Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Meastiest Hits You'll See All Day

There's no real point to this post, other than to push Brett Favre's stupid mug further down the page and away from our memory.

Courtesy of YouTube, we have a history of the NFL's most vicious hits, many of them stemming back to the olden days back when men were men, sedans guzzled gas, and the NFL didn't have any pussy rules against spearing or helmet-to-helmet hits. You know, the game was so much better before the League pretended to care about the long-term health of its players/started paying star quarterbacks more than public school teachers/adopted the forward pass. Because if former players who have become commentators have taught me anything, it's that the past is always better.



Personally, I like how this clip is set to the dulcet tones of Prodigy. You just know that after a big hit, Sean Taylor tells opponents, "I am the fire starter!" He's not kidding, either. Before every home game he drives up to Baltimore and sets a warehouse on fire. And he doesn't care who's inside.

23 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

earl campbell was the baddest mother fucker on the planet

A.R.P. said...

He makes a mean sausage too. It's available at your local H-E-B and Austin Bergstrom International Airport.

My fave was the Don Beebe head bounce. Mmm, the taste of concussion.

TheBigO said...

I can't see it at work, do they have the Ken Hamlin (Seahawks)hit on Donte Stallworth (Saints) from about 3yrs ago?? That one was nasty.

Anonymous said...

Dont fuck with the Soul Patrol.

Beban said...

The clip is quite measty, but proves that every highlight clip is infinitely better when muted. Nice synthesizer.

A.R.P. said...

I had it going to The Clash's cover of Booker T & the MG's Time is Tight. Very classy.

irishcharlie said...

Am I the only one who noticed Bill Cowher checking out Earl Holmes' ass at the 1:24 mark? What was that about?

And why is it on this video?

irishcharlie said...

Oh, and I beg to differ. Ronnie Lott was the baddest motherfucker on the planet. Last I heard, Earl Campbell still has all his fingers.

Anonymous said...

I hardly think this video can be said to contain the NFL's greatest hits when it does not include Tatum-Stingley.

Or Taylor-Theisman for that matter.

combat chuck said...

You know, it's those pussy rules that allow Brett Favre to still consider playing for another season. Without them, his career would have ended years ago after some unspeakably violent sack. Which would have been my preference.

Unsilent Majority said...

two ronnie lotts couldn't bring down earl

Beban said...

Muhammed Ali, in his prime, was much better than anti-lock brakes.

Anonymous said...

I still love the Tatum hit on Sammy White...people screaming that his head popped off.

Great stuff.

Anonymous said...

Anytime I see old, archived footage of a #58 Steelers jsersey sprinting towards a QB...well, I pee a little.

And yes, Earl Campbell's sausage is made mostly from old AFC defensive backs.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, the sweetness that is Leonard Marshall ending the 49ers QB controversy. I (heart) the '90 Giants.

Anonymous said...

They didn't have the Hamlin hit, but they did show Steve Largent laying out Mike Harden.

Anonymous said...

Re: Baddest muthafucker on the planet:

I believe that award goes to Mike "Reattach the tip of my finger at halftime after it was ripped off in the face mask of some Viking so I can play the second half" Singletary.

Rich Uncle Skeleton said...

Excellent Danny-Boy.

CU Buffs said...

All i know is that Steve Atwater busting the Nigerian Nightmare backwards is fucking awesome.

cfpack03 said...

This video pales in comparison to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.

TheBigO said...

Chuck Norris was Bruce Lee's bitch. Chuck Norris is a fag. Sorry, I laugh with glee when Bruce kicks the shit out of his sllllooooooowwwww ass at the end of Return of the Dragon. Oh yeah, the Colts suck, Peyton Manning is the Chuck Norris of the NFL.

Cheech Marino said...

Hearing Sean Taylor refer to himself as the fire starter is about as likely as Spanky-Janky dropping Eagle Eye Cherry lyrics on us. What a hilariously dated suggestion.

Coke-y Monster Kevin Stevens said...

Bill Cowher may have made the cut because he ended the career of Jeff Fisher with one hit.