Friday, July 13, 2007

This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft – Video Games You Would Choose In A One-On-One Duel Against An Advanced Alien Species For The Fate Of Mankind


I don’t have much time to play videogames anymore, which pains me greatly. They’ve gotten cooler as my adult responsibilities have increased, and that’s not fair. But I’ll have the last laugh. One day, I’ll be retired, Mrs. Drew will have grown to ignore me completely, and then I can play all the WiiStation I want. Fuck yeah, retirement!

Anyway, allow me to outline a scenario for you. Kang and Kodos, shown above, have decided to colonize Earth. But first, they want to test the human species. You know, to make sure they aren’t intelligent enough to resist intergalactic slavery. So they pick you (yes, you!) out of a crowd and challenge you to the videogame of your choice. If you defeat Kang, you will have proved yourself worthy of alliance, and not slavery. If you lose, we then we’re all fucked, thank you very much.

So you better choose a game you excel at, motherfucker.

The rules. Pick one game, then wait until 10 other have selected to choose another. You can pick any game, console or arcade. Different years of Madden and what not are acceptable. No cheat codes. This is a one-on-one battle, so if you choose a game that doesn’t feature one-on-one play, we’ll go by high score or who can advance to the highest level. Let us also assume that Kang and/or Kodos are well-versed in video games and have watched them being played from afar. Even with tentacles, they are still quite dexterous with a control pad.

My pick is EA Bill Walsh College Football ’95.


I’ll skip the easy Tecmo Bowl pick and go for the one game that made it even easier to accumulate yards and points on 500 consecutive sweeps. I’ll be playing with Michigan and running triple option with Tyrone Wheatley. Sometimes I will go right. Sometimes I will go left. I tell you, Kodos won’t be able to keep up. One time, I scored 100 points in a half. And that makes me awesome!

Other KSK staff have jumped in and made their picks before you as well. Sorry, they got dibs.

Ape: Goldeneye

Maj: Virtua Tennis (Dreamcast or arcade). I could serve and volley that alien bastard to death with Philippoussis, outrun him with Johansson, or punish him with Yevgeny's backhand.

Punter: I'm taking Contra for NES. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Start.

Your turn. Remember: Our lives are in your hands, dude.

367 comments:

Ken Dynamo said...

mutant league hockey baby. sega genesis.

Daniel said...

Robotron 2084. I'll take those invaders in their own milieu and roll that sumbitch. Mess with the Last Human Family at your own descretion.

HoneyNut said...

I'll go with Ironman Ivan Stewart's Super Off Road. Preferably the arcade version, with the four steering wheels that were too close to each other, so that you wouond up with three broken ribs from the kid who took it waaaay too seriously with the red truck.

K-Rock said...

NHL 95 for sega genesis. the start of good hockey games

Big Daddy Drew said...

Super Off Road is a GREAT pick.

jawpri said...

Intellivision Classic Baseball
(c. 1978)

Old school the way our forefathers would've wanted it. No fly balls. Runs after the third out still count. P & SS making 90% of the plays.
Note to Aliens – don't embarrass yourself by showing up with the overlays.

You vill luze.

Shan said...

timekillers, arcade style bitch.

Unsilent Majority said...

k-rock- NHL '96 was my backup. I fucking loved that year.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Twisted Metal 2 on the PSOne. The fate of earth would be safe.

DeMoose said...

John Elway Football for the NES. After I ran the Reverse play, with the one receiver that's 140x as fast as everyone else on the field, they'd be floored and would immediately welcome their new human overlords.

Hats For Bats said...

Major League Baseball 1991 for the Game Gear.

With a lineup of Otis Nixon, Rickey Henderson, and other speedsters, and a little timing, you could trick the outfielders into making every single an inside-the-park home run.

Plus, NO WAY has Kodos played Game Gear before. He wasn't cool like me in '91.

John John The Bastard said...

Knockout Kings 2002 - As long as I get to fight as Zab Judah.

Calvin's got a job said...

Mario Kart for N64... i can't be touched in that shit

John S. said...

