Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Pre-Game Playlist Fit For A F--king Badass


My junior year of college our football team went 3-5. I certainly bear no responsibility for that record. I was the fourth string left tackle for the scout team. Third string was a large sack of flour.

But I do know the real culprit: music. This was 1996, full bore into the neutering of rock. Before games, our locker room blasted a mix of one third Alanis Morrisette, one third Hootie, and one third Dishwalla. Or some other horrid shit. There were times I had to listen to Jagged Little Pill and/or Cracked Rear View IN THEIR ENTIRETY prior to a practice or a game. And you know what songs my team played on the locker room stereo when we won? One of them was "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something. The other one was "Send Me On My Way" by Rusted Root. That's right. The fucking Ice Age song. One time a friend and I tried putting a Faith No More CD into the player. It was ejected two minutes later.

This was bullshit. BULLSHIT. I get fucking pissed about to this very day. That is not football music. It's pussy music. Unacceptable. Fucking Unamerican. And these days, it's only gotten worse. One guy I met once said he didn't like seeing the band Idlewild play in concert because they were "a little too hard rocking". Excuse me? Too fucking hard rocking? Die.

That's why I, Big Daddy Drew, have taken upon myself to institute a mandatory pre-game playlist for all NFL locker rooms (and channel Maddox in the process). That's right. Ten songs, all guaranteed to bend you over and shove a stick of dynamite up your butt. I don't care if you like this music or not. If you don't like it, go write for fucking Pitchfork and have fun with the rest of your Animal Collective-loving dipshit breathren. This is FOOTBALL music, music designed to put you into a state of murderous rage and use up 80% of your energy before the game is even played. That's what real fucking football is all about. All these songs adhere to my DFF Principle, which states that a song cannot be considered rocking unless it's about Drinking, Fighting, or Fucking. Let's go:


1. "Enter Sandman" (Live) - Metallica - Live Shit: Binge & Purge
This song is just fine off the Black Album. But you know what's better? When it's being played in front of 100,000 drunken Mexicans, and includes the intro theme music from "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly" that drives said Mexicans completely batshit. Crucial here is James Hetfield changing the lyric, "I tuck you in," to, "I fuck you in." Because nothing fires you up for a football game like the implicit threat of child rape. Also important is the moment right after Hetfield whispers the Lord's Prayer or whatever the fuck it is, when the crowd explodes into the chorus along with the band. Just thinking about it makes me want to put on a helmet and start bashing into things. That was always my favorite part of pre-game warm-ups.

2. "Creeping Death" (Live) - Metallica - Live Shit: Binge & Purge
And then I get even more fucking fired up when, right off of "Sandman," Hetfield screams to the crowd, "Fuck yeah, we're ready! You ready, my friends? Creeeeeping DEATH-AHHHHHHH!!!!!!" And then the drums comes in and everyone goes apeshit yet again. This song is most notable for the bridge, where Hetfield goads everyone into chanting "Die! Die! Die!" and then bassist Jason Newsted chimes in with "MOTHERFUCKER, DIE!!!!!" That is fucking awesome. My eyes turn beet red when that happens, and everything in my line of vision vaporizes into very fine dust. NOTE: Metallica died in 1990. Just so you know my stance.


3. "Whole Lotta Rosie" - AC/DC - Let There Be Rock
Every college coach tells you that victory is the main goal. Total bullshit. Victory is simply the means to achieve your real goal of getting ass-loaded and scoring some major league poon tang later that night. I know that's all I thought about (the latter never happened). That's why a five-minute, solo-laden rampage about banging fat girls will fire up any football player, even ones like myself who had no hope of scoring with anything other than microwaved nectarine. Maybe you think "Hell's Bells" or "Thunderstruck" would be better choices from the AC/DC collection. But I'm more of a Bon Scott man. Bon Scott drank himself to death. Brian Johnson wears a golf hat. Advantage: Scott.


