Thursday, May 24, 2007

This Week's KSK Mock Draft: Bands You Would Like To Have Been The Frontman For


Oh c'mon, you didn't expect us to take a week off without holding a little draft fun, now, did you? Lord knows you folks have earned it. Frankly, I'm stunned and delighted you folks cared that much. After all, reading KSK and NOT reading at all are fairly similar endeavors. To wormfather, otto man, grimey, and the rest of you fabulous KSK commenters out there, thanks for sticking around during a week where we were determined to not do anything at all.

This week's draft: Bands You Would Like To Have Been The Frontman For. Yes, I just dangled a preposition. Suck my balls. The rules: You can pick any band from any spot in time. This may not be your favorite band, just the band that would promise the awesomest life experience should you be the lucky asshole who fronted it. You sung. And possibly played the lead guitar. You did all the coke. And you accidentally nailed all the tranny groupies. If your frontman died young, so did you. Hip hop bands welcome. No solo artists. Once you pick a band, you must wait 10 picks to select another.

My first pick, of course, is Led Zeppelin. They aren't my favorite band. But who passes up the chance to violate women with a mud shark like Robert Plant did? No one, that's who.

And if you can name the band above, you get to bypass the 10-choice rule to make your next pick. But beware: I'll be picking them very soon. Because they fucking rule.

And if you pick REM, you are a fucking pussy.

241 comments:

Laser Rocket Arm said...

Goddammit, Drew, you're too good--you knew we'd all click on the picture to see if that would give us a hint.

Anyway, after much thought I'm going to pick Guns N Roses. I'd love to go through life throwing tantrums, doing that weird snake dance, blowing off shows, look like a dreadlocked Mark McGwire, make people wait fifteen years for a follow-up record, and just one chance to scream from the stage in front of 50,000 drunk Europeans "DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE, BABY! AND I CAN STILL BANG MODELS!"

Shoopmonster said...

Black Sabbath leaving me as Ozzy Osbourne. Who doesn't want to piss on Texas? And eat bats. And choke my wife. Plus, you took Led Zeppelin already, you bastard.

QueeferSuthrland said...

The Rolling Stones

TheStarterWife said...

John Lennon, because I have always wanted to be bigger than Jesus.

And if you say Paul was the leader of the Beatles I will fucking cut you.

Unsilent Majority said...

The Who. Nobody rocks like The Who.

Boy Howdy said...

Parliament/Funkadelic

I can't think of much that would be more fun than that.

Unsilent Majority said...

fuck

CVail said...

Aerosmith

No fucking doubt.

bonus points for still being alive

The Young Nucleus said...

Queen! I don't care if Freddie was gay, he was the fucking man. And I've always wanted to rock out on "Another One Bites The Dust".

Captain Ned said...

The Black Crowes.

PS: I think the mystery band is The Replacements.

Shenanigans said...

The doors, because i like being naked in public

khugus said...

The Time....they all could play, were funky as hell, got the Prince falloff and you have a valet on stage in Jerome. And you didn't need to sing well to do it.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Oooh, someone picked the Time. Very nice.

I do believe I'll be selecting Roth-era Van Halen next.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Even though Roth is clearly gay.

Mr.Carr said...

Spinal Tap. The thought of simply exploding on stage puts this one over the top. Goodnight Cleveland!!

haskins42 said...

Pearl Jam...

Being the guy who drinks on stage...mumbles the stories behind every song and getting laid by any girl you see fit...Sounds good to me

larry burns said...

so am i the only one whois taking rappers.
I am totally not doing a break down for this by the way

OK mine would be

Jay-Z
Saigon
Bon Jovi
Springstein
(Yes i am from jersey why do you ask?)
Lil Wayne

Dsanchez said...

Fucking Metallica. Fuck Yeah. I actually got a pick I wanted in one of these instead of some BS value pick late in a round

The Pirate Sloth said...

Pink Floyd.

Who else got away with THAT many drugs and THAT much craziness? Besides the Beatles possibly. And Zeppelin.

BDD - is that Pearl Jam in the photo?

larry burns said...

the grades for last draft can be found at my blog, just click my name you will find it if you want.

Stuart said...

U2. Who cares if Bono is a self-righeous ass; I wanna rock out on a downtown rooftop until the LAPD shows up to shut me down.

Unsilent Majority said...

larry burns- no solo artists allowed, these are bands. bruce and bon jovi work but you have to pick one of them.

