Saturday, July 14, 2007

Meet Cody Paul

He used to be a good kid, that Cody Paul. Always did his chores and his homework; you didn't even have to ask him. What a nice young man, the neighbors would say, and Cody Paul's parents would just smile to each other and say, "That's our boy!"

But then something wonderful happened. Cody's Pop Warner team went to Nationals in Orlando and kid just fucking destroyed everybody. Now he's skipping his spelling tests, calling his mom a ho, and banging junior high school girls in his team's motel on road trips. And his room? Why, it's just a pigsty!

Just watch the video.

Thanks to Fanhouse via The Big Lead via The Commission via Annah @ Canesport.com via the genius that cut this and put it on the net.

49 comments:

SportsGirl365 said...

I'll bet Cody knows the Contra cheat code.

Unsilent Majority said...

"white running backs are the way of the future"

for the record...that's a joke. i don't want to encourage any of our skinhead friends to come back around here.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Aw, shit.

I remember reading about that whole thing with GGS in the email threads when I got back. I wasn't here, people, so excuse me for not properly acknowledging the racially-based tension in our tubes right now.

Kyle said...

No. 32 on the green-and-gold team...considering yourself SHOOK!

Oh, and don't let anyone from Rivals.com get their mitts on this video. Coverage of 13 year olds has already started to make its way into basketball, we don't need that in football.

larry burns said...

why of course he wears reggie bush's number.

Otto Man said...

I don't see what the big deal is. I could outrun a bunch of nine-year-olds too. Probably.

But just to be safe, I'm drafting this kid in my keeper league.

JAMMQ said...

This is like a warm-up for all the drunk posts we're going to get during the footbsll season?

That's just Suzy Kolber delicious.

nerditry said...

That kids better than every back we've had at UCF since I showed up in town.

devang said...

Wait what? I've never seen a KSK post on a Saturday. What's up MMP, just you and Jean Grey chowing down on cat food?

This kid is the shit though. I'll bet NOIS will claim that this kid's got a little bit of the chosen people's blood in him.

DougOLis said...

click CLACK

tryrugby said...

When did Barry Sanders have time to have a white kid? I'm guessing that is what early retirement gets you...

(and yes... like above.. a joke..or attempt thereof)

Monday Morning Punter said...

What's up MMP, just you and Jean Grey chowing down on cat food?

...Dammit, devang. I expected more from you.

Patrick said...

Paul? More like Ezor. I'm calling for a paternity test.

Raskolnikov said...

i don't want to encourage any of our skinhead friends to come back around here.

Hello, Prussian Blue? Uh, the KSK concert's off.

Jamie said...

Just wait till he hits high school, discovers weed, beer and chinese food and gains 100lbs.

tryrugby said...

Just wait till he hits high school, discovers weed, beer and chinese food and gains 100lbs.

Then he becomes the white Randy Moss, right? (well minus a few moving violations and a faux-mooning at Lambeau -- but if he plays his cards right.....)

Big Daddy Drew said...

Get that boy some construda.

Mike said...

The opposition seemed pretty lilyish as well. When did Florida start the All-Caucasion Pop Warner tourney?

Can the NWFL be far behind?

devang said...

...Dammit, devang. I expected more from you.

Yeah I know. Sangria, beer, scotch, and Applebees nachos can dull pretty much all my senses. I was lucky to be able to focus on my laptop keys.

Otto Man said...

Applebee's nachos?

Don't cry for Devang. He's already dead.

Rick Muscles said...

I bet he's 12 to 13. The sad thing is I ran that offense when I was in High School. Those little kids run it pretty well, some of those of those plays are blocked correctly. On a non nerd note, that kid is fantastic. New life plan- seduce Mrs. Paul and become that kid's agent.

Jay Byers said...

I'll bet Cody knows the Contra cheat code.

If he's got anything he's got the Gradius cheat code going. Shields, otherfucker!

devang said...

I bet when he takes off his helmet he looks like Georghe Muresan.

tryrugby said...

He is Bo Jackson... and he is living in his Tecmo world..

(props to Simmons for creative use of his constant reference to that particular fact)

rar288 said...

Thankyou MMP, thankyou so much for showing me this fantastic video. *tear*

Cody Paul make it rain on dem hoes!!! This guy is SO the Sex Cannon of the future. Except he's a running back... maybe Sex Crossbow... or something.

jaquan said...