4. "You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like A Millionaire" - Queens of the Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
This song got Queens of the Stone Age bassist Nick Olivieri so fucking fired up, his clothes melted right off of his body. He was also later booted from the group for beating his girlfriend, possibly while naked. What I like is the low key intro that suddenly shifts into Olivieri screaming, "DUT LO!!! THE LIEFFEL LAHH!!!!! ONLY BASTAGE DID TASTE THE GAHHHH!!!" I know those aren't the actual lyrics, but I like mine better, because I like the idea of being so fucking jazzed to go out and murder someone that you can't even speak proper English. There's also a false ending to this song, which then kicks back in with Olivieri going, "UNNNHHHH!!!!" and then kicking more ass. Suck on that, Rusted Root. And suck it hard.


5. "The Trooper" - Iron Maiden - Piece of Mind
Written exclusively about Kellen Winslow (or British soldiers during World War I, I'm not sure which), this is a crowning achievement in 1980's British Metal asskicking. During concerts, Bruce Dickinson of Maiden would unfurl a big fucking Union Jack while singing this song and wave it around on the stage. I'm not even British and that makes me want to machine gun down any piece of shit Flemish person that I encounter. Hey, Chester Bennington of Linkin Park: This is Bruce Dickinson. This is how you sing like a fucking Rock God. Take notes, and then slash your wrists. Pussy. Football is for killers!


6. "Tilted" - Sugar - Beaster
I don't care that you've never heard of this song, or this band, or this album. All you need to know is that this song will beat you to death with a lead pipe. It also contains the single greatest guitar solo ever recorded. Great guitar solos must do three things: 1) Be short, 2) Establish their own melody, and 3) Give you a raging hardon. Done, done and done.


7. Last Two Minutes of "Paradise City" - Guns N Roses - Appetite for Destruction
I don't need all of this song. Just give me the end, where Axl makes you think the song is finished by going, "Take me hoooooooooooooooooooooome!" but then suddenly the rest of the band flies back in to lose their fucking minds and play their instruments as fast as humanly possible. For a visual cue, I offer you the video. The awesome part that kills your brain cells is the when they shift almost entirely to the black-and-white footage at Donnington. A couple people got stomped to death by the crowd during this Guns set, and that is fucking sweet. Bonus points if you're rocking the white bicycle shorts.


8. "Fire Woman" - The Cult - Sonic Temple
There's no better song out there about a woman making you so horny you completely lose your shit. And that's what football is really all about: expending the energy accumulated through years and years of sexual frustration. Am I right, fellas? Fellas? Anyway, this is good place for this quote:

"Now when I listen to a really good song, I start nodding my head, like I'm saying 'yeeess' to every beat. Yes, Yes, Yes! This rocks! And then sometimes I switch it up like, No, No, No! Don't stop-a-rockin'!"


9. "Killing in the Name" - Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine
I don't even like Rage Against the Machine all that much. But can you argue with this song? No, you cannot. A friend of mine in high school told me about a kid he knew whose dad once coached on an Indian Reservation. One year, the coach took the Indian kids to the state title game. For his pre-game speech, the coach opened the doors to the locker room and pointed at the all-white opposing team and crowd out on the field. "Boys," the coach said, "those are the people that stole your land." The Indian Reservation team won by 50 points. Now, I don't believe that story for a second. But who fucking cares? It's awesome anyway. Oh, and one more thing:

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me! (x11)
Motherfucker!
Uggh!


Good song.


10. "Moonshadow" - Cat Stevens - Greatest Hits
And here's your cool down period. Your palate cleanser, if you will. And, honestly, I can think of no music that pisses me off more than some dipshit Cat Stevens song.

That's the list. I'm fucking red in the face just typing about it. Imagine the damage you'll do on the field after taking this much riffage stright up your yingyang. Remember, this playlist is in the public domain now. So don't be surprised if every team in the league goes 16-0 this year.

NOTE: Rock is for pre-game. Hip hop is for post-game mellowing and/or getting fired up for your drunkon. I will post an all hip-hop post-game list later on sometime if I feel like it.

And yes, I like new music, too. If this list is a little old school for your taste, substitute in "Club Foot" by Kasabian and "From The Ritz To The Rubble" by Arctic Monkeys. They are mildly acceptable. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.