Seeing as how it's been ten picks, I'm taking The Jimi Hendrix Experience.

as my other band once said, I hope I die before I get old.

larry burns said...

I did not read the rules at first:


g-unit
drama kings
abandoned nation
dipset

larry burns said...

hey um to be fair you took a girl last draft if i remmeber. and i just modified, i take those since no one else is going rap here.

my order would be
1.dipset (for lil wayne)
2. abandoned nation(for siagon)
3. drama kings (for papoose)
4. g unit (for yayo)

Unsilent Majority said...

pirate sloth- there are a few others depending on what you meant by "get away with"

Stuart said...

BDD - that's not Sugar in the photo, is it?

Ben said...

1st pick: Creedence CLearwater Revival. I don't care how bad Fogerty sounds today.

Unsilent Majority said...

and i rescinded that pick.

weezy is Cash Money not Dipset, he's from New Orleans not Harlem like Cam'ron.

take some time, compose yourself.

flubby said...

motorhead

The Pirate Sloth said...

Damnit, I got to go board my plane. I'm gonna just drop 2 bands right quick, before flying home.

- Motley Crue
- Beastie Boys

For Beastie, its just the sheer fun of being a Beastie.

For Motley Crue - 80's hair rock bands nailed every single groupie that threw pussy at them - and these 4 did it more than anyone else.

khugus said...

2nd pick, since the Beasties are taken, I will go with the Police.

Big Daddy Drew said...

larry burns. are you fucking retarded? pick ONE band.

Unsilent Majority said...

and the drama king is kayslay!

devang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christopher said...

AC/DC. Although being Bon would be nice if I was feeling a little warm today, I'd want to be Angus.

Ben said...

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for Pick #2. I may be too high to make the rest of my picks.

Dsanchez said...

Three Six Mafia. Why? Have you seen adventures in Hollyhood. Funniest show ever. Especially when they brought out that white guy with the mean dustasche

devang said...

I rescind my previous pick and take Cream.

Man did Clapton do his best work when he was strung out on heroin

s13miller said...

Digital Underground.

Yep, it's a stretch in the early rounds, the kids will be re-discovering my one song for years to come. Plus in a 69 my Humpty nose will tickle your rear.

Shoopmonster said...

Oasis. I get to be a giant waste of talent and it's totally acceptable. I also get to be a complete prick to everybody for as long as I damn well please.

Joe Asheville said...

ABBA. Not as gay as you think, Bjorn Ulvaeus plowed through the Blond on the way to an unending supply of Sweden's Finest - and still has brain cells left.

jfizz said...

good oasis pick, shoopmonster, but i'll see your cocky brits and raise (lower?) you over a decade in years and call arctic monkeys. not the greatest band in the world, but to be 21ish and having the press calling your first album one of the top ten british albums of all time? that has a lot of possibilities.

Unsilent Majority said...

devang- absolutely, but bruce did the singing for Cream

I'll take Bob Marley and the Wailers

Rick Muscles said...

Skynnyrd,
but I wish I could be Artemus Pyle instead of Ronnie Van Zant.

khugus said...

3rd pick...I take the Pussycat Dolls...just for the geometric possibilities. And as trade bait maybe.

Christmas Ape said...

Bad Brains

Ben said...

3rd pick: Tenacious D. Taking Spinal Tap in round 1 so smart I refuse to verbally concede it. Oh, wait.

Christmas Ape said...

The Clash

devang said...

Fuck UM, you're right!! I'll still take them. Clapton was THE MAN!!

Didn't Winwood do "Can't find My way home"?

Unsilent Majority said...

I <3 Ape!

devang said...

2nd pick Allman Brothers.

Unsilent Majority said...

devang- Winwood was in Clapton's other power-trio aptly named Powerhouse

Unsilent Majority said...

ten pick buffer zone must be observed

devang said...

UM, thanks. I'm losing it tonight.

devang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rob I said...

REM

Fuck you, Drew.

Shoopmonster said...

Iggy Pop and the Stooges. I have no idea how he is still alive, but there's a great story of him getting cut by broken glass during a performance and squirting blood all over the place. Nobody rocks as hard as Iggy and he even looks like he's rocked too hard.

Rick Muscles said...

KISS- I couldn't imagine anything being more fun than being that over the top and that ridiculous.

Matt T said...

311 - Nick Hexum

He banged Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls before she was famous, not to mention the copious amounts of booze, weed, psuedo hippy chick groupies, etc.

