Friday, May 18, 2007

This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft – Celebrities You Would Like To Fight

I’ve been wanting to do a fight draft for ages. And at last, here it is. The rules here are a bit complex, so let’s get right to them. This must be a famous person everyone knows, currently living and as they are right now. Picking them means you fight them, hand-to-hand. One on one. No weapons. No hired goons. No holds barred. And you aren’t guaranteed of beating them. This is real life fighting. If you maim or kill them, you will not be charged with a crime. If you get maimed or killed, your medical care is paid for. No picking Deadspin commenters or that one asshole in your class. No one cares. Pick only one celebrity. After that, you must wait 10 selections before you pick another.

One last rule: If you are a man, you cannot pick a female.
We’d all like to pick Paris Hilton, hold her down, and beat the fucking tar out of her. But I’m against violence on the ladies, so you gotta pick a guy. My pick? The obvious:


Chief Poopy Pants himself.

Bin Laden has the reach on me, no doubt. But he’s old, and his kidneys are failing. I could take him. I’d pull that fucking beard for all it was worth. He’s also got a big nose. I bet he’s a bleeder. Bring it, Osama. I’ll hit you so hard I’ll kill your whole family. All 57 brothers and sisters of yours. Bitch.

NOTE: I did a post for the Name of the Year blog today on the great Destiny Frankenstein. Check it out.

418 comments:

Shoopmonster said...

I will do the world a favor and select Joe Buck. I just hope that during the fight he says "that is a DISGUSTING act."

McBain said...

Athletes are out of the question because I would get my ass kicked by most all of them.

I'm taking Wilmer Valderrama.

Unsilent Majority said...

Nancy Grace

didn't even have to think about it.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Jesus, UM, did you not READ THE FUCKING RULES?

grungedave said...

Oh, joy - what an awesome b-day gift this will be:

I pick John Travolta. Fuck him.

(passing up the obvious Tom Cruise choice)

BeaverFever said...

George Clooney. He just seems like a total dick

Unsilent Majority said...

Nancy Grace isn't a woman. I believe she's some sort of asexual alien.

lieutenant winslow said...

really? no one?
DUBYA
i win!

Unsilent Majority said...

/self imposed 1 round suspension

Jonathan said...

Oh this is easy, Karl "MC" Rove. I would kick his Norwegian Ass back to the North Sea.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Who picks George Clooney? You play baccarat with Clooney. You don't fight him.

mamacita said...

Elizabeth Hasselbeck. I'd snap her bony ass in two.

Captain Caveman said...

I'll take Schrutebag. A bit of a reach, but it's an easy win and I'd become a folk hero.

Publius said...

David Stern- I hate that cocksucker

miamidiesel said...

since i can't take paris hilton, i'll take dr. phil... how i loathe that pretentious douche bag

Zac said...

I pick Tim McCarver.

The Middle Man said...

Who is Alex Trebeck?

Canadian shitfuck

Russ said...

Dick Vitale - everytime I hear him, I just want to punch him in the face.

Burnsy said...

Winslow, keep an eye out for Secret Service. I pick the douchebag who plays Turtle. By the end of this I will have picked the entire cast of Entourage.

Shoopmonster said...

Jimmy Fallon. The more he laughs, the harder I beat.

lieutenant winslow said...

bill o'reilly

what? he's 6'5 you say? pfffffft. it aint the size of the dog in the fight, my friends, its the size of the fight in the dog.

Big Daddy Drew said...

I'll take Kim Jong Il.

I'll have all evil terrorist leaders sewn up soon.

5150 said...

Bill Belichik.

Ed in Westchester said...

Bill Simmons.

Oh wait, it's supposed to be a celebrity.

Stephen A. Smith. I'd kick his ass and eat all his cheezy poofs.

Ed in Westchester said...

5150 - nice pick.

empee said...

Jared from Subway.

God I hate that guy, what kind of company chooses such a terrible spokesman?

Zac said...

Joe Morgan is now taken...I have a lock on annoying baseball announcers now.

Don't You Judge Me said...

Michael Moore - that fat fuck traitor needs a serious beat-down.

BDD - I think you need to amend the rules to EXCLUDE US political figures or this is going to get ugly.

Robert said...

I want someone who will A) go down easy and B) make me feel like I'm doing the world a service by rearranging his face.


