Monday, July 9, 2007

Turns Out, Gatorade Was In You All Along


Here’s Bear Grylls drinking his own pee. What I like is that, not only does he drink his own pee, but that he stores his pee away and takes frequent sips.

Now, before some of you dipshit commenters out there decide to play Mr. Know-it-all and say, “Hey, it’s all for show! He’s got a camera crew! The guys who wrote this show don't know squat. Itchy should have tied Scratchy's tongue with a taut-line hitch, not a sheetbend,” please know that I do not care about your criticisms. I am a Bear Grylls fan in the same way that Claymates are Clay Aiken fans. Bear can do no wrong. And if Bear says drinking your own discharge is the way to go, then I’mma start licking urinals clean.

51 comments:

(Five One Eight) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
(Five One Eight) said...

Don't drink it because Bear does. Drink it because it's sterile, and you like the taste.

Unsilent Majority said...

Drew was recently arrested for attempting to drink Bear's urine.

Captain Caveman said...

"It' warm, and it's salty."

Drew would happily swallow a warm, salty offering from Bear.

Jason said...

I thought I'd be quick with the Dodgeball reference... nice work, (518).

Drew just wants to help Bear shake out the last drop.

forward said...

Why go through the trouble of the canteen? I drink it straight from the tap.

SportsGirl365 said...

You know, I may be wrong but I think, I THINK, I saw something similar on an episode of Jackass once.

BeaverFever said...

@CC,"Drew would happily swallow a warm, salty offering from Bear."

i knew a few girls that liked to swallow warm, salty offerings. not to mention the protein intake they received.

Sean said...

It still tastes better than Vegemite.

Jason said...

@sean- you fucking pervert!

You ate vegemite?

My Hero Zero said...

Drink my own urine? Like I want to taste an even more watered-down 12 pack of Pabst.

No, if I'm drinking pee, it's going to be Barry Bonds' waste water combined with that of Floyd Landis. Oh yeah, that's the good stuff.

swing4 said...

Am I the only one who sees a Saturday Night Live sketch in the making every time this show airs?

JAMMQ said...

And millions of women breathe a sigh of relief to know that the Golden Showers they recieved from their ex-boyfriends weren't hazardous.

JAMMQ said...

And, in the tradition of Sara the Cum Dumpster, we here at KSK now introduce you to Bear Grylls, urine repository.


Still . . . this dipshit commenter thinks that shit was disgusting.

Sean said...

@jason -

Well, I was traveling in a fried-out combie on a hippie trail, head full of zombie... still, that doesn't make it right.

Raskolnikov said...

Drew, don't go to New Zealand.

MDT said...

I saw this Saturday night as well and all I could think of was that he does this more frequently than we expect.

"Hi, this is Bear Grylls on "Man Vs. Restaurant". Our server has not shown up for over TEN MINUTES. We may have to resort to extreme measures."

John S. said...

Dipshit commenter here...

You can drink your own urine, but, it only works for one or two days.

You can not do this for any extended period of time or the build up of uric acid will start to effect your ability to think and move. However, you will simply run out of liquid urine before it can really hurt you. (Eventually, the water content of what you are drinking will become less and less with each "drink" and subsequent "filtration") and you won't pee anymore.

I know that there are these people who claim that drinking their own urine is the key to immortality and such, but, my survival instructor made it crystal clear that you DO NOT drink your own urine.

Even in a desert survival situation, there are so many ways to get clean water that drinking your own urine is just plain dumb as too much uric acid in your blood has some serious side effects including, but not limited to, impaired ability to control one's body and, at extreme levels, renal failure.

My Insignificant Life said...

If you add some Tequila and Lime to the salty taste, you'd really be set.

Jason said...

Remember, kids, don't drink your own urine. Drink someone else's urine instead.

Bloof said...

Why lick the urinals when you can suck on Ufford's bedsheets?

J.L. White said...

Yuck! Drinking your own pee is disgusting. Who wants to swallow a warm, watered-down reminder of what you were drinking the night before? At least when you eat poop, it always tastes like shit.

devang said...

Nah, i couldn't drink my own piss. I have, however, eaten food that's been cooked over dried cowpie when I visited some remote villages in India.

Peter McSheisty said...

Got urine?

The Pirate Sloth said...

Urinade is thirst aid! For that deep down body thirst!

Greg Schuler said...

All I can hope is that people that watch Grylls' show actually go out and do what he suggests. That would thin the herd a bit and freshen up the gene pool.

Who the fuck names their kid Marmaduke? A Limey bundle of sticks - that's who...no offense to sticks and twigs intended.

flubby said...

if someone needs the commenters at KSK to tell them not to drink piss, they're probably too far gone already

Awful Chief said...

uric acid...more like urine-ic acid!