Tempest

I know I am going REALLY old school here, but, there is NO WAY Kang can beat me at tempest with a tentacle.

Seriously guys... you have to give more thought to your picks.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Okay, Now I'll take Super tecmo bowl.

Brad said...

Joe Montana's Football 94 .. either be the lions and pound barry sanders or be the eagles and randall cunningham just happens to have ridiculous speed.. sneak left.. sneak right

Big Daddy Drew said...

I fucking loved Tempest.

Hooray, dials!

Skin Patrol said...

I would say Smash Brothers but then someone would say they're better than me, and I'd have to kill their parents.

Ninja Gaiden 2, first one to finish the game wins. Not only would I finish in style by doing flips with my yellow ghost ninjas after I beat the final boss, I'd be dry-humping Irene before they made it through The Maze of Darkness. So long, Aliens.

Shan said...

Unreal tournament 2003, PC. Ever seen a shock rifle take a head off from the other side of a map?

K-Rock said...

I'm going with Madden 2005 and i'm gonna be the Vikings. I'll run PA Streaks every fuckin time and toss the long ball to randy ratio. i'll be as untouchable as elliot ness

Peter McSheisty said...

Im going to have to go New School and say Halo 2.

Best.Multiplayer.Ever.

MicroscopicElvis said...

I select a computerized version of what earthlings refer to as table tennis, with our crude paddles replaced with electronic replicas

fallex said...

Baseball Stars. Bow to the Ninja Blacksox!

Permanent4 said...

Galaga. Challenge me, and I will own you and the entire fucking galaxy in Galaga.

Seriously, just bring it, bitches.

the butler said...

EA Sports Bulls vs. Lakers (early '90's).

Tom Chambers double-pump dunk from the three-point line.

Hats For Bats said...

Super Mario 3.

Not because I'm exceptionally good at it... but because the end of the world would come with me finally living out my "the Wizard" fantasy.

fallex said...

@perm4. Vick wants some. Galaga, I heard, is his bitch.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Time to take Mario Golf for N64. Golden Mario can drive the ball like a motherfucker.

Ghost of Carl Monday said...

Super Quarterback Club '96 for SNES

Steve Young to Jerry Rice over-and-over-and-over-and-over again.

John S. said...

Next pick...

PC version of Ghost Recon (original).

No way any alien can match my skills with a fire team plus one sniper.

Moreover, I still retain the advantage over tentacles by virtue of the mouse interface.

Unsilent Majority said...

ouch. i lost joe montana football and knockout kings (w/ zab!)

I'll take Fight Night Round 3 (with Chico).

John John The Bastard said...

NFL Blitz any year

Unsilent Majority said...


Tom Chambers double-pump dunk from the three-point line.


Nothing could send my brother into a rage quite like that move.

dbozek said...

I gotta go with the origianl Bill Walsh College Football for the sega Genesis.

Auburn '83.

Bo Jackson was unstoppable. I would a loss back to the 1 yardline everytime I had the ball just to see how many 99 yard ruches I could get in 1 game.

Calvin's got a job said...

NBA Jam on Super nintendo... The Soncis combo of Shawn Kemp/Detlef Schrempf was unreal... Could easily average a quadruple double with kemp... 76 ppg 16 rpg 10 apg and 13 childrenfatheredpg

Skin Patrol said...

Super Baseball Simulator 2.000. Boyd has a 1.000 batting average because he always gets a base with a bunt, and Clif is easily the best hitter in the game.

MicroscopicElvis said...

World Cup Soccer for original Nintendo. The Argintine Unstoppable Bicycle Kick would save humanity for certain

Peter McSheisty said...

Mortal Kombat 2 for Sega.

The SNES had better sound and graphics but, where's the blood?

Hats For Bats said...

Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge.

Now with scoring pencil!

fallex said...

Double Dribble!

done.

El Duffo O Muerte said...

World Class Track Meet for NES. Their slimy tentacles would be no match for me on the Power Pad.

Johnny Cockring said...