Andy Dick


And I'll have Rob Schneider for dessert.

Jason said...

Ann Coulter. I believe I'm still within the rules here.

Brent said...

"your a jackass.. just cause your name is lieutenent you think you know something about politics and/or the military.. he'd kick your ass anyway faggot"

Burnsy said...

Damnit, Don't You. Can I at least kick him when he's bleeding on the ground?

I take Larry the Cable Guy.

The Middle Man said...

My second pick is Ryan Seacrest.

60 million votes have been recieved...you're a douche.

"I felt like destroying something beautiful. "

Ted Valentine said...

I would like to utterly kill Kirsten Dunst*.

*Vampires are not women.

Burnsy said...

That's a hate crime, Middle Man.

Shoopmonster said...

Al Gore. Partially for marrying such a cunt and partially to see if I can get a rise out of him.

Unsilent Majority said...

Steve Javie

miamidiesel said...

ronald reagan... oh fuck, he's already dead? well then, i'll go with dick cheney, and finish the job that heart disease can't seem to do

lieutenant winslow said...

selig or theisman... selig or theisman...

FUCK, man this is tough.


okay, Selig

Ed in Westchester said...

Tim McCarver.

Fucking know-it-all prick.

BeaverFever said...

i don't play baccarat. craps is the only game to play. clooney is a douche, maybe it has something to do with the fact that my wife thinks he is the hottest guy on the planet.

with my second pick i take the american hating, commie loving hugo chavez from venezula.

nice pick with mihael moore.

John S. said...

Seriously?

This draft is clearly inspired by Fight Club and no has taken Brad Pitt yet?

I will fight Brad Pitt AND Ed Norton at the same time.

Jason said...

Sweet, my sleeper pick is still there!

In the 2nd round, I choose Chris Berman. "With leather? How about I just go medieval on your ass?"

Brent said...

Curt Schilling... cause 1) he talks shit on barry bonds 2) he plays for the red sox 3) he used fake blood to look tough 4) hes fat

i'd also like to beat the piss out of everyone who doesnt like Barry and also everyone that plays for the red sox

Jackin'4Beats said...

Coach K. God that guy reeks of smug douchiness. And I'd kick his Blue Devil ass back to the stone age.

The Young Nucleus said...

Stuart Scott. Booyah.

Burnsy said...

We're already repeating picks? That usually doesn't happen until at least 137 comments.

Tuck Fexas said...

Lindsay Lohan...fucking media whore

John John The Bastard said...

Ty Pennington - When I finish it would be Extreme Makeover, Face Edition

Shoopmonster said...

RuPaul. Why? Because she's a man, baby.

Don't You Judge Me said...

Sanjaya and all other reality TV pseudo-celebrities.

this reality shit has got to stop.

Biggus Rickus said...

George Lucas, for raping my and every other Star Wars ner..er, fan's childhood memories.

TVBrain said...

Art Modell.

Burnsy said...

Tough day, Brent? Vent that rage.

I pick Nick Saban for Dolphins fans everywhere.

Jason said...

Nice pick, nucleus. Remember to always come at him from his left.

grungedave said...

well, hell... I'll just name my roster the "Threat to Scientology"

... and I'll knock the fuck outta Tom Cruise once I'm done with Travolta's fat ass.

Jackin'4Beats said...

David Spade. I'm cornering the market on short smug bastards.

larry burns said...

for all fellow os fans:

peter angelos

miamidiesel said...

jerry seinfeld

Most Overrated Show Ever.

his show was gawd-awful and not funny, yet people continue to slob his knob to this day... i will never understand his appeal

lieutenant winslow said...

oh, and dear brent,

its mostly the fact that i read with leather that makes me think i know something about the military

Big Daddy Drew said...

Lupica.

max said...

OJ Simpson needs a good beatdown with a 5-Iron.

Shoopmonster said...

Johnny Depp. I don't mind his work, but as a person I cannot stand him.

BeaverFever said...

i haven't taken any sports related celebrities yet so i will take dallas mavs owner mark cuban. comes off like the nerdy rich kid that buys his friends and he always seems to be bitching about something.

not to mention the way he cried like a little girl during the mvp presentation for dirk. any man that would cry over something like that needs his ass kicked.

5150 said...

Can I finish what Horry started and take care of Nash?