And they have a great live show.

Unsilent Majority said...

Jefferson Airplane. Always a shaky group but Marty Balin was there when it mattered.

Rob I said...

Also, fuck Larry Burns for:

(a) a complete incapability to follow SIMPLE rules

(b) giving me a C+ because he's gay for Bono and Zach Braff

(c) seriously, could the rules BE any simpler?

BeaverFever said...

iron maiden ! eddie lives.

devang said...

Rob,

He also gave Jersey a bad name.

khugus said...

4th pick...the Eagles...they did enough drugs in the 70's to run with any group and they are still around.

Bulger in My Pants said...

No Doubt, just so I could sex up Gavin Rossdale without fear of serving jail time.

Whoever could pull him out of me would be crowned King of England. Mmm hmmm...

Unsilent Majority said...

khungus- and to think you were off to such a promising start.

Unsilent Majority said...

sometimes it takes me a minute to remember that bulger in my pants isn't a dude.

Shoopmonster said...

I was going to pick No Doubt so that I could say that I have touched Gwen Stefani's naughty bits.

Bulger in My Pants said...

UM - Maybe I should have a boob icon to help you remember?

devang said...

Maybe I should have a boob icon to help you perverts?.

Fixed.

Joe Asheville said...

The E-Street Band. Hey, I'm King of New Jersey!

Don't You Judge Me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unsilent Majority said...

couldn't hurt

Rick Muscles said...

wolfmother-
I wouldn't mind fucking shredding and pretending I'm bat shit insane for my wage 3 hours a night. Their lead singer changes guitars after everysong and says shit like this, " 'elo buhmeenghum, some of you have been there before. the wolfmother certainly has. This song is called "flight of the eagle." Then the guitar tech hands him a white double strat.

devang said...

No one, really!?!? Ok, I'll do it.

3rd pick Nirvana

So what if I had to bang Courtney Love and off myself? Argue with me all you want, but Nirvana changed the face of music. You say Pearl Jam, I say Nirvana.

Don't You Judge Me said...

no one, really?

Violent Femmes.

everyone of you mother-fuckers knows every word to Kiss Off, Blister in the Sun, etc.

Rob I said...

Elvis Costello and the Attractions

I want to be brash and cocky and Irish and then go on to record easy listening records with Burt Bacharach.

Shoopmonster said...

Thin Lizzy. I get to be a man of dark complexion (which I'm not) who is Irish (which I'm also not) and I get to play the bass player (which, again, I'm not).

larry burns said...

my bad wit weezy

io took multiple bands cause i figured no one would take those,

kayslay is the 'label' under whihc papoose is. although he has never had an official album.

Rick Muscles said...

Sure, Nirvana changed the face of music. We went from celebrating guys who did blow and fucked bitches to tortured artist pussies who majored in English at Sarah Lawrence and wine about being misunderstood. Picking Nirvana is a pick for Moby. Cobain tured are front men into weirdo pussies.

Captain Caveman said...

I'm not sure how far Drew's rules extend... but I'm tempted to say N*SYNC -- Britney in her prime, then a solo album before nailing Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel.

It would be worth the ignominy of the music.

larry burns said...

rob i tht was my view i happen to love US if you hate them i can see where you are coming from, i did not follow the rules because id did not fele like continuosly checking my bad on that.

Brian said...

Talking Heads.

David Byrne gets away with some weird shit.

Shoopmonster said...

Damn you CC, that was my next pick.

larry burns said...

ignore my previous picks i rescind them all starting again.

abandoned nation.

devang said...

I don't give a shit about his self loathing angst. I just liked the fact that he used it as fodder for some pretty good music.

khugus said...

5th pick - Earth, Wind and Fire.

Unsilent Majority said...

I'll take Sly and the Family Stone.

Name the lead of another band that had more fun and showed up to roughly 25% of his concerts. I love that crazy bastard.

for the record drama king is kayslay's nickname because his mixtapes are the conduit for all the drama between rappers.

Don't You Judge Me said...

if you want weird - Jane's Addiction.

Yeah, Perry's a weird dude, but he's got his own summer festival that's filled with drugged-out neo-hippie chicks.

or you could be Dave Navarro - talk about weird! but he banged Carmen Electra AND Jenna Jameson.

larry burns said...

UM i am aware that is why i used that name instead of kayslay, as drama king was the name under which more of it is published, but this is a sports blog and this is inane pointless argument which i may have been wrong about, so therefore if i am wrong my bad if i was right who cares.

