This Week's KSK Mock Draft: Bands You Would Like To Have Been The Frontman For
Oh c'mon, you didn't expect us to take a week off without holding a little draft fun, now, did you? Lord knows you folks have earned it. Frankly, I'm stunned and delighted you folks cared that much. After all, reading KSK and NOT reading at all are fairly similar endeavors. To wormfather, otto man, grimey, and the rest of you fabulous KSK commenters out there, thanks for sticking around during a week where we were determined to not do anything at all.
This week's draft: Bands You Would Like To Have Been The Frontman For. Yes, I just dangled a preposition. Suck my balls. The rules: You can pick any band from any spot in time. This may not be your favorite band, just the band that would promise the awesomest life experience should you be the lucky asshole who fronted it. You sung. And possibly played the lead guitar. You did all the coke. And you accidentally nailed all the tranny groupies. If your frontman died young, so did you. Hip hop bands welcome. No solo artists. Once you pick a band, you must wait 10 picks to select another.
My first pick, of course, is Led Zeppelin. They aren't my favorite band. But who passes up the chance to violate women with a mud shark like Robert Plant did? No one, that's who.
And if you can name the band above, you get to bypass the 10-choice rule to make your next pick. But beware: I'll be picking them very soon. Because they fucking rule.
And if you pick REM, you are a fucking pussy.
241 comments:
Goddammit, Drew, you're too good--you knew we'd all click on the picture to see if that would give us a hint.
Anyway, after much thought I'm going to pick Guns N Roses. I'd love to go through life throwing tantrums, doing that weird snake dance, blowing off shows, look like a dreadlocked Mark McGwire, make people wait fifteen years for a follow-up record, and just one chance to scream from the stage in front of 50,000 drunk Europeans "DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE, BABY! AND I CAN STILL BANG MODELS!"
Black Sabbath leaving me as Ozzy Osbourne. Who doesn't want to piss on Texas? And eat bats. And choke my wife. Plus, you took Led Zeppelin already, you bastard.
The Rolling Stones
John Lennon, because I have always wanted to be bigger than Jesus.
And if you say Paul was the leader of the Beatles I will fucking cut you.
The Who. Nobody rocks like The Who.
Parliament/Funkadelic
I can't think of much that would be more fun than that.
fuck
Aerosmith
No fucking doubt.
bonus points for still being alive
Queen! I don't care if Freddie was gay, he was the fucking man. And I've always wanted to rock out on "Another One Bites The Dust".
The Black Crowes.
PS: I think the mystery band is The Replacements.
The doors, because i like being naked in public
The Time....they all could play, were funky as hell, got the Prince falloff and you have a valet on stage in Jerome. And you didn't need to sing well to do it.
Oooh, someone picked the Time. Very nice.
I do believe I'll be selecting Roth-era Van Halen next.
Even though Roth is clearly gay.
Spinal Tap. The thought of simply exploding on stage puts this one over the top. Goodnight Cleveland!!
Pearl Jam...
Being the guy who drinks on stage...mumbles the stories behind every song and getting laid by any girl you see fit...Sounds good to me
so am i the only one whois taking rappers.
I am totally not doing a break down for this by the way
OK mine would be
Jay-Z
Saigon
Bon Jovi
Springstein
(Yes i am from jersey why do you ask?)
Lil Wayne
Fucking Metallica. Fuck Yeah. I actually got a pick I wanted in one of these instead of some BS value pick late in a round
Pink Floyd.
Who else got away with THAT many drugs and THAT much craziness? Besides the Beatles possibly. And Zeppelin.
BDD - is that Pearl Jam in the photo?
the grades for last draft can be found at my blog, just click my name you will find it if you want.
U2. Who cares if Bono is a self-righeous ass; I wanna rock out on a downtown rooftop until the LAPD shows up to shut me down.
larry burns- no solo artists allowed, these are bands. bruce and bon jovi work but you have to pick one of them.