Greg said...

I take that cheese eating rat bastard fat fuck Roger Clemens ... Gay Rod is a close 2nd

Jason said...

Third round-

Donald Trump.

Don't You Judge Me said...

Richard Gere - for the same reason as Clooney.

Plus, how dare he offend India with a kiss?

to steal/paraphrase a line from Caveman:
India, now with thermonuclear weapons!

TVBrain said...

Rush Limbaugh

Big Daddy Drew said...

I'm still allowing all political figures. If you want to start a pointless flame war over it, feel free.

Tuck Fexas said...

Al Davis...need I say more

Wormfather said...

Al Sharpton, I swear that dude has simultaneously set black people and hip hop back at least 20 years. Yes I'm an educated nigga, nigga, feel my fists of unappologetic ignorance.

Burnsy said...

Does Rosie O'Donnell count as a man? Nevermind, she could kick my ass. I pick Joakim Noah. Those knees could pop like a 12-year old hymen.

peb said...

For years I wanted to beat the hell out of Bob Costas. Just for being the most pseudo-intellectual overly smug sportscaster there was. However, thanks to that abominable "Tuesdays With Morrie" book, I think we have a new king of the pricks. Mitch Albom, you're going down.

Biggus Rickus said...

Jim Belushi, for reasons that are obvious.

Rob I said...

Zach Braff. That fucking hipster douche! I'd like to physically remove his voicebox with my hands.

The Middle Man said...

Damn you, john john. Well played.

My third pick is Dan Shaughnessy and Ron Borges.

And yes I can pick both of them. Niether one is a man on their own.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Great call on Lupica. And the Donald was my next choice, but I'll take Bruce Bowen, because if he kicked me in the ankle, I would have split open his face worse than Nash's nose.

That guy is a pussy.

larry burns said...

2nd round

dane cook

am i missing something, hes not even remotely funny.

Burnsy said...

Damn you, Larry. This is like a receiver run in my fantasy draft.

Big Daddy Drew said...

I'm taking K-Fed.

We're moving in to douche territory.

Jason said...

Larry Burns, need help? I'll give up a pick to help beat that guy down.

Ryan said...

Sharpton inspired, i'll take jesse jackson. He's just as bad, take the 2 of them out and the world is now a place that doesn't bitch about oppression.

Shoopmonster said...

Peyton Manning. I know that he is a rather large athlete, but he still comes off like a ninny and I can fight dirty. As long as this results in no more TV time for him, all is well. I don't care how bad I get beaten up.

Prada said...

I'd like to introduce Skip Bayless' teeth to a curb.

Burnsy said...

I am butchering the spelling of this name, but it's nothing compared to what I'd do to him.

Shia La Boof. Dead.

lieutenant winslow said...

mel gibson.

oh, how i would enjoy that

Don't You Judge Me said...

Leonardo DiCaprio - same reason as Clooney, Gere. sense a trend?

Seriously, his environmental pontificating and on-air fellating of Al Gore makes him deserve a serious ass-kicking.

John S. said...

Tim Robbins

One less Hollywood pussy to tell me how to live my life. Oh yeah... the beating will be thad bad.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Pat Buchanan. The world would be a much better place without that hate monger spreading fear. And he can join Falwell in that tasty place once I'm done with him.

What? Too soon?

Wormfather said...

BBD Excelent pick, I hate that prick (Lupica), I stopped reading the daily news because of that asshat.

Last week I traded my 3 and 5th round picks so now I will select...

Singer from the state of gayness Josh Groban

And also Kiefer Sutherland, not because I hate the show, but because it's time someone kicked his ass, I mean seriously!

John S. said...

and by "thad", I mean "that

Greg said...

Middle Man great call on Larry Lucchico's red headed boy friend ... with my 2nd pick Stat Boy from PTI he annoys the fuck out of me

miamidiesel said...

maybe only devang will understand these picks, but i'm taking sanjay gupta and kal penn, who continue to set indian people back with their antics... gupta for setting unrealistic expectations for indian parents, leading to the inevitable diappointment when you decide you want to be anything but a neurosurgeon/attention whore on cnn... as for penn, yes i loved harold & kumar, but the guy had a minor role in Superman Returns where he said all of TWO WORDS and started to walk around like his shit don't stink, then followed that up with that atrocious 'Rise of Taj' movie that propagated, among other things, the stereotypical indian accent (no motherfuckers, we don't all talk like that) and set my people back another 15 years in america... damn i hate these dickwads...