Ben said...

The band in the picture is Husker Du, no?

And I would probably choose to front the Pixies.

s13miller said...

Green Day.

Write some kick ass songs, get college pussy. Then write some kick ass songs with political overtone and get some 1970's bush, granola pussy.

But as a wise man once said. "The worst pussy I had, was still pretty good."

Unsilent Majority said...

fair enough.

larry burns said...

g-dnm it peple hurry up and pick i don't want to break the rules... again.

i gotta go to sleepm, ok everyone make fun of me but i am in highschool/ have to dress up tommorw/ have 2 tests/ am fucking tired from staying up late last night doing grading for last weeks draft.

Rob I said...

Yep, these are your commenters!

JAMMQ said...

Nine Inch Nails . . . you get to bang hot chicks over a span of
three different decades.
Smash tons of shit on stage and go completely out of your mind in the 90's, then say you've cleaned yourself up in the 2000's, all the while screwing the rest of the touring band out of any money they deserved. That would be hot!

JAMMQ said...

Husker Du rocks. The Pixies were good, but I heard Black Francis is a pretentious prick, and he banged Kim Deal and she's a dog.

Ben said...

4th pick: Journey. Don't stop believin that you can hook up with desperate 20-somethings trying to relive their high school days. Hold on to that feelin...

Rick Muscles said...

Alice Fuckin' Cooper-
Invented shock rock, decapitated himself on stage, drug and alcohol addictions, got laid a lot, hung out w/ Lou Reed, mentored Dave Mustaine of Megadeth - who could shred harder than metallica, was funny in Wayne's World and finally his dick went soft and still is whipping everybody's ass in golf. I performed a guerilla show for him with my college band and he told me one day maybe his band will open up for my band. Our bass player lives in Mexico now, so it didn't happen.

Rob I said...

Buddy Holly and the Crickets

My death will be widely considered the end of rock and roll and I will be immortalized in song by Weezer and on film by Gary Busey.

If I'm going down, I'm going down IN FLAMES.

Captain Caveman said...

The White Stripes.

In between the rock-groupie cuteness of Meg White and the iffy hookups with Renee Zellweger and Karen Elson, Jack White must have scored amazing tail. More importantly, at this moment in time no human on Earth shreds the axe like he does.

Don't You Judge Me said...

Red Hot Chili Peppers

get to wear a sock as your only item of clothing and still be cool.

Rob I said...

If anyone takes Blue Oyster Cult (MORE COWBELL LOLLERSKATES) I will reach through the Internet and tear your larynx out.

Christmas Ape said...

Sex Pistols

Fuck you, you Nancys.

Ben said...

On the hip/hop side I'd have to say De La Soul or A Tibe Called Quest.

And the drummer's the one of the Pixies that pisses me off. Just seems like a pretentious bastard.

Unsilent Majority said...

ape, enjoy your newly curvaceous spine and extreme vision.

Unsilent Majority said...

I'm taking Rare Essence.

If you know you know, if you don't you don't.

mind... said...

wait a minute... the rules said "hip-hop bands" so...

The Roots.

I think I win.

Greg said...

I'm a little late to the party but I think I am ending up with 2 steals.

1) Wu Tang Clan
2) Rage Against the Machine

JAMMQ said...

Wu-Tang Clan . . . for some reason white girls throw themselves all over these guys.

JAMMQ said...

WTF!?!?

Don't You Judge Me said...

I personally detest them, but they really raked in the tail in the 80s and 90s.

Motley Crue.

Is it necessary for me to list Tommy Lee's 'accomplishments'?

s13miller said...

N.W.A.

Cuz the only thing better than a band that gets chicks is a band that scares chicks AND gets chicks.

I also claim Ice Cube as the front man. Not Dre or Easy E.

Someone is going to get KC and the Sunshine band and it's going to be the sleeper pick o' the century!

JAMMQ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JAMMQ said...

New Kids On The Block . . . all girls between 13-30 at my disposal from 1989-1993. Then go on to produce behind the scenes and still bang uber-ass. The corniness, cheesiness, and complete gay-ness are major drawbacks, but it will all soon be forgotten when a massive train is being run on the tour bus.

Rob I said...

Poison

I would take Bon Jovi for the massive amounts of money and the perfectly flocked hair, but JBJ has always been faithful to his wife.

Bret Michaels, however, just wanted to fuck teenage groupies.

Greg said...