I'd pick GT4, because I'm miserable at anything else.

But they don't appear to have thumbs, so I could probably even beat them in Madden.

the butler said...

I'll take Excitebike.

oh, and great pick fallex...

Baseball Stars=Classic.

Shan said...

silent scope 2 versus mode, yes, i am an arcade hound.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Now I'll take Super Mario World for N64, my favorite video game ever.

My Hero Zero said...

All those tentacles give our alien overlords a major advantage with any multi-button controller, but I'm thinking a simple dial would be their downfall.

Night Driver for the original Atari. Now get the fuck off my planet.

the butler said...

damn fallex, you go and pick another classic before I can congratulate you on your first one...

HoneyNut said...

I'll take PGA '93 for the Sega Genesis, just as long as I am allowed to save my game after each shot and re-start whenever I don't make eagle.

-24, Kang. Suck it.

Not Only, But Also Lee said...

Legend of Zelda.

Not 2-player? The aliens will have to fucking wait.

Chris said...

Excite Bike - Nes

Double trouble if I get to build my own track.

Peter McSheisty said...

Mike Tyson's Punch Out

the chief said...

NBA Jam for Nintendo. Golden State Warriors Chris Mullin and Tim Hardaway could save not just the world, but the entire universe.

BOOM SHAK-ALAKA!

Hats For Bats said...

Java Turbo TextTwist. During one slow period at work, I played it eight hours a day. For two months. I'm like John Nash in "a Beautiful Mind" when it comes to rearranging six-letter words.

I'mma Scrabble some alien ass.

Calvin's got a job said...

Mario Tennis...
Yoshi lefthanded with a star...Untouchable

Johnny Cockring said...

Arch Rivals- shoot, pass, punch

gotta play the dude with the green mohawk

John S. said...

With the fate of humanity on the line, I am going to have to go with "The Lurking Horror" by Infocom.

It was one of those "interactive fiction" games. Since I know all the games secrets, I would be finished before Kang was even figuring out that he needed to get the parka to go outside.

Shan said...

arch rivals, the only basketball game i have ever excelled at

Chris said...

Damn you Butler -

Well then I shall take Duck Hunt - SNES.

If some how I end up losing I will use the gun to bash the aliens skull in.

Calvin's got a job said...

Cheif...already been said and Kemp/Schrempf would own mullin/hardaway... But timmy would congratulate kemp on his heteroness

Big Daddy Drew said...

My Hero for the Sega Master System. All hail the Sega Card!!!!!!!

Taylor said...

Gradius

Hardest game there was.

Peter McSheisty said...

@ Chris

Duck Hunt was on NES.

Johnny Cockring said...

@shan- because it is the closest to reality

Pemulis said...

ninja gaiden black for xbox... i played that essentially nonstop one year in college

David said...

Goldeneye for crying out loud...

Hats For Bats said...

"Drug War" for my TI-83 graphing calculator.

I failed calculus, so that someday I might save the world.

El Duffo O Muerte said...

Street Fighter II. Spacemen cant stop the E. Honda karate chop

the chief said...

Metroid.

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Read for comprehension, David.

I'll take Streets of Rage II for Sega Genesis.

Peter McSheisty said...

@ David

Read the instructions. Goldeneye is gone. Ape took it.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Ape already took Goldeneye.

Choose again.

David said...

BTW: That's not my pick. My pick would be Earl Weaver baseball b/c nobody ever played it. Goldeneye is just also the shit, and I always want to steer conversations towards proximity mines.

Calvin's got a job said...

@hats
Phenomenal pick...I can't tell you how to find the hypotenuse of an isoceles triangle but god dammit do i know where to find the cheapest ludes

Peter McSheisty said...

GTA- San Andreas

jawpri said...

The phrase "old school" needs to be used sparingly, people. Halo 2? Anything that's a second version doesn't qualify as old school.Everything's relative...kudos to Tempest, though.

Grimey said...

I'm going to keep it simple... Ms. Pacman, arcade version.

By the way, it is my dream to have the arcade version of the original NBA Jam in my home someday.