Shoopmonster said...

john s., will you use a phone to knock out his teeth a la High Fidelity? That would be fantastic.

Redhead said...

Alright, I'll take one for the team - Paris Hilton. (Although I'd be more than a little afraid to let that chick touch me - God knows what kind of diseases that girl's carrying.)

larry burns said...

yes to all who wish to help in the cook beat down.

by the way liut winz why couldn't you leave mel to the jews please, come on. I have a menorah ready and all.

but my next pick ( i don't think he has been taken yet)
roger clemens

Jason said...

Michael Jackson.

I realize I'm skirting close to the line of picking a female, but he needs a beating.

I'm gonna beat the vitiligo out of him.

max said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brent said...

I pick Manu Ginobili for being overrated and playing for the spurs... i'd hit him in the face but with a nose that big it probably has its own bodyguards

and thank you for picking joakim noah -- i'll fight him again when your done

Wormfather said...

@BBD How could you take K-fed, that dude's a roll model for all men. How many back country trashy back singer multi million dollar man-whores do you know?

Wormfather said...

Ooooh, I'm up again.

SLEEPER PICK

Ashton Kutcher. WHO GOT PUNK'D NOW BITCH!?! Asshat!

Big O said...

since this is gonna be my only post for the draft ill just do three:
1)William Shatner-no talent
2)Scott Bakula-even less talent, although looks always like hes about to cry
3)Dan Snyder-made a great franchise in the Redskins into a league wide joke

Shan said...

Brady Quinn, just to do it next to shoopmonster beating up peyton.

John said...

Billy Packer shall meet my fists of unending fury.

For obvious reasons to any non-Wake Forest fan.

Wormfather said...

@miamidiesel

Penn also played a terroist on the first few episodes of this season's 24. In fact he was responsible for the nuke that went off.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Jake Gyllenhaal. You will be smoten for playing tummy sticks with your favorite Cowboy friend and for attempting to sing a Dreamgirls song on SNL.

I wonder if this is considered gay-bashing?

Time to do some work. See ya'll in a few hours.

Rob I said...

Joe Piscopo

Didn't think it was possible, but someone actually gave New Jersey a worse name.

Plus, he's been ravaged by thyroid cancer and side effects from steroid use so I can probably take him.

Don't You Judge Me said...

Bob Barker - 'cause he's old and it will be easy.

Spay and neuter this, old fuck!

Shoopmonster said...

Justin Timberlake. I don't have any ill feelings towards this man. It's more of a draft pick that will be picked up primarily for trade reasons. I suppose a little jealousy could fuel a beating as well.

Biggus Rickus said...

Ted Kennedy, the bloated fuckstick. Besides, I always wanted to punch a Kennedy, and he's the last relevant one.

Burnsy said...

Carlos Mencia.

Not funny. Not Mexican. Not named Carlos. His name is Ned. Material thief. Douchebag. I blame Dave Chapelle for the rise of this asshole.

John John The Bastard said...

Second Pick - Tony Reali

larry burns said...

my turn again

aaron carter, what a magnificent deusch.

Redhead said...

To continue in my 'this is for the good of mankind, even though I REALLY don't want to touch this person' vein, I take Britney Spears.

Greg said...

Larry you can have Clemens when I'm done with him ... with my third pick I'm taking Bill Gates so I can steal everything he owns once I finish with him

Burnsy said...

Clemens was already taken. Tony Reali was already taken. My job is very boring today so I will gladly play commissioner as usual.

lieutenant winslow said...

last pick...

Donna Shalala (i have my reasons) and much like Jason's Ann Coulter pick, i believe i am well within the rules on this one

Shoopmonster said...

redhead, I really appreciate your sacrifices. I was hoping somebody would pick Paris and I wouldn't mind seeing Britney get thrashed. Just make sure that no va-jay-jays become exposed during the beating.

Zac said...

I need a ruling...Can I take Mike and Mike as one pick and try to kick the crap out of both of them?

Golic would be tough, but my fists of fury would make him the mayor of pain.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Time to take Imus.

Nothing like kicking a man while he's down. Literally.