NOTE FROM DREW: The flame war below was removed by CC. But I happily encourage comments from any disgruntled readers. I promise they will not be deleted, largely because I enjoy them so much. PS - I'm never writing a music post again ever ever ever.

91 comments:

A.R.P. said...

My hot pre-game sex tape would have to include Ace of Spades (Motorhead), Supertouch/Shitfit (Bad Brains), Locomotive (GNR) and Rocket Queen (GNR) as the palate cleanser.

If my team were to lose they would have to listen to the live version of Maggot Brain (Funkadelic) and The Definitive Box Set (Yoko Ono) through Saturday.

Visiting locker rooms get Anything By (Rush).

Way to bring up some serious crap BTW. Dishwalla, Deep Blue Something... gold. What about The Refreshments? Or Aqua? Or 7 Mary 3? Or Semisonic? It keeps going like this...

Monday Morning Punter said...

She ain't exactly pretty
(badada bada badamm)

She ain't exactly small
(badada bada badamm)

42-39-56, YOU COULD SAY SHE'S GOT IT ALLLLLLLLLLL....

I love that fucking song..

40 below said...

Great list. Might I also add in Voices by Disturbed?

The Last Unitard said...

1000 Kudos for Tilted. I would reach back further into the Bob Mould catalog for a Hüsker Dü song from 1982 called Punch Drunk. It's a 30 second blast of insanity. Never fails to make me want to hurt things and people.

combat chuck said...

Allow me to apologize in advance for mentioning soccer on KSK, but here's my story.

My senior year of high school I played varsity soccer, and one game the douchebags from the visiting team showed up at our field blasting Enter Sandman on a boombox.

We kicked their asses.

combat chuck said...

...oh, but I still like that song anyway.

BigTDog said...

We used to have music during our warmups for basketball games.

Thunderstruck, followed by Welcome to the Jungle, with a Welcome to the Terrordome chaser. Now that was a rush!

flubby said...

Mark Farner's wild, shirtless lyrics, the bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher, the competent drum work of Don Brewer!

The Last Unitard said...

Any one of tracks 1-9 of the Minor Threat Complete Discography CD.

"Rise Above" by Black Flag off the Damaged LP. Inspirational and really pissed.

"Black Tie Knife Fight" by Drowningman off the Rock N' Roll Killing Machine EP.

"Death and Destruction (and Don't Forget the Chaos" by the Exploited off the Let's Start a War LP.

I could go on forever. This is my favorite topic ever.

op said...

that pitchfork comment was priceless.

Anonymous said...

"The Devil Made me do it" by Paris (a militant rapper whose anger management skills make Chuck D look like a prozac-addict). Nothing like discussing killing the white devil to a positively FILTHY base line.

Landru said...

Dear Mr. Big Daddy Drew, Sir,

It frightens me that we live in the same media market.

A lot.

Respectfully,
Landru

mrmom61 said...

I am also a Bon Scott man. If you want blood you got it.

Otto Man said...

Your team seriously listened to Deep Blue Nothing's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" to get you fired up?

Wow. Interesting choice, Felicity.

TheBigO said...

Thanks for the pic, that's what the fuck I'm talkin about. Hamlin just seperated that cat from the ball, his helmet, and his facilities.

Hoyt Pollard said...

Unchained by the mighty Van Halen.

Anonymous said...

gonu"Wish" by Nine Inch Nails. That song will make you shit your pants and punch your mother in mouth.

Thrillhous said...

Yes, yes, and yes (not the group). There's some seriously pansy-ass shit out there, and what isn't played pregame gets played during half time. Janet Jackson? Paul McCartney? Next year it'll be Hooray for Everyone.

One addition: "Fucking Hostile" by Pantera. Even the album cover is salubrious.

Awful Chief said...

Before hockey games I used to blast TV2 by Ministry. That song is fucking steroids for your meast.

Unsilent Majority said...

i'm willing to admit that i do not understand white metal.
then again i think crunk sucks balls.
bring on the Talib!