@ rob i

nice pick

With my thir pick I select REO Spe ... shit what the fuck am I thinking ... I select The Drop Kick Murphy's (for some reason chicks dig the accordion)

My Insignificant Life said...

STYX - Welcome To The Grand Illusion

Rick Muscles said...

velvet underground:
gang banging niko, a european model and holocaust survivor, must have been satisfying, and inventing alternative rock must feel pretty good, too.

Unsilent Majority said...

good pick rick. they were on my list.

My Insignificant Life said...

Murph and The Magic Tones - Nothing like scoring with the lonely chicks at The Holiday Inn

Christmas Ape said...

The Meters

Don't You Judge Me said...

Foo Fighters

Jeff Hawkins said...

actually Winwood and Clapton were in my pick

Blind Faith

along with Ginger Baker on Drums

Unsilent Majority said...

The Revolution

come on people, step it up!

Rick Muscles said...

Why would anyone want to be Clapton? Who gives a fuck if he can play? He plugged into the marshall stack and rode the lightning, but he still was a heroin freak and his best work was about how he wished he could fuck George Harrison's wife.

Greg said...

Limp Biz ... damn it there I go again ... what I meant to say was Sublime

JAMMQ said...

Keeping in line with the whole punk thing, NOFX . . . "Oy, Oy, Where the brews?"

Unsilent Majority said...

jammq- i'll take dc punk over san fran punk any day.

JAMMQ said...

clinton portis likes san fran punk more. Provides a better ambiance for the dogfights.

Unsilent Majority said...

yeah right, Minor Threat is real dogfight music. besides, clinton's from the mississipp

Opiwan said...

Bee Gees

I get all the 70s Free Love pussy I want while making tons of disco cash, then move behind the scenes to cowrite and produce stupid pop songs that rake in dough for the rest of my life. Plus, my falsetto is better than anyone's normal voice, so eat that!

Opi = winner

JAMMQ said...

Keep it up and I'll steal fugazi with the next pick.

Unsilent Majority said...

btw, this artists work was on display at a friend's gallery a few months back. if you like the 80's punk scene in dc (henry rollins / ian mackaye) you might want to check it out if you like the idea of henry rollins working at hagen dazs

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2007/02/07/DI2007020701569.html

Unsilent Majority said...

note: i do not condone the straightedge lifestyle in any way shape or form.

QueeferSuthrland said...

Genesis, Peter Gabriel Genesis of course.

Rick Muscles said...

the beach boys. 60s chicks in bikinis? Fuck yes. I bet they wrecked more pussy than the ladies from whippedass.com.

JAMMQ said...

Fuck this, I need to go to bed. I'm making my next pick. Nobody is going to want this group anyway(too black for KSK) . . . The Commodores.

Get all that 1970's free love ass, then go on to a successful solo career as Lionel Richie in the '80's, with all the hookers, blow and booze you could ask for.

Of course it all comes back on you in the end and you end up with Nicole Richie for a daughter, because karma's a bitch.

Good to have you KSK guys back. Night.

Unsilent Majority said...

(too black for KSK)

are you new?

Captain Ned said...

Berlin, just so I can fuck Terri Nunn.

khugus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
khugus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
khugus said...

Public Enemy....the most important rap group in its history.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Fuck Fuck and Fuck again. What the hell, I missed a mock draft?

Dammit all to hell.

OK, since I missed like 140+ picks, I think I'm entitled to make 3 picks at 1:00am.

1) Living Colour - Cult of Personality Bitches!

2) Pantera - speed metal = plenty of poon tang

3) The Crystal Method - That track on the Matrix is borderline rave music and in all raves are X'd out chicks = plenty of tang.

Good night Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome back Gay Mafia.

Rick Muscles said...

drive by truckers- just because it would be fun to sing about growing up in north alabama, where i'm from.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Rare Essence = Go-Go Music = Cowbells down on the farm.

Wow, you are definitely from DC.

wlh99raiders said...

Not sure how they got this far down, but ZZ Top is a steal. Those beards must be filled with stories of women.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

two catch up picks:

1) Weezer
2) Linkin Park

Rick Muscles said...

Brooklyn boy has the worst pics so far. You must absolutely hate music. Did you read the rules? It wasn't list two shitty bands.

vitalogist said...

bargain of the draft:

PEARL JAM


bitches!

Signal to Noise said...

Late to the party. Fuck.

Give me the Minutemen. If they're taken and I missed it, then the Afghan Whigs, please.