Unfeatured yet excellent #20 is the Turner to Cody's Tomlinson.

Jay Byers said...

#20 did have that one fucker of a block. He's Cody's Lorenzo Neal more than anything.

Michael said...

He's the white Ron Mexico, minus the quarterbacking abilities.



Oh, wait....

swing4 said...

I'm betting that kid's home state is Texas. Just a guess.

Also, what a delightlfully lyrically varied song.

Jon said...

Just watch the kid grow up to be 5'6" though and never be able to play even high school running back.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Studies show that after a running back gets 300+ touches in a season, he goes downhill and can't produce the following season.

Paul's fucked.

Wormfather said...

The only draw back is that I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head all day.

I make it rain, make it rain, make it rain on dem hoes

Aw fuck, who am I kidding, there is no drawbacks to that video. Cheers.

Wormfather said...

are*

Sid said...

my only complaint was when he handed off to 20 and didn't block anyone.

Sid said...

"Rick Muscles said...

I bet he's 12 to 13. "


He's actually 13 or 14 now. The vid was taken when he was 12.

Cody Paul makes it rain on dem hos.

fallex said...

...eatin' good/
had to shoot my way up out of Applebee's

Jackin'4Beats said...

Get that boy some construda

And some sizzurp to wash it all down.

Just in case you were wondering, companies have actually begun marketing this to O.S. (Original Stunnaz) like Cody Paul - minus the cough syrup and promethazine - of course ;-).

wv: oiqiksk (really)

Jewbot said...

Cody Paul bangs high school hos, not junor high hos. Don't underestimate the C-Dog.

B said...

The internet is a terrible thing in the wrong hands...

From the coaches mouth himself ----

"Cody is NOT 8 years old, he is 13 years old. The film fottage you’re watching is from our season last year (when he was 12years). They are of our first Regional game agaiinst Valencia Park (San Diego, CA); and our 2 Pop Warner Superbowl games vs Holliston Panthers (Red and white) and the San Marin Colts (Green and Yellow). We won all three of those games to go 15-0 and become the 2006 Pop Warner National Champions D-2 PEE WEE level (Warner Bracket).

The coaching he received and the players surrounding him were just as great. The prior 2 years, Cody played for another team, along with #20 that first year, and they amassed only 2 touchdowns in those years. The offensive line in front of him were outsized all year, and yet they were able to open up holes that a Mac-truck could go thru untouched. They were, and are, ALL awesome.

In closing please, know that Cody was a part of a GREAT team that did amazing things (last year was our second trip to Florida (back to Back) to coompete for the national Championship). All the players and their families made the coaching experience beyond phenominal. I am pleased, to know and have worked with them all. I do sincerely hope that this serves to clear up any misconceptions about Cody and the rest of 2006 Los Alamitos PEE WEE GRIFFINS!

SIncerely,

Christopher Austin"

Bill Fitzgerald said...

He gave each of his linemen a diamond-encrusted Nintendo DS at the team banquet.

gerry dorsey said...

nick saban just text messaged cody.

Jackin'4Beats said...

@ b

Does this look like USA Today? We don't care about the truth here. It's all about exaggeration, hyperbole and hyping the individual just to team him down during his weakest moment. Haven't you learned anything from watching ESPN and reading the Sports Guy?

And Cody was clearly the best athlete on the field and will probably be better than LaDanian Tomlinson in 10 years. As a matter of fact, his teammates are blessed to have him running the ball 30 times a game. FIXED.

Sid said...

b:

I beat ya to it! :D

Jarrett Carter said...

Cody Paul is who we thought he was, and we let him off the hook.

Now if you wanna crown his ass, then go ahead and crown him!

rar288 said...

I guess my "Sex Crossbow" nickname for Cody wasn't very well received. Whatever. I thought it was fucking awesome.

richardlaura_haley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
richardlaura_haley said...

See cody paul i would see that hes like 6 years old but hes 13 and umm he's a pretty football playa but he needs to learn to use his left hand if he gets that down he'll be the best player in the state

Valery said...

I love football!And Cody is my dream man no matter how he's playing now...

said...

all this crap that your saying about cody.... is shit. i know him personally and he is the sweetest boy ever.