TheBigO said...

Oh, I'm not a huge Crunk fan either, but if you need to get pumped for football L'il john has lots of songs for ya. I'm all about the conscious rap, Talib, Dead Prez, Immortal Technique, Ras Kass, etc. But the discussion was getting all pumped up and fuckin crazy in preparation for a football game. Young black kids don't listen to death metal, for the most part, there's allways exceptions to the rule.

A.R.P. said...

A little Eric B. & Rakim, Gang Starr, perhaps some BN. Hip Hop Hilarious.

The Last Unitard said...

KRS-One still plays small clubs, and those crunky retards make millions.

Dear general public: you are a sucker if you buy a Lil John record. Please stop. It's like paying someone to make you dumber.

BigTDog said...

Can we all agree on Body Count?

goto11 said...

Thrillhous beat me to it. "Fucking Hostile" is the balls.

Also, "Tilted"? "JC Auto" is a much better selection from Beaster. What could get you more jacked up for kicking someone's ass than screaming "I'm your Jesus Christ!"?

The Last Unitard said...

Fuck Ice-T. Give me Gravediggaz, Onyx, Geto Boyz, GZA, Raekwon.

Big Daddy Drew said...

goto11, I'd just put the entire Beaster album on the list if I could. But for the sake of comedy, I had to pick one.

JC Auto is the tits.

Unsilent Majority said...

you guys are all crazy, the only music worth a damn comes straight outta locash

Dalla said...

"The Beautiful People"
- Paul Pfiffer aka Marilyn Manson
done and done

Web said...

Can't believe RATM fell that low.

Metallica can suck my balls.

Every time I hear a metallica song (albeit they are good kick ass songs) I feel like I need to be shoving money in an envelope and mailing it to them.

They burned a bridge after suing their fans because of MP3 mis-use.

Fuck them.

Anonymous said...

You know what's funny? How little you fuckers know about good music. Seriously, Gun 'n Roses? Metallica? Queens of the Fucking Stone Age? I am shocked some dumbass didn't trumpet his love for Motley Crue and Kid Rock.

My IQ dropped 20 points reading through that shitty list. Not even the inclusion of AC/DC and Sugar could save it.

Anonymous said...

I used to listening to Rollins Band prior to wrestling matches. And, yes, listening to those songs to this day fills my nostrils with Meast.

goto11 said...

> I'd just put the entire Beaster album on the list if I could (except for "Walking Away").

There, I fixed it for you.

BigO: Ever heard a blonde, white California girl do a cover of Straight Outta Compton?
Straight Outta Compton -- acoustic

Anonymous said...

"Used to listen to". Crap. I hate that.

flubby said...

Why all the hate? This shit will all get hashed once the season starts.

Week 1 Match-ups:
Ygwie Malmsteen & Rising Force v. Li'l Flip

Black Oak Arkansas v. That Retard Cowboy Troy

Nashville Pussy v. Fishbone

Anonymous said...

"The Trooper" - good choice, although Bruce Dickenson (yes, thee Bruce Dickenson) once mentioned it needed more cowbell.

-This post has been removed by some pompous fuqtard-

Anonymous said...

Anything by REM would be awsome.

-this post won't be deleted due to it being so gay-

Anonymous said...

V for Vendetta is coming for the facist blog administrator. Remember, remember, the 24th of August........

TheBigO said...

DAMN, if you click on the Hamlin/Stallworth pic and enlarge it, it looks like Stallworths fuckin eye is out and just kinda flailing around, sweet.

cfpack03 said...

I agree, Rage didn't get enough love on the list. And I'm glad to see someone reference the Gravediggaz. Its not fight music but its fucking great music.
The Rage/Wu-Tang tour was the greatest of all time, and that's a scientific fact.

Rob I said...

"Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House

BillyPaultzRules said...

Great list; despite what a couple of fuck-faces say.

I saw Sugar in 1994, in a local club. Loudest show I have ever been to. No wonder Bob Mould is deaf.

Personally, I always listened to side A of Led Zeppelin I and Led Zeppelin II, but tastes may vary.

yosh said...