The Pirate Sloth said...

@don't you judge me

I already picked the Crue - you can't have them.

My next pick:

Tool


I can;t fucking believe no one picked Tool. I'd get to work with the best voice in Rock.

Yournotunique said...

Ok, so I'm a little late to the draft, but I think my pick is not only great value, but one of the best picks overall:

Def Leppard

Super hot trim on both sides of the Atlantic, great cheesey songs (and by great I mean shitty), and constant joke material due to your handi-capable drummer.

miamidiesel said...

I don't know shit about music, so I'm a little out of my element with this draft. That said, as its late at night (and I've been a true soldier throughout the Gay Mafia's hiatus this week), and the Wu-Tang Clan (my favorite group ever) and the Jimi Hendrix Experience (I've always dreamed of playing Machine Gun in a packed club) are off the board, I'm taking some other classics -- Sugarhill Gang (Rapper's Delight - 'nuff said), Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five (The Message - 'nuff said), and Run DMC (Run DMC - 'nuff said). Also, as my sleeper pick, I'm taking J.D. and the Straight Shot. For those of you who have no idea who the fuck that is, that's James Dolan's shitty-shitty blues group. Why do I pick them you ask? Because as much as I hate that fat fuck Dolan, the man OWNS THE FUCKING NEW YORK KNICKS (not to mention Madison Square Garden, the New York Rangers, and Cablevision). My greatest dream in life is to own the Knicks, and that dumb dick has them, ergo, I pick his group.

I just got back from an early showing of Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End. My advice to those of you who liked the first two movies? Watch the first two movies again this weekend, then make up your own ending to the series and pretend the third movie never happened (and if you didn't like the first two - kill yourself). I'll admit the third one had the charm of the first two in certain spots, but overall, it was a rambling, incoherent mess, just a fucking train-wreck of a movie, and a real waste of damn near three hours. In essence, its the latest third movie in a trilogy to be a huge letdown (following in the footsteps of recent busts like X-Men 3, Spiderman 3, Shrek 3, Terminator 3, Matrix Revolutions, and past disasters like Godfather III and Karate Kid III). In fact, that could be a good draft - third parts of trilogies that didn't blow. My pick? Probably Lord of the Rings - Return of the King. Rocky III doesn't count because the Rocky series now goes six movies deep, and the only other one that comes to mind at 2:30 in the morning is Shaft in Africa (can you really go wrong with a movie named Shaft in Africa?).

Glad to see KSK paid attention to our agony this week, and finally acknowledged our suffering and threw us a bone. And with that, I'm out.

TheStarterWife said...

Well, I know I took the Beatles more than six hours ago and missed about six rounds, so going shopping was a mistake. (And I am royally pissed that I people took Tool, Fugazi, the Black Crowes, PE, and the Roots. Especially Fugazi - that was going to be MY steal.)

And since I am posting after a fucking PotC review, I am taking three - you fuckers are sleeping.

Public Image Ltd. (Survive the punk movement - 80's free sex pre-AIDS - have hit song remade in 2006 by hot skanky French chicks)

Fishbone (Get a cool cane)

The Go-Gos - Lots of sex and coke with John Belushi. Hot.

Ben said...

With my fifth and final pick, I go with Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Really? You all picked the Pussycat Dolls before the Queen of Rock? Pathetic. This woman consumed enough alcohol and drugs to keep a South American country afloat for decades.

To recap:

1) CCR
2) Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
3) Tenacious D
4) Journey
5) Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

Folk heroes, pot smokers, joke artists, 80s legends, and the top bitch. I retire in peace.

Walker said...

Top four value picks of this draft thus far were Beatles (clearly should have be 1), Def Leopard, Chili Peppers, and U2 (should have been second pick. Since I have missed like 200 picks, I am taking three, and I believe I win: (1) Phish, (2) Grateful Dead, (3) The Band. Plus my bonus pick: Black Flag. Talk about 4 bands that have enormous cult followings, do things their own way, and fucking do every drug known to man.

Walker said...

Wait, drop The Band, they are awesome but I just love that one song. My third pick instead is OUTKAST. I win 100%. Andre 3000 is cool as... [insert retarded sports center metaphor here]

Big Daddy Drew said...

Fuck, someone took Def Leppard. Well played.

And whoever guessed Husker Du gets a bonus pick.

I'll be taking Queens of the Stone Age now.

JAMMQ said...

