Djordevic said...

That's not fair Ape, I counted 12 of them at the Super Bowl and I'm sure 20 or more watching at home.

Coop 2.0 said...

They just did a big story on this guy recently in the Cleveland Free Times.

I think he's a the poor man's Snow.

irishcharlie said...

I told everyone that that rap would lead to the fall of western civilization, but no one listened.

I hope you are all happy now.

Anonymous said...

They just did a big story on this guy recently in the Cleveland Free Times.

Was it part of a series about local retarded kids?

swing4 said...

*sigh*

Ohio.

Roy Hobbs said...

Beautiful response, Ape. By the way, Cavey used me in his latest AOL post:

http://nfl.aolsportsblog.com/2006/08/31/qwest-field-security-in-dire-need-of-reform-before-final-preseas/

Captain Caveman said...

I have no defense against Seattle fans' reputation, or lack thereof. All I can do is go on the offensive.

Look, there's a mountain in our skyline! Our city is better! Who needs a Super Bowl ring?

Anonymous said...

Dig on this, Kolber Kissers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOOv6mZ7-wQ

Anonymous said...

psssst....mountain in the skyline??? Who the hell cares. Seattle is not the best city, you happen to be living in it now.

Anonymous said...

white people scare me

Unsilent Majority said...

i'm with anon

Unsilent Majority said...

12:51

J.J. Gittes said...

Was that an autographed photo of the Hoff on his wall? So, like, he's got that going for him, right?

Blaze on!

Rob I said...

This is part of the new Christopher Guest film, right?

LeRoyButler36 said...

Y'all just haters yo.

Combat Chuck said...

Yet another reason why Cleveland Sucks.

Son of Brasky said...

At least his mom loves him... I think.

paulcicero said...

While most people bash this song, "I like to be on a positive tip". With that being said, at least it was only 1:52 long.

Anonymous said...

I'm a Steeler fan and I passed Calculus 2 in college!

WHO'S DUMB NOW FOOL!?!?!??!?

Spectacular Sam said...

That's a pretty big trailer home.

Red Line said...

Will that replace the "M*A*S*H" theme as the Browns fight song?
Truer words.

I'm pretty ashamed to be a Browns fan at the moment. Not the level of shame that comes from being born in Ohio, but ashamed nonetheless.

For other Ohio residents: My friends made a documentary about Browns fans, and not only did Michael Stanley sit for several interviews, he contributed a couple of songs to the soundtrack. And Charlie Frye's family bought about five copies of the DVD. My friend was so proud.

Mike said...

It took me hours and hours to come up with this two sentence comment:

Danny Blaze is BETTER than Kevin Federline. Barely.

A.R.P. said...

Yeah, at least the Underwear Mishaps don't have a dead tree crew. That's still shaking my confidence in my washington fanbase bredren.

Anonymous said...

her name is the bone lady...

Metamorphosis of Life said...

Michael Stanley...gimme a break. I remember hearing him on WNCX once. He said something like the following, "The WNCX and this is Michael Stanley. Be sure to catch the Michael Stanley band this weekend at Nautica. Coming up next, the Michael Stanley Band." He sucks.

Yeah...it sucks being a Browns fan.

Chamomiles Davis said...

What I fear most -- other than carnie folk -- is that this debut will lead inevitably to a Tupac-vs-Biggie-style rivalry between Denny Blaze and Lil Ronnie. This could escalate to proportions never before seen in the Great Lakes region.

Remember, There ain't no party like Midwest party 'cause a Midwest party don't start.