This post leads the league in homoerotic undertones. But hey, that's metal for you.

t-bone said...

Bon Scott era AC/DC: Night Prowler.
"...and you won't feel the steel
till it's hanging out your back..."

worldcupfever said...

Second the kudos for "Tilted". The Husker Du cover of "8 Miles High" would work well too. And anything by Planes Mistaken for Stars.

A.R.P. said...

I think good jamz are lost on our National Football Leaguers... Aren't most football players extremely homophobic, into Jesus, and really the opposite of cool? That said, nothing makes me want to sodomize an opponent in the name of the saviour Lord Jesus Christ more than DC Talk's 3rd album.

Craig said...

Strange to see Sugar on a list surrounded by crap Guns n' Roses and Metallica. That may be the first and last time.

The first commenter had it right - "Ace of Spades", the baddest-assed hard rock song ever. You can view it ironically, or completely straight, but it'll always kick you in the teeth and call you a Mary.

Franklin Comes Alive! said...

A couple of slight modifications to some earlier suggestion...

Pantera - Fuckin' Hostile is good, but I've always been partial to Mouth For War, a real kick in the ass way to start that album.

Iron Maiden - The Trooper is cool, but for me, the most balls-out Iron Maiden song has to be Aces High. Lightning-fast, killer intro riff, and shooting down Nazis has to get you pumped up, right?

Otto Man said...

I saw Sugar in 1994, in a local club. Loudest show I have ever been to. No wonder Bob Mould is deaf.

I caught that show. Phenomenal. And thanks for the tinnitis, Bob!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, a metal list to pump you up before the big game and not a single Slayer or Pantera reference?

I'd add any fast Bad Brains song or half the songs off of the first Suicidal Tendencies album before Queens of the Stone Age.

Good call on the Rage. On the Metallica front, I'd go with Damage, Inc.

RoyHaygood said...

Props for Tilted. 'I only do these things to freak you out' aptly describes the actions of my ex wife.

Just remember....it's tilted.

worldcupfever said...

Leatherface would work well too.

4th&26 said...

Good, I see Norv's feb covered the glaring omission of Motorhead. I'm going to get old school on the Maiden- I'm thinking Paul D'anno era Wrathchild or Ides of March. Rocks much harder than any Bruce Dickinson shite and will cause your foes to void their bowels in fear.

Oh, and the Replacements Unsatisfied is depressingly perfect after the game if you've lost.

All in all, you got a great line-up.
cheers,

Johnny said...

Sepultura

The Last Unitard said...

Bob can still hear, and he still plays very loud. Unfortunately, more often than not these days he's playing some fru-fru techno.

MDT said...

I was always a "turn Smells Like Teen Spirit up to about 12-and-a-half" guy before games. (My track team was also big into I Alone, though I can't explain it.)

If I had to do it all over again in THIS decade, though, I'm not sure. I'd probably go with Orbit's XLR8R. Or yeah, Arctic Monkeys.

TheBigO said...

Man, it's like big hair and spandex day at KSK huh?

AcilletaM said...

Yeah, I can't believe Pantera is not on the list. Usually 'Walk' is ranked somewhere. And you should have 'Ace of Spades' on there. Metallica? I'm partial to 'Breadfan' or 'Blitzkrieg', 'Enter Sandman' is overplayed. Slayer scares the children and the timid so it might not be a good choice. People shouting along to 'Antisocial' from Anthrax.

I'm not sure if I'm surprised that Lamb of God, Mudvayne, Slipknot, or Killswitch Engage have not been mentioned yet. No love for the new skool.

Cody said...

Some more to consider:
Alice in Chains - Man in a Box
Metallica - One
Ice Cube - First Day of School from the Predator
The Number of the Beast - Iron Maiden
Protect Ya Neck - Wu Tang

A.R.P. said...

