Monday, July 2, 2007

Who wants to hear Mike Tice sing?

Nothing smacks of self-indulgent off-season laziness like a YouTube post. But this week, we lack the energy for even a half-assed YouTube search. It’s much easier to post YouTube videos that readers send in to us.

This gem is from rakish gadabout Seth Kolloen from Enjoy the Enjoyment. Feast your eyes on this 1985 Seattle Seahawks’ music video featuring lead vocals from linebacker (and non-thriller) Michael Jackson, who is backed up by the future unfrozen caveman football coach... Mike Tice.

Truthfully, we are more than a little skeeved out by numerous elements of this video, not the least of which are Jackson’s nuthugger shorts and the sax solo in the shower. For a few moments, I thought it might go right into gay porn. Enjoy, kids…


Could this actually be worse than the Glasgow Diamonds' video?


27 comments:

Otto Man said...

Man, Mike Tice can move! I haven't seen arrhythmic jerking like that since "Night of the Living Dead."

With inspiration like that, it's not surprising that the Seahawks went an impressive 8-8 that year to finish 3rd in the AFC West.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Did they pay the writers of "Yakkity Yak" any royalties for this?

Raskolnikov said...

Seattle is Planet Unicorn Unicorn Planet! Give it up for Michael Jackson, ooooooh Mike Tice, and Daaaaavve Krieeegggg!

My Hero Zero said...

This video has inspired me to get off my ass and finish that Brian's Song: The Musical script I've been working on.

Burnsy said...

Nothing is better than the phantom sax in the Glasgow Diamonds' video. Even this. And that's almost impossible.

Weed Against Speed said...

my hero zero: Based upon that video, Mike Tice has been selected to portray Herman in The Munsters: The Musical. Fred Gwynne is rolling in his grave.

BeaverFever said...

wrong on so many levels. the wacky sound when they spike the football and the fiesty old grandma getting psyched up around the 1:30 mark of the video. it was like watching the glasgow diamonds video, except with real football players (white and black guys).

Shan said...

god damn i wish i could have been a seahawks fan in '85.

Josh Drimmer said...

guys, I've just got to warn you who I think of when I think of lazily posting youtube videos other people send you. bill simmons. I'm not accusing, I'm just saying.


--http://vaughnsbar.blogspot.com

Tracer Bullet said...

The afros. The "dancing." The sax "player" who never moved his fingers. The lame country/blues-by-way-of-Casio music. That was truly, truly awful. I wish I knew some Seahawk fans I could torture with this.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

I was there. Yeah, it was called the '80s. Ford was President, Nixon was in the White House and FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bummin' in a hole-in-a-wall town in what is now called Utah. Some fella from Colorado shows up, starts making so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets are running with latte'. It got so bad that a fella that liked to, you know... smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster, maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, was "uncouth, against God." More like bad real estate values. So we had to go!

David said...

I fail to understand the 80's. How on earth does any guy, anywhere, ever, get asked to do this and not think: "Boy, I will look like a child molesting fuckface if I do this?" How?!

It's like "It was the 80's" is the "It was the 60's," only used to explain ridiculous creepiness instead of acid flashbacks.

TurleyGirlie said...

Damn...I watched it with the sound off and it was STILL gay and horrifying.

Shame on you, Mike Tice.

Burnsy said...

I've watched this thing six times. Each time my co-workers think it's a gay porn loading in the beginning. I retract my earlier statement. This beats the Glasgow video.

BeaverFever said...

knock this video all we want, you have to admit they don't make bad team promotion music videos like they use to.

Alejandro said...

So, wait. We're dissapointed that it didn't turn to gay porn, right?

Illegal Immigrant said...

What the Seahawks need is for that old lady to go topless and lead them gloriously into battle.

The Pirate Sloth said...

That almost makes me ashamed that I'm a Seahawks fan.

But then I remember that I grew up in Dallas and was a Cowboys fan and realize that it can never be as bad as that.

But it was tremendously ambiguously gay. Kind of like David-Bowie's-package in those pants in Labyrinth gay.

albaNY Hawker said...

Personally, I blame the Bears and the Super Bowl Shuffle!

Eagles ROCK! Admit it you know they do. said...

Please tell me someone shot the director of that video. We all know the seahawks in it died a gruesome death, but did the person who came up with the concept get punished? Let's hopes so. This is one of the many reasons the seahawks will never be better than the eagles.

zigga plz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zigga plz said...

That beginning of that shower sequence was like something out of one of my 'oh fuck I broke the law and now I'm going to prision where I'll surely be assraped' nightmares.

SOMEONE WAKE ME UP.




(this vid was SO gay, even the word verf. picked it up on radar.

auth word: sprmzila)

liquid_d said...

This was so gay,the only position missing from the credits was "fluffer"

Seth said...

The sax soloist--or the guy impersonating a sax soloist--is longtime Hawks OL Edwin Bailey. In the "director's cut" version he's not wearing a towel.

Rick Muscles said...

i prefer glasgow diamonds just for the lazy writing, "....football.......it's a game"

devang said...

What's next, an "I am the Walrus" video featuring Holmgren?

Jackin'4Beats said...

Kevin Eubanks wants his sax solo back.

Maaaaan, that was extemely gay. It's no wonder why I've never been to Seattle. I think I saw CC in that locker room doing the Elaine dance.