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Pat Robertson. I have no compunction about beating on an old man, as long as he can leg-press two thousand pounds.

John S. said...

@shoopmonster

Consider it done.

Next pick - Sean Penn. I am really beginning to corner the market on self-rightous assholes. Bonus - it looks like he may actually put up a fight, but, in the end, he would be exposed as the candy-ass that he is.

Double bonus - I will hit him until he is forced to say "my name is Jeff Spicoli"

The Middle Man said...

Ron Popeil. I win.

Set it and forget it, Fucko!

miamidiesel said...

@wormfather - see, you see what i'm saying with penn? dude needs to go

for my next pick i'm taking peter king, who surprisingly is still available... i would die for my home state of jersey, but the fact that that fat fuck calls it his 'adopted home' and no one has forced him out to someplace more appropriate for uptight, xenophobic douche bags like him (perhaps san francisco or boston) would make me think twice about coming back on my shield

Shoopmonster said...

Shawn Bradley. I've always wanted to fight somebody tall and passive seems like an overly-aggressive word to describe him.

larry burns said...

ah my bad i didn;t realize clemens was gone i must of missed that pick:

dave chappelle (only if he refuses to do the show)

empee said...

Dustin Diamond.

I accidentally caught an episode of Celebrity Fat Camp and that guy is just a big, sweaty turd.

Burnsy said...

Joel Madden, lead singer of Good Charlotte. I know it's a reach this early but his fake punk bullshit has to stop.

BeaverFever said...

eddie vedder from pearl jam, another washed up self-absorbed douche bag.

can one of the ladies pick the fat and ugly dixie chick ?

John John The Bastard said...

Replacement pick for Reali - Kurt Russell, Nothing against him I just think it would be a fun fight, especially since my medical bills would be paid (hooray for reading the rules) I want to fight someone who will be a good opponent.

Greg said...

Thanks for the ruling Burnys .... I take the douche James Blunt in fact I think I'll fight Jon Mayer at the same time

grungedave said...

How the?

I didn't see this name yet!

Round 3:

Jay Mariotti. Fucktard.

HolyDogWater said...

Don Zimmer!!!! Oh yeah, I'd hit him so fucking hard that Pedro Martinez would feel it.

Big Daddy Drew said...

I'll take Frankie Muniz and I'm out. Got bin Laden, Kim jong Il, Lupica, K-Fed, Imus, and Muniz. A perfect day.

Senor Beavis said...

Tucker Max. I'll even do it blindfolded.

coolbreeze said...

I want to fight Lupica when Big Daddy is done. If there is anyone that needs an ass-whoopin'. it's Lupica

Slash said...

I'll beat down Nancy Grace for you, UM. Even though she scares me a little, 'cause she looks like a fucking evil clown. One good hard kick to the face should make that self-righteous smirk disappear. I'm not big, but think I could take her.

If Nancy Grace is not available, I'd really really like to fuck up "Dr." Laura. I hate that dried-up old bitch.

Burnsy said...

Damnit, Greg. Mayer was queued up and ready to go.

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Tarantino. And I like the guy, but come on.

Shoopmonster said...

John Madden. I would eat a turducken for my victory meal.

Burnsy said...

Great pick, Beavis. GREAT pick.

larry burns said...

danm beavis that was my final pcik

so my draft so far is
angelos,cook, aoran carter, dave chappele, and my final pcik today is: ahamjehoud (the iranian president) he is just a prick.

Shoopmonster said...

@jordan ginsberg I was soooo hoping that he would be around for the next pick. He seems incredibly smug. Plus that giant chin has to be made of glass.

Don't You Judge Me said...

Great picks on Penn and fat-head Teddy.

I'll take another left-wing know-it-all - Bill Maher.

miamidiesel said...

the blue man group. their shit is not funny. i don't even know where to begin in calling out their show, all i'll say is those motherfuckers wasted 90 minutes of my life and some serious amounts of cap'n crunch that could've gone to better use (i.e. as my breakfast). i would also like to coin the term "blue man group gay"

Rob I said...

Michael Kay.

And I'm a Yankees fan, so I can't even imagine how much you plebes must despise him.

John John The Bastard said...

Also I just went through the whole post and didn't see Tony Reali so I am taking that pick back.

Burnsy said...