Not Only, But Also Lee said...

Resident Evil.

I want to see if the aliens hide behind the couch and cry when the rabid terrifying zombie dogs jump out of the window and damage their calm.

@Hats: No "Penguins" for the TI-83? Or "Nibbles"?

Peter McSheisty said...

My favorite TI 83 game was Diamonds-this sweet ass puzzle game thats a mix between Tetris and Breakout. But thats not my pick. Just sayin.

MicroscopicElvis said...

@hats - Don't do it son. How's that game going to improve your putting?

NES Ice Hockey - 3 skinny dudes & 2 fat dudes on the ice.

John John The Bastard said...

NBA Live 2004

Peter McSheisty said...

@ Jawpri

You might want to read that again, cuz I said New School, when referring to Halo 2.

John S. said...

Resident Evil 2

because someone else took RE! before I could.

Jackin'4Beats said...

I was going to take Mortal Kombat but I leave my desk and come back and that's taken. So I'll take Shinobi for Sega.

fallex said...

@butler
Thanks. The sad thing is, I still play those games, so Kang wouldn't stand a chance. Me thumz no do well with 3+ button controllur.

So then. NES Ice Hockey. (w/national teams). Give me all fat guys.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Diddy Kong Racing, bitch. Nobody controls a monkey on a boat like I do.

SlickBomb said...

Any of the old N64 WCW/nWo wrestling games with the simple A + B + U combinations. I might actually be the ebst in the world at those games.

Calvin's got a job said...

Pick #4 Chex Bubble Hockey...
USA vs. USSR...
These colors don't run

Otto Man said...

Tempest is gone? Fucknuts.

I'll go with the arcade version of Centipede then. Sooner or later, Kang would pinch a tentacle on the track ball.

And then it's time to kick some back!

Johnny Cockring said...

T-MEK!

Playing T-Mek was like taking amphetamines. Adrenaline rush! advantage: humanity

Unsilent Majority said...

Hats for Bats with the best sleeper pick of the draft!

Drug/Dope Wars was the balls.

the chief said...

Double Dragon - arcade style. That game requires a certain stamina for gayness that no unearthly being could possibly withstand. plus i rule at it for no good reason.

Chuckles said...

Golden Tee

becky said...

Has everyone heard my story about that one time I beat X-Men vs. Street Fighter at the arcade, on the difficult level, with 1 token, and my ultra-nerd gamer friend got annoyed and jumped in on the 2P to be a dick and I defeated him too, and it was the single greatest achievement of my life?
Well now you have.
I'm teaming up Ken & Ryu and saving the planet, bitches.

Jordan Ginsberg said...

BDD - "Nobody controls a monkey on a boat like I do."

What about a man in a canoe? I'll take Ken Griffey Jr.'s Slugfest for N64.

Unsilent Majority said...

Super Wrestlemania!

Nobody, human or alien, can stop the powers of Papa Shango!

Peter McSheisty said...

Resident Evil 4- Its definitely the best out of all the REs.

Chris said...

Frogger

Unsilent Majority said...

...and becky's a nerd

Hats For Bats said...

@unsilent majority:

I win for sleeper pick.

I lose because I'm bored at work, and I think my TI-83 is 700 miles away in a box at my parents' house.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Altered Beast for Sega Genesis.

http://www.shopping.com/xPO-Altered-Beast

Johnny Cockring said...

@chief- DoubleDragon! the double button behind the back elbow was unstoppable

how do the fingers remember these useless movements after so many years?

Big Daddy Drew said...

Sega Master System Pro Wrestling.

LARIAT!

HoneyNut said...

For pick #3, I'm going with Crash Bandicoot Team Racing for the Playstation. All you Mario Kart people just don't KNOW.

becky said...

UM-
what, you think I hang around here because I'm cool?

John John The Bastard said...

F-Zero,the original Super Nintendo version. Man I am cleaning up today, thank god they are discussing school issues in morning meeting today (No kids = I could give a shit less)

1. Knockout Kings (W/Zab)
2. NFL Blitz
3. NBA Live 2004
4. F-Zero (SNES Original)

John John The Bastard said...