My Insignificant Life said...

Urine - Does a body good

Pemulis said...

this video should have been labeled NSFW... because it gave me an insanely large boner when i watched it.

Ricky said...

The number one threat to America: Bear Grylls.

liquid_d said...

john s and greg schuler: didn't you read the post? SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLES!. Damn, ever douchebag that graduated basic training or has read a survival manual does not need to tell us that Bear is wrong. You are just expressing some pent-up homo jealousy rage issues.

christopher said...

Man vs Wild show script:

1. Warn people not to do something and then show how its done "if you had to"

2. Have Bear eat or drink something disgusting at least once in the show, more than once is even better

3. Oh no, something didn't work out like it should have and Bear is in danger, cut to commercial.

4. Have Bear use the proper English pronunciation of items: "glassier" - glacier so he appears more foreign.

5. Tell at least five stories of people that got lost, fell or were just plain dumbarses and how it took them either days to be found or they died.

Bloof said...

I'm thinking Bear drinks his own piss because that the closest he'll ever get to sucking his own cock.

WORD VERIFICATION: algglzlj
1. The sound BDD made when he took a drink from the tap.

grungedave said...

drank his own urine? I guess the only other option was Mountain Dew - and in that case, I think he made the correct decision.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...
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Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

I can't wait until we get to drink our own excellence for a week!

John S. said...

@liquid_d - calm down.

I have done a little more than "graduate basic" and read FM 21-76 once or twice.

If you actually read what I wrote, I did not jump up and down and exclaim "DON'T DO IT!!!!11ONE!!ELEVEN!!!!11"

Rather, I simply commented on what he did and added a little extra extrapolation for good measure. Sorry if I did not simply post "OMG!! Bear Grylls is da bomb" and go on my merry, but deluded, way.

Now, please, go drink a gallon of your own piss and tell me how you feel afterward.

liquid_d said...

john,
thanks for the advice, but all my piss is saved up for your mom tonight.

Awful Chief said...

"Roy, can you get sick drinking piss?"
"I think you can."
"Even if it's your own?"

John S. said...

My Mom?

Wait a minute.... are you suggesting that you and my mother are having relations of a quasi-sexual nature and you are meeting her this evening? Could it be true?

I should call her and find out....

...

...Well, my mother has denied any relations with you. I suppose I can either believe her or question her veracity and conclude that she is, in fact, going to be engaging in some sort of activity involving your urine this evening.

My oh my... what a quandry I am in!

I am truly beside myself with anxiety, consternation and Oedipal curiosity.

BeaverFever said...

fight, fight, fight ! i go away for 3.5 hours and this what happens ?

goofing on people's mom's is not cool, less cool if they are dead.

The Kid said...

@john s
i dont know what consternation or oepidal mean. can we direct this back to dick jokes?

Weed Against Speed said...

@the kid: I'm not the sharpest bulb in the drawer but I think consternation are groups of stars in the sky and oedipal has something to do with bicycles.

The Kid said...

@weed against speed
you're prolly right about the bicycles, but i looked up consternation and thats when you have a hard time "poppin' a squat"

devang said...

@the kid: I'm not the sharpest bulb in the drawer but I think consternation are groups of stars in the sky and oedipal has something to do with bicycles.

That was just fucking brilliant!!

devang said...

but i looked up consternation and thats when you have a hard time "poppin' a squat"

Wow, just wow.

John S. said...

yeah... I have to say that those posts were very well done.

C-lo said...

Did no one else notice how the canteen started extremely close to his body and then he realized he better move it further down to make it seem like he had more to offer? Or was I the only one trying to catch a peek at Bear's junk?

rar288 said...

Maybe Bear just doesn't sweat alot, because he sure didn't look like he was about to die from dehydration when he peed in that bottle... or when he kept drinking it later.

Steve said...

Vick wears a big watch apparently

[21:14] friend: so i got home today from ft lauderdale
[21:14] friend: mike vick was on the plane
[21:16] friend: flyin first class airtran lol
[21:17] me: hahaha
[21:17] me: did you ask if you could bet $50 on Fluffy?
[21:18] friend: THAT would have been HILARIOUS
[21:18] friend: naw i just said whats up man when i walked by
[21:18] friend: he was clearly fucked up and just said chillin
[21:18] me: hahahha srsly was he high?
[21:18] friend: hardly anyone noticed him tho or said anything
[21:19] me: Did he have a ginormous water bottle with him?
[21:19] friend: who knows...
[21:19] me: say... one with a removable bottom?
[21:19] friend: naw he did have a GINORMOUS fucking watch tho
[21:19] friend: that shit was BAAAAAALIN