Baha Men - WHo Let the DOgs out?
Los Del Rio - Macarena
2Unlimited - Ready for this song?
Haddaway - Where do you go?

the george said...

if you really want to get a bunch of over-testosteroned homophobes worked up, play some 'i want it that way' by the backstreet boys. that will really get them into a murderous rage and ready to play some football. YOU ARE MY FIRE, BITCH! either that or they'll just start having sex with each other.

Boston Chef said...

Testify woulda been a better RATM call, in my opinion!

And I'm pretty sure that Josh sings on Feel like a Millionaire - not Nick.

Big Jim Slade said...

Ditto the lack of Slayer and Pantera. Seriously, Kyle Turley would like to have a word with all of you. Keep in mind, he only knows several...

Ben said...

That sounds a lot like my high school lockerroom. For the first three years it was AC/DC Live and Metallica's Black Album. That was it. Once in a while someone would throw in some White Zombie or Rage but otherwise it was those same two fucking albums.

By the time we were seniors we banned them. But, as sick as we were of those we still wouldn't have played the crap you guys did.

diegoz said...

Ace of Spades is the shit

There's also "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" by Drowning Pool and "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta" by the Geto Boyz as your walking out the tunnel. Either song would do well.

Kickers get PoonTang said...

College lockeroom pregame was always, without miss, music from the Hunt for Red October because no one could agree on what rocked. Some guys wanted hardcore rap, others wanted Metallica.
As the punter I'd listen to Phish, but I guess that's expected

Mark said...

Good stuff. Also:
War Pigs- Sabbath
Bleed American- Jimmy Eat World
Time's Up- Living Colour

Sam said...

I'm thinking "New Noise" by Refused. In Friday Night Lights, when Permian High walks into the Astrodome, they're blasting that. It's totally fucking cathartic when the dude yells "Can I scream?"

Brilliant thread idea.

CU Buffs said...

Jimmy Eat World couldn't pump up Jose Canseco in the middle of sticking a syringe in his ass.

Anonymous said...

Davidian by MachineHead. Had a buddy in Iraq who would blast the song in Baghdad over the PA system, everybody would go apeshit when the line "let freedom ring with a shotgun blast" was played.

Big Thunder said...

One by Metallica. Also, some Alice in Chains...

Unsilent Majority said...

commenting records at deadspin and ksk are shattered in the same day...that's nuts

Panger said...

wanna rip off your shirt in a roidlike rage? put your fist through the 42" plasma? maybe enjoy a pre-game aneurysm?

then go with hemophiliac with mike patton and john zorn.

Jacques Bauer said...

"Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)"--well maybe the dirt cheap doesnt apply, but its a great song

Unsilent Majority said...

i know this is a hard rock oriented post (i think we've covered that) but I can't sit idly by and let the name DMX go unmentioned.

Anonymous said...

I don't listen to much metal, but some up-tempo/intense stuff from this decade (definitely agree on Clubfoot):

First Wave Intact or The Road Leads Where It's Lead (Secret Machines)

Four Kicks (Kings of Leon)

Sinkhole or Lookout Mountain (Drive-By Truckers)

Black Shuck (The Darkness-I know they're love or hate, but 'that dog don't give a fuck' is a great refrain)

I Predict a Riot (Kaiser Chiefs)

The Widow (Mars Volta)

Anonymous said...

Before hockey games it's Pornstar Champion by Scum of the Earth with Fire Woman to get me in that ass-kicking mood. The crescendo buildup in Fire Woman is the greatest motivator to go out and lay a beat down on someone.

Of course, I choose Fuel by Metallica when I want to go on an all-out ass-kicking spree...

Backstop said...

Just before going on the field (baseball) we used to play You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry...that's the song they play during the dance contest from Pulp Fiction. I could never understand that....and then a couple years later they switched it to How far 'till Heaven by Los Lonely Boys...small wonder we won any games at all....tried some Rammstein on them once, but that lasted all of 30 seconds before being tossed...

Anonymous said...

Books Lie - Less Than Fresh
Probably some Planes Mistaken for Stars, I'd listen to Pennywise - Fuck Authority but there might be something better, and admit it, the Hell March from Command and Conquer would get you pumped up.

A.R.P. said...