@Jackin4beats: Damn you I figured that would be lurking a few rounds away. Good pick.

Christmas Ape said...

SimCity

Because aliens only know how to decimate our cities, not build them with good schools, lots of jobs, low crime, smart growth and about 16 stadia.

Otto Man said...

I'm going with Asteroids.

My dad's got 'em so bad, he can't even sit on the toilet some days.

John S. said...

Battle Zone - This game was not only cool, but, the two handle interface (with the buttons on the handles) gives me an additional advantage.

Moreover, Kang would probably underestimate the difficulty of the game because of the "primitive" graphics.

fallex said...

NES Jeopardy!. They may know all the answers, but can they spell them in time?

Shan said...

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz, Frisbee Golf mini game, for the wii. There is no way you can hold a "wiimote" with a damned tenticle.

El Duffo O Muerte said...

Bart vs. the Space Mutants (NES) That game was hard as hell, but we might as well make the battle authentic.

Peter McSheisty said...

Metal Gear Solid for Playstation 1. This game was way ahead of its time.

Calvin's got a job said...

@fallex
damn you i was just going for that

I'll settle for NES Family Feud... If only Richard Karn or Louie Anderson were the virtual hosts

Chuckles said...

NCAA football, 2001. They can take any team they would like.....

grungedave said...

Pro Wrestling on the original 8-bit Nintendo.

I made the Great Puma my bitch every time. I am a God at that game.

Unsilent Majority said...

hats for bats- just go here
http://www.google.com/search?q=dope+wars+download&hl=en&sa=X&revid=971637165&rtp=r&cd=1&oi=revisions_inline&ct=broad-revision&altrev=dope+wars

Johnny Cockring said...

Smash TV!

'I'd by that for a dollar!"

Not Only, But Also Lee said...

Does spelling upside-down words with numbers on a calculator count as a game? 1134. 58008.

4th-grade toilet humor > aliens.

Jackin'4Beats said...

@ john john, well you're gonna love this one.

Space Harrier for Sega. No one in the universe can take me in this game.

Dave said...

Baseball Simulator 1.000 for regular NES.

I've never been much of a gamer (never owned a console since the NES) but boy was I something special in this game. Played straight up, without any of that ultra shit, without souped up teams edited from ultra league, in the dome (the only one with a real sized outfield, even though in this case Space would be appropriate). My pitching and defense is superb. I'd shut out the aliens and I'd be even more of a hero than I already am. I'd imagine that I could dig this game out right now and be unstoppable in about an hour of practice.

Chris said...

Dance Dance Revolution - I would find some Asian kid to take my place though.

3000 said...

Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball on SNES, rollin' with the Braves.

The pitching staff is unparalleled and the line up's a stone killer.

Otto Man said...

It's sort of obvious.

The Last Starfighter.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Zelda: Ocarina Of Time.

And I'm spent.

Hats For Bats said...

@UM

Don't take this the wrong way, but... when this is all over, I think we should get an apartment together.

Shan said...

Team fortress for PC.....fuck with me, i swear.

Grimey said...

I'm not picking it, but I am surprised that no one has any confidence in their Guitar Hero skillz.

Unsilent Majority said...

Oregon Trail

Christmas Ape said...

Crash N' The Boys: Street Challenge (NES)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crash_'n_the_Boys:_Street_Challenge

HoneyNut said...

Mighty Bomb Jack.

Fuckin' A.

From the other side of town said...

"God of War"

Let Kratos inflict a little wrath of the Gods on their asses.

the chief said...

I just wrote an entire passage on the Last Starfighter. And otto man takes it. eff me. right in the a.

liquid_d said...

For the irony value I take Destroy All Humans. The look on Kang/Kodos face will be priceless as i beat them at their own game...

Chris said...

Top Gun - NES

The aliens may complete the mission but they will crash and burn on the landing.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Where are the real fighting games?

TEKKEN 2

Kang's getting his ass kicked tonight

John S. said...