Seeing as how it's been ten picks, I'm taking The Jimi Hendrix Experience.
as my other band once said, I hope I die before I get old.
I did not read the rules at first:
g-unit
drama kings
abandoned nation
dipset
hey um to be fair you took a girl last draft if i remmeber. and i just modified, i take those since no one else is going rap here.
my order would be
1.dipset (for lil wayne)
2. abandoned nation(for siagon)
3. drama kings (for papoose)
4. g unit (for yayo)
pirate sloth- there are a few others depending on what you meant by "get away with"
BDD - that's not Sugar in the photo, is it?
1st pick: Creedence CLearwater Revival. I don't care how bad Fogerty sounds today.
and i rescinded that pick.
weezy is Cash Money not Dipset, he's from New Orleans not Harlem like Cam'ron.
take some time, compose yourself.
motorhead
Damnit, I got to go board my plane. I'm gonna just drop 2 bands right quick, before flying home.
- Motley Crue
- Beastie Boys
For Beastie, its just the sheer fun of being a Beastie.
For Motley Crue - 80's hair rock bands nailed every single groupie that threw pussy at them - and these 4 did it more than anyone else.
2nd pick, since the Beasties are taken, I will go with the Police.
larry burns. are you fucking retarded? pick ONE band.
and the drama king is kayslay!
AC/DC. Although being Bon would be nice if I was feeling a little warm today, I'd want to be Angus.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for Pick #2. I may be too high to make the rest of my picks.
Three Six Mafia. Why? Have you seen adventures in Hollyhood. Funniest show ever. Especially when they brought out that white guy with the mean dustasche
I rescind my previous pick and take Cream.
Man did Clapton do his best work when he was strung out on heroin
Digital Underground.
Yep, it's a stretch in the early rounds, the kids will be re-discovering my one song for years to come. Plus in a 69 my Humpty nose will tickle your rear.
Oasis. I get to be a giant waste of talent and it's totally acceptable. I also get to be a complete prick to everybody for as long as I damn well please.
ABBA. Not as gay as you think, Bjorn Ulvaeus plowed through the Blond on the way to an unending supply of Sweden's Finest - and still has brain cells left.
good oasis pick, shoopmonster, but i'll see your cocky brits and raise (lower?) you over a decade in years and call arctic monkeys. not the greatest band in the world, but to be 21ish and having the press calling your first album one of the top ten british albums of all time? that has a lot of possibilities.
devang- absolutely, but bruce did the singing for Cream
I'll take Bob Marley and the Wailers
Skynnyrd,
but I wish I could be Artemus Pyle instead of Ronnie Van Zant.
3rd pick...I take the Pussycat Dolls...just for the geometric possibilities. And as trade bait maybe.
Bad Brains
3rd pick: Tenacious D. Taking Spinal Tap in round 1 so smart I refuse to verbally concede it. Oh, wait.
The Clash
Fuck UM, you're right!! I'll still take them. Clapton was THE MAN!!
Didn't Winwood do "Can't find My way home"?
I <3 Ape!
2nd pick Allman Brothers.
devang- Winwood was in Clapton's other power-trio aptly named Powerhouse
ten pick buffer zone must be observed
UM, thanks. I'm losing it tonight.
REM
Fuck you, Drew.
Iggy Pop and the Stooges. I have no idea how he is still alive, but there's a great story of him getting cut by broken glass during a performance and squirting blood all over the place. Nobody rocks as hard as Iggy and he even looks like he's rocked too hard.
KISS- I couldn't imagine anything being more fun than being that over the top and that ridiculous.
311 - Nick Hexum
He banged Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls before she was famous, not to mention the copious amounts of booze, weed, psuedo hippy chick groupies, etc.
And they have a great live show.
Jefferson Airplane. Always a shaky group but Marty Balin was there when it mattered.
Also, fuck Larry Burns for:
(a) a complete incapability to follow SIMPLE rules
(b) giving me a C+ because he's gay for Bono and Zach Braff
(c) seriously, could the rules BE any simpler?
iron maiden ! eddie lives.
Rob,
He also gave Jersey a bad name.
4th pick...the Eagles...they did enough drugs in the 70's to run with any group and they are still around.
No Doubt, just so I could sex up Gavin Rossdale without fear of serving jail time.
Whoever could pull him out of me would be crowned King of England. Mmm hmmm...
khungus- and to think you were off to such a promising start.
sometimes it takes me a minute to remember that bulger in my pants isn't a dude.
I was going to pick No Doubt so that I could say that I have touched Gwen Stefani's naughty bits.
UM - Maybe I should have a boob icon to help you remember?
Maybe I should have a boob icon to help you perverts?.
Fixed.
The E-Street Band. Hey, I'm King of New Jersey!
couldn't hurt
wolfmother-
I wouldn't mind fucking shredding and pretending I'm bat shit insane for my wage 3 hours a night. Their lead singer changes guitars after everysong and says shit like this, " 'elo buhmeenghum, some of you have been there before. the wolfmother certainly has. This song is called "flight of the eagle." Then the guitar tech hands him a white double strat.
No one, really!?!? Ok, I'll do it.
3rd pick Nirvana
So what if I had to bang Courtney Love and off myself? Argue with me all you want, but Nirvana changed the face of music. You say Pearl Jam, I say Nirvana.
no one, really?
Violent Femmes.
everyone of you mother-fuckers knows every word to Kiss Off, Blister in the Sun, etc.
Elvis Costello and the Attractions
I want to be brash and cocky and Irish and then go on to record easy listening records with Burt Bacharach.
Thin Lizzy. I get to be a man of dark complexion (which I'm not) who is Irish (which I'm also not) and I get to play the bass player (which, again, I'm not).
my bad wit weezy
io took multiple bands cause i figured no one would take those,
kayslay is the 'label' under whihc papoose is. although he has never had an official album.
Sure, Nirvana changed the face of music. We went from celebrating guys who did blow and fucked bitches to tortured artist pussies who majored in English at Sarah Lawrence and wine about being misunderstood. Picking Nirvana is a pick for Moby. Cobain tured are front men into weirdo pussies.
I'm not sure how far Drew's rules extend... but I'm tempted to say N*SYNC -- Britney in her prime, then a solo album before nailing Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel.
It would be worth the ignominy of the music.
rob i tht was my view i happen to love US if you hate them i can see where you are coming from, i did not follow the rules because id did not fele like continuosly checking my bad on that.
Talking Heads.
David Byrne gets away with some weird shit.
Damn you CC, that was my next pick.
ignore my previous picks i rescind them all starting again.
abandoned nation.
I don't give a shit about his self loathing angst. I just liked the fact that he used it as fodder for some pretty good music.
5th pick - Earth, Wind and Fire.
I'll take Sly and the Family Stone.
Name the lead of another band that had more fun and showed up to roughly 25% of his concerts. I love that crazy bastard.
for the record drama king is kayslay's nickname because his mixtapes are the conduit for all the drama between rappers.
if you want weird - Jane's Addiction.
Yeah, Perry's a weird dude, but he's got his own summer festival that's filled with drugged-out neo-hippie chicks.
or you could be Dave Navarro - talk about weird! but he banged Carmen Electra AND Jenna Jameson.
UM i am aware that is why i used that name instead of kayslay, as drama king was the name under which more of it is published, but this is a sports blog and this is inane pointless argument which i may have been wrong about, so therefore if i am wrong my bad if i was right who cares.
The band in the picture is Husker Du, no?
And I would probably choose to front the Pixies.
Green Day.
Write some kick ass songs, get college pussy. Then write some kick ass songs with political overtone and get some 1970's bush, granola pussy.
But as a wise man once said. "The worst pussy I had, was still pretty good."
fair enough.
g-dnm it peple hurry up and pick i don't want to break the rules... again.
i gotta go to sleepm, ok everyone make fun of me but i am in highschool/ have to dress up tommorw/ have 2 tests/ am fucking tired from staying up late last night doing grading for last weeks draft.
Yep, these are your commenters!
Nine Inch Nails . . . you get to bang hot chicks over a span of
three different decades.
Smash tons of shit on stage and go completely out of your mind in the 90's, then say you've cleaned yourself up in the 2000's, all the while screwing the rest of the touring band out of any money they deserved. That would be hot!
Husker Du rocks. The Pixies were good, but I heard Black Francis is a pretentious prick, and he banged Kim Deal and she's a dog.
4th pick: Journey. Don't stop believin that you can hook up with desperate 20-somethings trying to relive their high school days. Hold on to that feelin...
Alice Fuckin' Cooper-
Invented shock rock, decapitated himself on stage, drug and alcohol addictions, got laid a lot, hung out w/ Lou Reed, mentored Dave Mustaine of Megadeth - who could shred harder than metallica, was funny in Wayne's World and finally his dick went soft and still is whipping everybody's ass in golf. I performed a guerilla show for him with my college band and he told me one day maybe his band will open up for my band. Our bass player lives in Mexico now, so it didn't happen.
Buddy Holly and the Crickets
My death will be widely considered the end of rock and roll and I will be immortalized in song by Weezer and on film by Gary Busey.
If I'm going down, I'm going down IN FLAMES.
The White Stripes.
In between the rock-groupie cuteness of Meg White and the iffy hookups with Renee Zellweger and Karen Elson, Jack White must have scored amazing tail. More importantly, at this moment in time no human on Earth shreds the axe like he does.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
get to wear a sock as your only item of clothing and still be cool.
If anyone takes Blue Oyster Cult (MORE COWBELL LOLLERSKATES) I will reach through the Internet and tear your larynx out.
Sex Pistols
Fuck you, you Nancys.
On the hip/hop side I'd have to say De La Soul or A Tibe Called Quest.
And the drummer's the one of the Pixies that pisses me off. Just seems like a pretentious bastard.
ape, enjoy your newly curvaceous spine and extreme vision.
I'm taking Rare Essence.
If you know you know, if you don't you don't.
wait a minute... the rules said "hip-hop bands" so...
The Roots.
I think I win.
I'm a little late to the party but I think I am ending up with 2 steals.
1) Wu Tang Clan
2) Rage Against the Machine
Wu-Tang Clan . . . for some reason white girls throw themselves all over these guys.
WTF!?!?
I personally detest them, but they really raked in the tail in the 80s and 90s.
Motley Crue.
Is it necessary for me to list Tommy Lee's 'accomplishments'?
N.W.A.
Cuz the only thing better than a band that gets chicks is a band that scares chicks AND gets chicks.
I also claim Ice Cube as the front man. Not Dre or Easy E.
Someone is going to get KC and the Sunshine band and it's going to be the sleeper pick o' the century!
New Kids On The Block . . . all girls between 13-30 at my disposal from 1989-1993. Then go on to produce behind the scenes and still bang uber-ass. The corniness, cheesiness, and complete gay-ness are major drawbacks, but it will all soon be forgotten when a massive train is being run on the tour bus.
Poison
I would take Bon Jovi for the massive amounts of money and the perfectly flocked hair, but JBJ has always been faithful to his wife.
Bret Michaels, however, just wanted to fuck teenage groupies.
@ rob i
nice pick
With my thir pick I select REO Spe ... shit what the fuck am I thinking ... I select The Drop Kick Murphy's (for some reason chicks dig the accordion)
STYX - Welcome To The Grand Illusion
velvet underground:
gang banging niko, a european model and holocaust survivor, must have been satisfying, and inventing alternative rock must feel pretty good, too.
good pick rick. they were on my list.
Murph and The Magic Tones - Nothing like scoring with the lonely chicks at The Holiday Inn
The Meters
Foo Fighters
actually Winwood and Clapton were in my pick
Blind Faith
along with Ginger Baker on Drums
The Revolution
come on people, step it up!
Why would anyone want to be Clapton? Who gives a fuck if he can play? He plugged into the marshall stack and rode the lightning, but he still was a heroin freak and his best work was about how he wished he could fuck George Harrison's wife.
Limp Biz ... damn it there I go again ... what I meant to say was Sublime
Keeping in line with the whole punk thing, NOFX . . . "Oy, Oy, Where the brews?"
jammq- i'll take dc punk over san fran punk any day.
clinton portis likes san fran punk more. Provides a better ambiance for the dogfights.
yeah right, Minor Threat is real dogfight music. besides, clinton's from the mississipp
Bee Gees
I get all the 70s Free Love pussy I want while making tons of disco cash, then move behind the scenes to cowrite and produce stupid pop songs that rake in dough for the rest of my life. Plus, my falsetto is better than anyone's normal voice, so eat that!
Opi = winner
Keep it up and I'll steal fugazi with the next pick.
btw, this artists work was on display at a friend's gallery a few months back. if you like the 80's punk scene in dc (henry rollins / ian mackaye) you might want to check it out if you like the idea of henry rollins working at hagen dazs
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2007/02/07/DI2007020701569.html
note: i do not condone the straightedge lifestyle in any way shape or form.
Genesis, Peter Gabriel Genesis of course.
the beach boys. 60s chicks in bikinis? Fuck yes. I bet they wrecked more pussy than the ladies from whippedass.com.
Fuck this, I need to go to bed. I'm making my next pick. Nobody is going to want this group anyway(too black for KSK) . . . The Commodores.
Get all that 1970's free love ass, then go on to a successful solo career as Lionel Richie in the '80's, with all the hookers, blow and booze you could ask for.
Of course it all comes back on you in the end and you end up with Nicole Richie for a daughter, because karma's a bitch.
Good to have you KSK guys back. Night.
(too black for KSK)
are you new?
Berlin, just so I can fuck Terri Nunn.
Public Enemy....the most important rap group in its history.
Fuck Fuck and Fuck again. What the hell, I missed a mock draft?
Dammit all to hell.
OK, since I missed like 140+ picks, I think I'm entitled to make 3 picks at 1:00am.
1) Living Colour - Cult of Personality Bitches!
2) Pantera - speed metal = plenty of poon tang
3) The Crystal Method - That track on the Matrix is borderline rave music and in all raves are X'd out chicks = plenty of tang.
Good night Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome back Gay Mafia.
drive by truckers- just because it would be fun to sing about growing up in north alabama, where i'm from.
Rare Essence = Go-Go Music = Cowbells down on the farm.
Wow, you are definitely from DC.
Not sure how they got this far down, but ZZ Top is a steal. Those beards must be filled with stories of women.
two catch up picks:
1) Weezer
2) Linkin Park
Brooklyn boy has the worst pics so far. You must absolutely hate music. Did you read the rules? It wasn't list two shitty bands.
bargain of the draft:
PEARL JAM
bitches!
Late to the party. Fuck.
Give me the Minutemen. If they're taken and I missed it, then the Afghan Whigs, please.
@don't you judge me
I already picked the Crue - you can't have them.
My next pick:
Tool
I can;t fucking believe no one picked Tool. I'd get to work with the best voice in Rock.
Ok, so I'm a little late to the draft, but I think my pick is not only great value, but one of the best picks overall:
Def Leppard
Super hot trim on both sides of the Atlantic, great cheesey songs (and by great I mean shitty), and constant joke material due to your handi-capable drummer.
I don't know shit about music, so I'm a little out of my element with this draft. That said, as its late at night (and I've been a true soldier throughout the Gay Mafia's hiatus this week), and the Wu-Tang Clan (my favorite group ever) and the Jimi Hendrix Experience (I've always dreamed of playing Machine Gun in a packed club) are off the board, I'm taking some other classics -- Sugarhill Gang (Rapper's Delight - 'nuff said), Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five (The Message - 'nuff said), and Run DMC (Run DMC - 'nuff said). Also, as my sleeper pick, I'm taking J.D. and the Straight Shot. For those of you who have no idea who the fuck that is, that's James Dolan's shitty-shitty blues group. Why do I pick them you ask? Because as much as I hate that fat fuck Dolan, the man OWNS THE FUCKING NEW YORK KNICKS (not to mention Madison Square Garden, the New York Rangers, and Cablevision). My greatest dream in life is to own the Knicks, and that dumb dick has them, ergo, I pick his group.
I just got back from an early showing of Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End. My advice to those of you who liked the first two movies? Watch the first two movies again this weekend, then make up your own ending to the series and pretend the third movie never happened (and if you didn't like the first two - kill yourself). I'll admit the third one had the charm of the first two in certain spots, but overall, it was a rambling, incoherent mess, just a fucking train-wreck of a movie, and a real waste of damn near three hours. In essence, its the latest third movie in a trilogy to be a huge letdown (following in the footsteps of recent busts like X-Men 3, Spiderman 3, Shrek 3, Terminator 3, Matrix Revolutions, and past disasters like Godfather III and Karate Kid III). In fact, that could be a good draft - third parts of trilogies that didn't blow. My pick? Probably Lord of the Rings - Return of the King. Rocky III doesn't count because the Rocky series now goes six movies deep, and the only other one that comes to mind at 2:30 in the morning is Shaft in Africa (can you really go wrong with a movie named Shaft in Africa?).
Glad to see KSK paid attention to our agony this week, and finally acknowledged our suffering and threw us a bone. And with that, I'm out.
Well, I know I took the Beatles more than six hours ago and missed about six rounds, so going shopping was a mistake. (And I am royally pissed that I people took Tool, Fugazi, the Black Crowes, PE, and the Roots. Especially Fugazi - that was going to be MY steal.)
And since I am posting after a fucking PotC review, I am taking three - you fuckers are sleeping.
Public Image Ltd. (Survive the punk movement - 80's free sex pre-AIDS - have hit song remade in 2006 by hot skanky French chicks)
Fishbone (Get a cool cane)
The Go-Gos - Lots of sex and coke with John Belushi. Hot.
With my fifth and final pick, I go with Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Really? You all picked the Pussycat Dolls before the Queen of Rock? Pathetic. This woman consumed enough alcohol and drugs to keep a South American country afloat for decades.
To recap:
1) CCR
2) Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
3) Tenacious D
4) Journey
5) Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Folk heroes, pot smokers, joke artists, 80s legends, and the top bitch. I retire in peace.
Top four value picks of this draft thus far were Beatles (clearly should have be 1), Def Leopard, Chili Peppers, and U2 (should have been second pick. Since I have missed like 200 picks, I am taking three, and I believe I win: (1) Phish, (2) Grateful Dead, (3) The Band. Plus my bonus pick: Black Flag. Talk about 4 bands that have enormous cult followings, do things their own way, and fucking do every drug known to man.
Wait, drop The Band, they are awesome but I just love that one song. My third pick instead is OUTKAST. I win 100%. Andre 3000 is cool as... [insert retarded sports center metaphor here]
Fuck, someone took Def Leppard. Well played.
And whoever guessed Husker Du gets a bonus pick.
I'll be taking Queens of the Stone Age now.
@ Unsilent Majority- I don't think I'm too off the mark in saying The Commodores may be too black a pick for many KSK commenters to pick, considering that someone thought Lil' Wayne was part of Dipset, and Artic Monkeys got taken before Wu-Tang. And no I'm not new.
@miamidiesel- Fugazi is still on the board, I didn't actually take them.
With that said, with the first pick on Day 2 of the KSK Mock Draft I select The Black Eyed Peas, just so I can look at Fergie's ass.
oops . . . with the second pick, see above.
nah dude i didn't think lil wayne was dipset, i typed that cause i was typing fas/was not thinking/am an idiot. but yes the commodores probably are too black for ksk.
has anyone taken the temptations?
Creed, cause you get all the perks but you don't have all those pesky chores, like 'making decent albums', 'sounding good' or 'not being a total douche'
Dave Matthews Band
I'll be despised by music critics, adored by idiot frat boys, and lusted after by 20 year old girls everywhere.
I take The Grateful Dead because hippies are fun. And my entire life would consist of hanging out with/being a god to hippies. Plus longetivity has to count for something in this draft.
Going out of the box, cause I'm late to the party-
I'ma be Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip.
Why, you ask?
1) They really do kick serious ass live.
2) Killer Whale Tank.
3) You have an entire rabid country of fans at your back. Sure, that country is Canada, but still- rabid fans.
4) All the good ones were taken.
vitalogist- you were only about six hours late
to recap
1. the who
2. hendrix
3. marley
4. jefferson airplane
5. sly stone
6. rare essence
7. prince and the revolution
and my final pick...
8. the ramones
Was Not Was
Motorhead! If Lemmy can get laid, that's a cadilac I'd like to take for a nice long ride!
I know I'm all over the place but what can I say I have an eclectic music taste. With my fifth pick I take Skid Row cause it’s 18 and life to go. That leaves me with
1) Wu Tang
2) Rage Against the Machine
3) The Dropkick Murphy’s
4) Sublime
5) Skid Row
I’m done for now but may make a couple supplemental steals picks later in the day.
GWAR.
Queen.
Say what you want, they put on a hell of a show.
Plus, I already have the porn mustache, the leather gear, and the penchant for rough trade.
And yes, ladies, I'm still single...
The Faces
I win.
I'm going to take Nickelback. Here's why:
The lead singer is a certified douche. He needs replaced by something; anything really. Might as well be me.
The rest of the band are also Massengill Men. It's almost like hanging out with a fat dude. I'm going to look that much better when standing next to them.
And then, they sell a lot of records and tickets to hot chicks with no brains who would be easy to hook up with and kick them out of the bus afterward.
The only drawback to this pick would be having to live with no soul and remove any hearing mechanisms my body has developed to deal with the godawful music.
Oh well, I'll get one of my dumb hoes to translate for me.
My fifth and final pick:
Stevie Ray Vaughn
No, he is not a solo artist. He had SRV and Double Trouble. Why Stevie? Well, even though I die early, I will be known as one of the best (if not THE best) guitarists who ever lived. Who will be used by countless numbers as inspiration to pick up a guitar and start playing.
To recap my 5 -
1) Pink Floyd
2) Motley Crue
3) Beastie Boys
4) Tool
5) SRV and Double Trouble
I have some sleeper picks that I just can not believe have been dropped.
Can we start a ban on people saying their musical taste is 'eclectic' and then listing the same shitty bands every single dirtbag white dude in America likes?
Any band Frank Sinatra was in.
by the way... I win.
Hootie & the MotherFuckin' Blowfish:
I may suck at music, but I'd be a damn site awesome at life. I'd have made a shit-ton of money 13 years ago from one song. Now all I have to do is play one show a year, do a special for the Golf Channel, and drink beer on the beach all day. yep.
Radiohead
To make up for my last crapola pick. I'll have a wonky eye and basically be a shut-in, but I'll be an artistic genius so go fuck yourself.
and... just to comply with the rules.. I will go with "The Tommy Dorsey Band" so I am naming a band, and not just a solo artist.
Prince and the New Power Generation.
...Seriously, no one? It's friggin' Prince, yo.
Sleeper Pick? The Replacements.
maggie wins.
How the fuck did I end up late to this.
Incubus, I'd get to smoke weed all day and fuck hot cali chicks all night, and if I got bored I coudl go surfing with the band.
social distortion. great band.
I'm gonna pick Stone Temple Pilots - I don't mind being thought of as one of the best rock singers of the 90's and spending most of my time getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out an album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album, getting wasted, getting caught, rehabbing, putting out and album,
Aerosmith sucks balls. I can't believe anyone would pick them that early.
No bonus points for receiving social security and wearing leather pants at the same time.
Hey, Larry Burns, booo-fucking-hooo. You want to know what tired is... I'm tired because I have a 'drinking problem' that often finds me blacked-out on Wednesday nights.
Seriously, how damn hard is it to make ONE pick at a time folks.
Assuming no one has picked this group yet, I've got to go with Wu-Tang. Why? Because then I'd get to say shit like this on an album:
"I'll fuckin, I'll fuckin sew your asshole closed, and keep feeding you and feeding you, and feeding you, and feeding you"
Only a day late or so, but here goes:
1) THE CARS
never mind the music (yeah, i've only heard "Drive", and I'm not interested in hearing any more of that kind of bull), but Ric Ocasek met, plowed, and later married Paulina Porizkova in her prime.
Also, Ocasek probably had some groupie tail earlier, and was married twice before this lady.
Saw Paulina on Colbert Report some time ago and she is still hot. There's something about russian ladies that can't be described.
I bet the couple even has some $$$ in the bank, since paulina was a super model and ric was/is a singer/producer.
Naptown drew, nice choice, since you got the former creed pick with it. In my opinion, they're the same band, disagree if you will. Just wait for my next pick...
Still waiting for some sick, twisted fuck to pick the jackson five.
Going with Interpol. Glamorous indie rock and roll, indeed.
Oh my God how did Prince fall that far. Hail Maggie.
Santana Blues Band. I'd get to be Carlos. How cool would that be?
Awesome that The Time was drafted so high. Great pick..I'm jealous
Boogie Down Productions. How could anyone forget the crew from the South Bronx, the south, south bronx?
To them I'm like an idol
some type of entity
In everybody's rhyme they wanna mention me?
Or rather mention us, me or scott la rock
But they can get bust get robbed, get dropped
I dont play around nor do I f*** around
And you can tell by the bodies that are left around
When some clown jumps up to get beat down
Broken down to his very last compound
See how it sounds? a little unrational
A lot of mcs like to use the word dramatical!
Fresh for 88, you suckas...
I WIN!!!!
How the fuck did I get DURAN DURAN with the ~200th pick. All their fans were girls!
Winner, winner. Chicken dinner.
Hatebreed
Long time reader, first time poster. But I was compelled...
The Yardbirds
I get to share a stage with Beck, Page, AND Clapton, and my band is mentioned in all Zeppelin discussions?
I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with the 1990's era version. By then, I'm out.
@ Sam I
Because you are an uneducated douche and don't know the difference between Eclectic and Eccentric let me shine some light on the subject for you.
Eclectic - adjective - selecting what seems best of various styles or ideas
Eccentric - adjective - deviating from the recognized or customary character, practice, etc.; irregular; erratic; peculiar; odd: eccentric conduct; an eccentric person.
So in conclusion if I had I called my music taste and my picks Eccentric you would have an argument. However the fact that my picks spanned various music genres as well as eras I would claim that using the word eclectic would be more then appropriate.
Godspeed! You Black Emperor (or wherever they have the exclamation point these days).
mr irrevalent picks......
IRON BUTTERFLY!!!!
1 song, you didn't have to know what the words are & the drummer gives you enough time to go off stage an f**k a groupie or two
I pick 2 Live Crew circa 1990 and I'll be Luke. Tell me that mo'fucka didn't bang mad ho's, do mad blow, smoke mad weed and fuck up the nation in a skillet.
Didn't see anyone guess Drew's pick. That's QOTSA, right?
Post a Comment