Glavin! Price is Right theme song into Who's The Boss theme song into Magnum PI theme song.

Ted Striker said...

Good call on Refused. Basically that whole Shape of Punk to Come album is the balls.

For more modern stuff, I'd throw on Assasin from the new Muse record. "Time to shoot your leaders down."

Tranny McHardpenis said...

I understand there are probably at least 1000 songs that very strong arguements could be made for and that arguing for or against one is stupid but.....If you're including just pieces of songs, even from albums you've mentioned. I'd have to go with the part just after and including(up to and including(>=)) "Come On" in the opening of Rage's "Wake Up" or the last minute where Zack DLR is screaming "Wake Up!!!!" Or the opening 30 and final 60 seconds of "Freedom." And there is no moment in rock history where awesomeness is more universally anticipated (percentagewise) than Guns Live at the Ritz 1988 when Axl tells some story about a homeless black dude then screeches "Welcome to the Jungle Ritz!" Kudos on that QOTSA song, only thing in my collection that gets me just about as fired up to swing and miss on fat chicks as coming out of that pause in "Millionaire" is coming out of the middle of "Jungle" when Axl yells "You know where you are? You in the jungle baby. You're gonna dieeee!!!" And of course, the opener should really be Madonna's "Holiday." Very testosterone driven. In the immortal words of James Taylor, "Anger is a gift."

Funny thing is that Cat Stevens is most definitely the most dangerous of all these guys, considering there's a 50% he's made his own martyr video. What a dick.

Anonymous said...

James Taylor is a fag.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

My list for pregame would have to be all of the speed metal or punk rock variety for the most part:

Metallica - Master of Puppets (any post-1990 Metallica sucks)

Slayer - War Ensemble (It's Slayer... nuff said)

Rage - Bombtrack (Since it's the first song on their first album... is it the first Rage song ever?)

Pennywise - Fight til You Die (c'mon, how can you deny a song named that?!)

Black Flag - Rise Above (listening to Rollins scream "We're born with a chance, and now I'm gonna have my chance!!" can fire up my dead gramma!)

Sick of it All (pretty much anything by them will do)

Pantera - Cowboys from Hell (Phil Anselmo grunting "We're taking over this town" can make any dude feel like a badass.)

Minor Threat - Filler (Who cares what the song's about? Ian Mackayes pure rage is enough to work anyone into a lathery FURY!)

Anthrax or S.O.D. - I Want Some Milk (Hey, a song about flying into a rage when you wake up and there's no milk is a good choice! I mean, who doesn't get pissed when they wake up starving, pour a bowl of cereal, and there's not even a swallow of motherfucking milk left?!?!?! Just the thought of it makes me want rip an opposing player's head off!)

Ice Cube - When Will They Shoot (The only hip hop song on the list. Cube sounds SUPER pissed on this track from "The Predator")


For after the game, probably some hip hop at first to wind down. No gangsta or crunk shit, but the old school, more bohemian type shit like A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, or Brand Nubian.

Then maybe something festive, yet rocking, like Lagwagon, Dropkick Murphys, or the Bouncing Souls to party with after the victory! And of course, some David Lee Roth era Van Halen is always good to party to as well.

Anonymous said...

cool list, especially with the Sugar tune on there--also cool to see that so many commenters here know them.

Bob Mould/Husker Du/Sugar make all of today's "punk" bands sound like American Idol contestants.

--M.

James Zimmerman said...

Took out the Faith No More CD! I have no more faith, in human intelligence.

Great post though.

Anonymous said...

Wolfmother.

The Sword.

Opeth.

darthmoridin said...

Great post. Love the inclusion of Ian and Billy.

Anonymous said...

I once attended a basketball game at a Christian school where "Jesus Freak" by DC Talk was played during warm-ups. I kid you not.

thee trouthole said...

great frigging call on "new noise" by the refused... may i offer "ready to fight" by the almost-homicidal Negative Approach?

thee
www.asshookedwhitey.blogspot.com

Fork said...

Forget about sports..."Ace Of Spades" is what you play before you invade Czechoslovakia.