I know it's a hate crime, but it's a crime to let this guy keep making five figures a week for being a talentless bitch.

Perez Hilton.

Swede Zombie Jesus said...

This may be a reach pick, but I'm late in and I want to make sure I get first crack at:

"Dr." James Dobson

Jackin'4Beats said...

OK, I'm back... Hard to work when a KSK draft is happening.

David Hasselhoff. No need to thank me for kicking Michael Knight's ass all the way back to Baywatch.

John S. said...

Next Pick?

Mahmoud Ahmadi...

Mahmoud Ahmadi...

Mahmoud Ahmadi...

Mahmoud Ahmadhimbleed

liquid_d said...

Ok, I only have time for one pick (stupid work) so I'll throw my top three in now
1 Maroon 5. yes, the entire band

2 The Church of Scientology. yes, every member.( that gives me rounds vs Cruise and Travolta, ha!)

3The Baldwin brothers, at the same time.

Burnsy said...

He was selected as "Stat Boy." However I see nothing wrong with gangland justice.

Senor Beavis said...

John Sterling.

By the way, Rob, great call on Zach Braff.

Shoopmonster said...

@john john, he is the stat boy from PTI

Vanilla said...

I pick Shaq. Just because I'm 5'5" and how funny would that be. Stick and move, stick and move.

larry burns said...

so is anyone going to do a draft summary record the five picks everyone makes and grade, then, if it is under 400 total i will play mel kiper.

john s i took him

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Jay Leno. Bam.

becky said...

I am small and mighty...but not THAT mighty, so could someone come defend my honor and take out Tom Tolbert for me? I mean I REALLY hate that guy.

I would probably fight Minnie Driver. She just annoys the hell out of me for some reason.

Shoopmonster said...

Vern Troyer. If kicking a midget is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Shoopmonster said...

@vanilla It might look like Little Mac taking on Tyson. Just avoid him for the first 1:30.

Dan said...

tony dungy.

just coach football and shut the fuck up.

Burnsy said...

Tom from MySpace. How dare you let 14-year old girls make their profiles private?

Greg said...

for the last time Stat Boy = Tony Reali ... stop trying to steal my draft picks or I will have to bring a tampering change against you

Burnsy said...

Larry, I'll help you. Seriously, my company is wasting money by having me here today.

From the other side of town said...

Ther oughta be a law against picking on guys the size of 8-year olds, but there aint. . . Bob Costas Thanks PEB for leaving that morsel.

devang said...

@miamidiesel. I know what ya mean with Kal Penn. his name's probably Kalpen. Douche.

I take Max Kellerman. Oh that arrogant smary shithead!!

lieutenant winslow said...

so is anyone going to do a draft summary...

i don't want to say i won, but...

rd.1 GWB
rd.2 Bill O'Reilly
rd.3 Bud Selig
rd.4 Mel Gibson
rd.5 Donna Shalala

Derrick said...

Everybody doesn't love Raymond. And I will turn him out like a prison bitch.

Shoopmonster said...

@burnsy Same here. I haven't seen a person all morning where my desk is. I'm on an island. My regular coworkers work 4 10s so they are off today. For the company's sake I need to see if I can get that switched.

devang said...

BILL MAHER.

Enough said. Has there been a bigger condescending prick on earth this this fucker?

Senor Beavis said...

My bad. OK, Pete Wentz.

Swede Zombie Jesus said...

burnsy, I know the feeling. I'm sleeping with my eyes open here.

But I still pick off Sean Hannity. Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly are off the board, so I have to take the best available at Right Wing Nut Job Host position.

Derrick said...

With my next pick, I select Siegried and Roy. And yes, I will be wearing my Tony the Tiger costume.

Burnsy said...

DAMN YOU, Beavis. Beat him good. Make sure Ashlee watches.

devang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.O. said...

The guy who plays Buster in Arrested Development, just to see if he would fall into the fetal position and yell "why are you hitting yourself?"

Shoopmonster said...

yes devang, john s. did

Ben Conant said...

Aaron Boone.

He knows why/

Don't You Judge Me said...

Joe Francis (girls gone wild)

there's no CRYING in prison, bitch.

MDT said...

Jack Thompson. Don't know how many gamers are hanging around on this thread, but any who are know that any time that litigious, idiotic douchefucker opens his mouth you wanna shove a fist through his teeth. