Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Finally, Someone Thought to Combine Alcoholism with NFL Fandom


The most devoted KSK stalkers are well aware that my birthday -- like the start of the NFL season -- is less than 4 months away, and for those of you who feel that maybe I don't spend enough time thinking about football or booze, may I encourage you to send me the special edition Seattle Seahawks bottle of Maker's Mark. And now, for the sic-alicious eBay description:

This bottle is from the maker’s mark NFL collectable series that was out in limited numbers per each team a few years back. Most of these bottles or in Seahawks fan collections & will not resurface in the collector market. Therefore, this is your chance to get one of these great looking Seahawk bottles. The dip is perfect & the runs look great.

In my limited experience, the runs never look great.

Other selling points here are the old-school Seahawk colors of royal blue and gray, rather than the monochromatic blue and neon green that's all the rage with precisely no one.

Also, take note that the bidding for a rare Seahawks edition of Maker's Mark is only $35. That's a pretty good deal, considering that you can fetch several hundred dollars if you use a Sharpie to change a tallboy of Steel Reserve into "Steeler Reserve." Ah, Pittsburgh: the Ohio State of the NFL.

72 comments:

Casual T said...

I hear Jerramy Stevens has a big stash of these! Give him a call.

Wormfather said...

In my experience everyone who drinks Maker's Mark is a
doucheba....ohhhhh, it all makes sense.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Tell the truth CC, you actually own almost all of the bottles in existence, don't you?

And you know you're jealous of the neon green gloves Qwest passed out to us last season.

Captain Caveman said...

Wormfather, where do you live? Maker's is the best widely available affordable bourbon.

Hate to say it, but you're out and out wrong. Paging Siobhan and people who know likker to back me up.

Big Daddy Drew said...

What does any of this have to do with pooping on towels?

Burnsy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Burnsy said...

My brother in Everett sent me a link to this and, while I love Maker's Mark (the family of my sorority big sister in college owned a large share of it), why not just melt your own candles and make your own before you peel off the wax and get blasted?

flubby said...

Nectar of the gods.

My favorite cocktail: Maker's + ice

devang said...

While I do prefer the single malt over nay other brown likker, I must say that Maker's on the rocks is pretty damn good.

Redhead said...

That's actually a good point burnsy - isn't the one thing that makes those bottle special the one thing keeping you from the actual liquor? You're going to have to destroy it to drink it anyway, might as well just make one yourself.

And while I'll admit to not knowing as much about bourbon as other liquors, I like Knob Creek.

devang said...

What does any of this have to do with pooping on towels?

Both are brown and one is good for you

Unsilent Majority said...

fuck ice, just give me that warm brown liquor.

Awful Chief said...

As a Makers Mark Ambassador, it is my duty to back up CC here. Wormfather, if you know of a better bourbon that I will just barely be able to afford like I can with Makers, let us hear it.
Mine too, Flubby. It's even nicer on ice than Reuniti.

devang said...

I need to go on a Bourbon Tour

Awful Chief said...

I wonder if they did one for the Lions, and if so, how it is distinguishable from the Seahawks bottle. Maybe Honolulu blue wax is easier to find than I'm imagining.

Burnsy said...

Actually BDD, my limited edition Dolphins bottle was made with scented candles. That scent? Poo.

Rob I said...

Where is my limited edition New York Giants bottle of Sambuca?

Wormfather said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa Mr. Caveman, no one's saying the crap is expensive, heck I'm a Johnnie Walker Black (green if they have it) on the rocks type of guy. All I'm saying is that when my dad used to drink it he was a douche, one of my frat brothers lived on the stuff, douche, one of my friends drinks it and thinks it makes him pretentious, douche.

In fact, for now on everytime someone orders a Maker's Mark, I'm ordering a salad with a side of olive oil, seeing as how I'll already have the vinegar.

/shutter

BoSox Siobhan said...

I'm here, albeit a little late to staunchly defend MM as the best affordable bourbon on the market. Hey - I dipped my own bottle when I was in Kentucky last year. It looks like shit, but I still haven't opened it. Kind of like how your mom used to put your really ugly art up in the fridge. I'm really proud of it.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Wolfmother may have a point...

I would venture that this is theory this is a ploy for the attention of female boozehounds that seem to regularly troll KSK in an almost cougaresque fasion.

Using in booze and football to get female attention would fall in the douchey/non-awesome category. Plus, its way out of line with misogyny being hilarious and all. I'm pretty sure that if KSK had a mission statement there would be something about being awesome.

For shame Man of Cave...

(Also, I'm waiting for the slam dunk joke about being too white to pick the obvious Hennessy & Hpnotiq giftset)

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

A theory that this is... Dyslexic am I.

BoSox Siobhan said...

Cougar?
Guilty as charged.

Jackin'4Beats said...

I don't know much about Maker's Mark, but I have had some Woodford Reserve and I must say that bourbon is the tits even though I am more of a cognac and dark rum aficionado.

What I don't get is why would you put wax on the cap just so you need to rip it off to get at the likker?

Captain Caveman said...

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Bourbon is fucking delicious, Maker's is good bourbon, and just because someone knows three allegedly douche-y people -- I say allegedly because this somebody was in a fraternity -- who drink it, it's a douche drink? Good thing this is on Blogger, because you people would be banned.

In conclusion, single malt scotch >>> Johnnie Walker.

Jason said...

The Lions are coming out with a commemorative bottle of Ripple- the screw top will be Honolulu blue and silver. The bottle is still full of chunks, though.

And if you can't get Blanton's, or Booker Noe, Maker's Mark is a perfectly cromulent bourbon.

BoSox Siobhan said...

Seriously. What right-thinking person doesn't like bourbon?

Big Daddy Drew said...

Are you people really arguing about kinds of alcohol? All alcohol is delicious and worthy of rapid consumption.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

What if there's is a brown stain on the label? (I drink a lot of 'shine.)

Wormfather said...

Quote "In my experience" that's my experence, take what you will, a grain of salt if you like.

But all and all...methinks thou dost protest too loudly.

One more thing, say what you will about me, but you's best not be talking shit about my boy Johnnie, maybe you didnt notice, but he's black.

Burnsy said...

Honestly, I've been at tailgates when we've had to run around and scrounge people's leftover Tequiza. Booze is certainly booze.

Captain Caveman said...

Wormfather: this is the last I'll speak of it. The bottom line is that out of nowhere, you insulted something beautiful and loved by many good people. Which is fine; we do that all the time. Where you misstepped is that you were ENTIRELY FUCKING WRONG.

Anyone who drinks any brown liquor straight or on the rocks automatically has redeeming qualities, and to call them a douche -- Mr Frat Boy -- is using a grave insult far too loosely.

Wormfather said...

@CC Aggreed.

Now I need to unwind with a nice cosmo or maybe an apple martini.

Otto Man said...

Funny, every Johnny Walker drinker I've ever met is a royal assclown.

If you're going to drink scotch, why don't you take off your skirt, put away the blended crap, and get a nice single malt. I'd recommend Cardhu in particular, or Balvenie.

Maker's is the standard for good, widely-available bourbon, though I tend to prefer Knob Creek if they have it. If you've got a little more cash, step up to Woodford Reserve or Basil Hayden's, then Baker's, and then the nectar of the gods known as Booker's.

My name is Otto Man and apparently I'm an alcoholic.

Wormfather said...

@otto Because I like johnnie's mellow body and sweet smooth finish, bitch.

...that' didnt come out right, lol.

BoSox Siobhan said...

BDD - You are, of course, right. Many kinds of boozey treats are delicious and it's important to keep an open mind.
I used to think I hated gin. Then I met Hendrick's which has since become a dear, lifelong friend.

Grimey said...

I'm just happy that Maker's Mark is making good use of the Dairy Queen dip-cone technology.

Robert said...

I was a scotch snob for the longest time, until about a year ago. I was at a concert, and the bartender asked me if I like bourbon. Not being born yesterday, I answered the affirmative.

He handed me a Maker's on the rocks that some schlub had ordered before his credit card got declined. Maker's is indeed tasty, but even moreso when it's free.

devang said...

Hey CC, didn't we do this already?

MDZ said...

Is Maker's really much cheaper than Knob for everyone else? I can get a fifth of Maker's for $20 and a fifth or Knob for $22. Granted both beat the crap out of the cheap stuff like Beam or Early Times. Also Siobhan, when it comes to gin have you tried Plymouth? It's the nectar of the gods.

Redhead said...

Hey, hey - no making fun of the Johnnie Walker drinkers! For a nice, everyday scotch it can't be beat. I'm not going to be recommending it as a great scotch to anyone who knows about the subject, but in a bar, Black Label on the rocks is the way to go.

BoSox Siobhan said...

I'm open to trying something new, mdz. Do you think Plymouth will be readily available in DC? I don't live in a fancy neighborhood; the liquor stores tend to stock lots of single 40's and Thunderbird.

devang said...

@redhead,

JW Black on the rocks is fine for everyday consumption since single malts can get expensive.

@bosox siobhan
does that stop you from drinking?

Chuckles said...

How has this not become a draft?

I would have said mock draft, but the word "mock" has no place at all in this conversation.

MDZ said...

I'd expect you can find it in DC (the first time I had it was in Arlington) because it's stocked in the middle of nowhere Indiana. I wouldn't call it that fancy, ~$25/bottle, it's just some good gin.

Wormfather said...

...in other news leopards just dropped about 50 places on my kill list

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceQr90C0Em0

...unless you want to put a "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle" spin on the video.

John S. said...

@BDD - Are you people really arguing about kinds of alcohol? All alcohol is delicious and worthy of rapid consumption.

Spoken like a married man with a child.

/married
//with two kids

John S. said...

by the way...

Talisker is the way to go for all people who consider themselves as persons having both an X and a Y chromosome.

sledgod said...

How dare you argue with Captain Caveman? HE IS A COMBAT VETERAN!