Last Pick...

Tetris

I played this game infallably, in all states of mind, for years. No way, no how anyone can take me. Still today, years after the fact.. I still can hear that music echoing in the recesses of my mind.

Grimey said...

Great pick, Maj. You get dyssentery, AND the world ends.

On that note, I'll pick Number Munchers... and this game will last forever.

Hats For Bats said...

I think I could use Tetris's high score missiles to prevent their landing in the first place.

Plus, I've had the B-type music in my head all morning. I don't know why.

Hats For Bats said...

Damn, John. Beat me by *this* much. Well done, sir.

fallex said...

Arkanoid, bitches

Ross said...

MVP Baseball 2005 will be my pick. No one can fuck with Yankee Randy Johnson throwing 99 mph, despite the fact that he actually threw 89 when the game came out.

MicroscopicElvis said...

Unsilent-excellent strategy with the oregon trail. the only way you would lose is if the aliens were a class of 5th grade boys.

Has no one taken Donkey Kong Jr? If not, I got it.

Peter McSheisty said...

@ BDD

That was on my list but I figured I could steal it down the line because there are like 30+ Zelda games. That one is definitely the best.

Ken Dynamo said...

SNOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Undead Zombie Horde said...

damn. I can't believe God of War fell this far and I missed it.

I'll take Syphon Filter for Playstation.

I'll taser fuckers until they light up like a roman candle.

Calvin's got a job said...

@UM

PHENOMENAL PICK i was just talking about this yesterday... I'll ford the river all fucking day... Timmy got dyptheria again...god damnit

Otto Man said...

I'll take Global Thermonuclear War vs. the WOPR computer.

Hats For Bats said...

Erotic Photo Hunt.

Four beers down, a cloud of cigarette smoke in the air, and I can pick out the difference in two boobs from across a crowded bar.

Jackin'4Beats said...

More ass kicking coming Kang's way

Soul Calibur II for PS or Xbox.

I am invincible!!!!!

El Duffo O Muerte said...

Wolfenstein 3D. Once you defeat robo-hitler, no alien can stop you.

Shoopmonster said...

Super Dodge Ball for NES

HoneyNut said...

@Grimey

Your NNBA JAM Arcade verison dream can be fulfilled for $50. Check out eBay:

http://cgi.ebay.com/NBA-JAM-UPRIGHT-ARCADE-GAME-2-PLAYER-USED_W0QQitemZ180138470754QQihZ008QQcategoryZ13716QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Peter McSheisty said...

Ill take Gears of War. Just because its the only game Ive been playing for the past six months and Ill chainsaw the shit out of an alien/locust.

Peter McSheisty said...

@ hats for bats

Phenomenal. The only electric bar table game I play. Except the erotic version is hard to find, sometimes.

Otto Man said...

Hats for Bats has been flawless. I nominate him to be our Secretary of Partying Down and Video Game Defensery.

3000 said...

@shoopmonster

Super Dodgeball, fucking awesome pick. USA! USA!

But for my second pick, I'ma take Hoops on NES. I got Mr. Doc, yo.

HadesGigas said...

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume no one has picked Wrecking Crew for the NES. THERE ARE ALIENS IN IT.

Not Only, But Also Lee said...

@Grimey:

I'm not taking takes Guitar Hero because those multi-tentacled monsters would totally own me on "Bark at the Moon" on a plastic, 5-button guitar.

I might have a chance at "I Love Rock 'N' Roll," but who wants the fate of the world determined by a climactic showdown with a Joan Jett soundtrack? Lame.

Shan said...

Pit fighter for sega genesis. you think aliens know how it feels to be slammed through a car window? they're about to....

ColeTrain said...

Airwolf for NES. If Kang and Konos can even figure it out, the deserve to rule.

Calvin's got a job said...

@ Hats

Best draft i've seen in a while... congrats

Awful Chief said...

Out Run.
Great arcade game with a cool steering wheel, and get to drive a Ferrari with blond hair of female passenger blowing in breeze as I speed past everyone.

Hats For Bats said...

@otto man

Can I quote you on my resume?

Awful Chief said...

butler, great pick with Excite Bike

Grimey said...

@honeynut... No, I need the four-player version. It's a social thing.

king of the herculoids said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Otto Man said...

@otto man Can I quote you on my resume?

Feel free. But use my professional name -- Gene Shalit.

John S. said...

@hats...

Wiki "Korobeiniki" and scroll down to the MIDI sample.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand your day is ruined.

MicroscopicElvis said...

Escape from Grandma's House

Otto Man said...

I'm torn between Burger Time and Paperboy.

Which one do you think would make them die of boredom first?

king of the herculoids said...

tony hawk pro skater 3...give me bobby burnquist and its over

Peter McSheisty said...

When was the last time some of you played a video game?

Otto Man said...

Escape from Grandma's House

You have reached the level of "Ungrateful Grandchild."

That settles it. I'll take the "My Dinner with Andre" arcade game.

"Tell me more!"

Hats For Bats said...

@John S:

Amazing. I have to figure out if I can play this over the office intercom.

John John The Bastard said...

@Jackin: You are KILLING ME!! I have an idea and as soon as I get back to my desk you picked it for the third straight time.

Clayfighter is my pick because Soul Calibur II is off the board

Chris Harris said...

Skate or Die for the NES. I own the Pool Joust.

Christmas Ape said...

Maniac Mansion (NES)

I'm Keith Hernandez said...

Bionic Commando. Rest easy mankind that I, along with Super Joe, will not fail.

Grimey said...

@mcsheisty:

I can't remember the last time I've been good at a video game.

John S. said...

@hats

If you could, it would be kind of like Andy Dufrense in Shawshank.

"It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free. "

John S. said...

I am not picking anymore, but... I would be remiss if the draft wnet by without "Joust" getting picked.

Awful Chief said...

I'm torn between Burger Time and Paperboy.

Which one do you think would make them die of boredom first?


Nice, Otto. There really needs to be a game called Accountant vs. Actuary for grown-up fans of those games.

3000 said...

One on One: Dr. J vs. Larry Bird on the 7800.

I WILL dunk, I WILL shatter the backboard, the mustachioed janitor WILL sweep that shit up.

jawpri said...

@Peter McSheisty

touché.

I'll go back to pretending to work now.

Shan said...

Red Steel, by the time they figured out the controls I would already be declared victor of the universe.

John John The Bastard said...

@Peter Mcshiesty: I play Video games alot (Because I finagled a way to get paid for it) but The last time I was dominant in them that wasn't picked is a different story. I am trying to adhere to the whole no different versions of the same game rule.

Chris said...

Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge - I think there are only a few people who will get this.

Hats For Bats said...

@john s.

I hope they have a good arcade in Zihuatanejo.

Johnny Cockring said...

shan and i played the same games, so I'll just let him take my picks from now on.

question: in Pit-Fighter, after giving Southside Jim or Chris Berman's date a knob-job/piledriver, what does Buzz say? I think it's either "the Fist!" or "Suck This!"

Permanent4 said...

Cyberball 2084. You cannot stop the reign of the Titanium Powerback.

Awful Chief said...

Chris, I can't believe you took Top Gun off the board. Well done. I love refueling in that game. It's like fucking for 10 year olds.

Chuckles said...

Rainbow Six 3: Ravenshield

Unsilent Majority said...

California Games

Hats For Bats said...

@chris:

Actually, it went a while ago.

Shoopmonster said...

Wrestlemania 2000 on N64. In all seriousness, Benoit had 3 finishing moves that were incredible in that game. I wish to not make a Benoit joke and pretend that the game isn't tarnished.

John S. said...

@hats

I will be there, and I will keep the chess board ready

Shan said...

my bad johnny, i gave up searching for my picks long ago...

Peter McSheisty said...

@ John John

Understandable.I guess I just play a shit load of video games. Thats what happens when you live with the same women for five years. Yay for me, no social life.

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Doom II.