@ Unsilent Majority- I don't think I'm too off the mark in saying The Commodores may be too black a pick for many KSK commenters to pick, considering that someone thought Lil' Wayne was part of Dipset, and Artic Monkeys got taken before Wu-Tang. And no I'm not new.

@miamidiesel- Fugazi is still on the board, I didn't actually take them.

With that said, with the first pick on Day 2 of the KSK Mock Draft I select The Black Eyed Peas, just so I can look at Fergie's ass.

JAMMQ said...

oops . . . with the second pick, see above.

larry burns said...

nah dude i didn't think lil wayne was dipset, i typed that cause i was typing fas/was not thinking/am an idiot. but yes the commodores probably are too black for ksk.

has anyone taken the temptations?

edgordon said...

Creed, cause you get all the perks but you don't have all those pesky chores, like 'making decent albums', 'sounding good' or 'not being a total douche'

Rob I said...

Dave Matthews Band

I'll be despised by music critics, adored by idiot frat boys, and lusted after by 20 year old girls everywhere.

Steve said...

I take The Grateful Dead because hippies are fun. And my entire life would consist of hanging out with/being a god to hippies. Plus longetivity has to count for something in this draft.

Jason said...

Going out of the box, cause I'm late to the party-

I'ma be Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip.

Why, you ask?

1) They really do kick serious ass live.

2) Killer Whale Tank.

3) You have an entire rabid country of fans at your back. Sure, that country is Canada, but still- rabid fans.

4) All the good ones were taken.

Unsilent Majority said...

vitalogist- you were only about six hours late

to recap
1. the who
2. hendrix
3. marley
4. jefferson airplane
5. sly stone
6. rare essence
7. prince and the revolution

and my final pick...
8. the ramones

Luol Dang! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Luol Dang! said...

Was Not Was

Johnny said...

Motorhead! If Lemmy can get laid, that's a cadilac I'd like to take for a nice long ride!

Greg said...

I know I'm all over the place but what can I say I have an eclectic music taste. With my fifth pick I take Skid Row cause it’s 18 and life to go. That leaves me with

1) Wu Tang
2) Rage Against the Machine
3) The Dropkick Murphy’s
4) Sublime
5) Skid Row

I’m done for now but may make a couple supplemental steals picks later in the day.

BeaverFever said...

GWAR.

Jason said...

Queen.

Say what you want, they put on a hell of a show.

Plus, I already have the porn mustache, the leather gear, and the penchant for rough trade.

And yes, ladies, I'm still single...

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

The Faces

I win.

naptown drew said...

I'm going to take Nickelback. Here's why:

The lead singer is a certified douche. He needs replaced by something; anything really. Might as well be me.

The rest of the band are also Massengill Men. It's almost like hanging out with a fat dude. I'm going to look that much better when standing next to them.

And then, they sell a lot of records and tickets to hot chicks with no brains who would be easy to hook up with and kick them out of the bus afterward.

The only drawback to this pick would be having to live with no soul and remove any hearing mechanisms my body has developed to deal with the godawful music.

Oh well, I'll get one of my dumb hoes to translate for me.

The Pirate Sloth said...

My fifth and final pick:

Stevie Ray Vaughn

No, he is not a solo artist. He had SRV and Double Trouble. Why Stevie? Well, even though I die early, I will be known as one of the best (if not THE best) guitarists who ever lived. Who will be used by countless numbers as inspiration to pick up a guitar and start playing.

To recap my 5 -
1) Pink Floyd
2) Motley Crue
3) Beastie Boys
4) Tool
5) SRV and Double Trouble

I have some sleeper picks that I just can not believe have been dropped.

Rob I said...

Can we start a ban on people saying their musical taste is 'eclectic' and then listing the same shitty bands every single dirtbag white dude in America likes?

John S. said...

Any band Frank Sinatra was in.

by the way... I win.

Ryan said...

Hootie & the MotherFuckin' Blowfish:

I may suck at music, but I'd be a damn site awesome at life. I'd have made a shit-ton of money 13 years ago from one song. Now all I have to do is play one show a year, do a special for the Golf Channel, and drink beer on the beach all day. yep.

Rob I said...

Radiohead

To make up for my last crapola pick. I'll have a wonky eye and basically be a shut-in, but I'll be an artistic genius so go fuck yourself.

John S. said...

and... just to comply with the rules.. I will go with "The Tommy Dorsey Band" so I am naming a band, and not just a solo artist.

Maggie said...

Prince and the New Power Generation.