Ben Conant said...

I don't wanna live in a world where you have to get up before 9:30 to make Jerramy Stevens jokes.

ColeTrain said...

Johnny Black is an excellent bar drink when served on the rocks, or with a single rock.

If you have to go single malt, I side with The Glenlevit. Especially since their City Links tour in Atlanta offered ALL THE SCOTCH YOU COULD DRINK.

Maker's is good, but for its chik appeal, I am lovin' the Early Times.

Jason said...

Gin- also consider Boodles. It's like 16-20 bucks a bottle, depending. Full of lovely junipery goodness!

swing4 said...

Finally, Someone Thought to Combine Alcoholism with NFL Fandom

This guy?
http://deadspin.com/sports/nfl/come-on-ask-him-about-chad-pennington-233560.php

(Note the glass in his hand.)

Signal to Noise said...

I can't believe people are even speaking ill of Maker's Mark.

Save your booze ire for Thunderbird or Mad Dog, if you have to speak badly of anything alcoholic.

Oh, and the Booze Draft needs to be had this week.

BoSox Siobhan said...

The Booze Draft is a capital idea!

SlickBomb said...

Drew is 100% right. All alcohol is worthy of consumption. For Christ sake, it was no less than a year ago I was getting twisted off Colt 45, and getting weird looks from the professionals who shared my train home on the daily commute. Do you think I really care that Wild Irish Rose has been called "A Republican plot to kill the homeless"? Madness. If it doesn't blind you or make you sterile, drink down, young man.

yesiamahooker said...

Another Maker's Mark Ambassador here to tell you that it is a wondrous elixir. in fact i once drank a fifth of it and cured myself of an ear infection. Now if big worm had name checked Johnnie Blue then I might be impressed.

That being said, Van Winkel Special Reserve is the best bourbon ever made.

yesiamahooker said...

What's the word?
Thunderbird
What's the price?
A dollar twice
What's the reaction?
Satisfaction

The Pirate Sloth said...

Hey, at least Makers Mark is better than Wild Turkey.

*note: Wild Turkey and I are no longer on good terms. The Turkey seems to think that when we associate together - that I need to find things to pee on, hump, punch, poop on, throw, puke on, or fist. These extra-curricular activities are hard to explain the next morning to any of the following, in order: girlfriend, mother, police, grandmother. And the phrase "It seemed like a good idea at the time" isn't a sufficient explanation to any of those.

Wormfather said...

@yesiamahooker, Johnnie Blue and I have a sordid history.

A while back my fiance proposed an idea, she'd buy me a big bottle of Johnnie Blue but when it was gone I had to stop drinking for a month (she thinks (I know) that I'm an alcoholic).

Well I took the bait thinking that I'd make that bottle last for months if not years...well a week later I was on my first and last sobrity stint of my life and ever since I've hated the taste of Mr. Blue.

Wormfather said...

@ The Pirate Sloth

That reminds me of a Dave Attell routine where he talks about the wonders of Jack Daniels and it's ability to make you black out or as he liked to call it "time travel".

So true, so true.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Yea, thats why me and Jack Daniels don't hang out anymore either. Time Traveling and the events that it causes are hard to explain to the same people I mentioned above.

My Insignificant Life said...

For all you Maker's Mark fans who also happen to be Barbaro fans, e-bay has something special for you.

http://cgi.ebay.com/MAKERS-MARK-BARBARO-KENTUCKY-DERBY-VIP-BOTTLE-MAKERS_W0QQitemZ230126895979QQihZ013QQcategoryZ13916QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

KillBillWirtz said...

Kissing Suzy Kolber Comment Board : The Palestine of Hard Liquor

Jackin'4Beats said...

What's the word?
Thunderbird
What's the price?
A dollar twice
What's the reaction?
Satisfaction


@yesiamahooker

That is some funny shit right there.

J.L. White said...

Wow, I now know what I going to be drinking, either when I go to toast a Seahawks championship, or if I win the lottery. Or when it's Saturday.

BoSox Siobhan said...

@Jackin'4Beats:
Ask him where he learned that bit of modern poetry.

millamo said...

Maker's hot toddy > chicken soup, ecchinea, vitamin c, whatever. cold relief plus tasty drunken goodness.

Jackin'4Beats said...

@yesiamahooker

Ok, spill the beans, where did you learn that mighty fine bit of modern poetry?

BoSox Siobhan said...

His dad, who is also my dad.

Jackin'4Beats said...

@siobhan

Your Dad is coooooooool.

So is my Dad. He brings this back for me when he comes back from vacation.

The Destroyer said...

My dad always tells me that any man who doesn't scoff at my regular Maker's Mark on the rocks is a keeper.

If I have to choose something other than Maker's, I usually go with Bushmills or Redbreast- all thanks to that rust belt tolerance to alcohol.

fatty said...

CC, if you like Maker's, you'll love Black Maple Hill. Very few bars carry it, but you can find it in alot of stores. Stay away from anything younger than 14 years (I myself go with 16 and older), and you'll thank me.