...Seriously, no one? It's friggin' Prince, yo.

Sleeper Pick? The Replacements.

Jason said...

maggie wins.

Wormfather said...

How the fuck did I end up late to this.

Incubus, I'd get to smoke weed all day and fuck hot cali chicks all night, and if I got bored I coudl go surfing with the band.

BeaverFever said...

social distortion. great band.

Enrique said...

I'm gonna pick Stone Temple Pilots - I don't mind being thought of as one of the best rock singers of the 90's and spending most of my time getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out an album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album,

Swolestice said...

Aerosmith sucks balls. I can't believe anyone would pick them that early.

No bonus points for receiving social security and wearing leather pants at the same time.

Swolestice said...

Hey, Larry Burns, booo-fucking-hooo. You want to know what tired is... I'm tired because I have a 'drinking problem' that often finds me blacked-out on Wednesday nights.

Seriously, how damn hard is it to make ONE pick at a time folks.

Assuming no one has picked this group yet, I've got to go with Wu-Tang. Why? Because then I'd get to say shit like this on an album:

"I'll fuckin, I'll fuckin sew your asshole closed, and keep feeding you and feeding you, and feeding you, and feeding you"

the ghost of boris yeltsin said...

Only a day late or so, but here goes:

1) THE CARS

never mind the music (yeah, i've only heard "Drive", and I'm not interested in hearing any more of that kind of bull), but Ric Ocasek met, plowed, and later married Paulina Porizkova in her prime.

Also, Ocasek probably had some groupie tail earlier, and was married twice before this lady.

Saw Paulina on Colbert Report some time ago and she is still hot. There's something about russian ladies that can't be described.

I bet the couple even has some $$$ in the bank, since paulina was a super model and ric was/is a singer/producer.

Naptown drew, nice choice, since you got the former creed pick with it. In my opinion, they're the same band, disagree if you will. Just wait for my next pick...

Still waiting for some sick, twisted fuck to pick the jackson five.

Nowhereman said...

Going with Interpol. Glamorous indie rock and roll, indeed.

naptown drew said...

Oh my God how did Prince fall that far. Hail Maggie.

coolbreeze said...

Santana Blues Band. I'd get to be Carlos. How cool would that be?

Awesome that The Time was drafted so high. Great pick..I'm jealous

Jackin'4Beats said...

Boogie Down Productions. How could anyone forget the crew from the South Bronx, the south, south bronx?

To them I'm like an idol
some type of entity
In everybody's rhyme they wanna mention me?
Or rather mention us, me or scott la rock
But they can get bust get robbed, get dropped
I dont play around nor do I f*** around
And you can tell by the bodies that are left around
When some clown jumps up to get beat down
Broken down to his very last compound
See how it sounds? a little unrational
A lot of mcs like to use the word dramatical!
Fresh for 88, you suckas...

I WIN!!!!

dick_gozinia said...

How the fuck did I get DURAN DURAN with the ~200th pick. All their fans were girls!

Winner, winner. Chicken dinner.

John John The Bastard said...

Hatebreed

HoneyNut said...

Long time reader, first time poster. But I was compelled...

The Yardbirds

I get to share a stage with Beck, Page, AND Clapton, and my band is mentioned in all Zeppelin discussions?

I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with the 1990's era version. By then, I'm out.

Greg said...

@ Sam I

Because you are an uneducated douche and don't know the difference between Eclectic and Eccentric let me shine some light on the subject for you.

Eclectic - adjective - selecting what seems best of various styles or ideas
Eccentric - adjective - deviating from the recognized or customary character, practice, etc.; irregular; erratic; peculiar; odd: eccentric conduct; an eccentric person.

So in conclusion if I had I called my music taste and my picks Eccentric you would have an argument. However the fact that my picks spanned various music genres as well as eras I would claim that using the word eclectic would be more then appropriate.

Greg Schuler said...

Godspeed! You Black Emperor (or wherever they have the exclamation point these days).

Razor3 said...

mr irrevalent picks......
IRON BUTTERFLY!!!!

1 song, you didn't have to know what the words are & the drummer gives you enough time to go off stage an f**k a groupie or two

Dat RoRo Kid said...

I pick 2 Live Crew circa 1990 and I'll be Luke. Tell me that mo'fucka didn't bang mad ho's, do mad blow, smoke mad weed and fuck up the nation in a skillet.

Didn't see anyone guess Drew's pick. That's QOTSA, right?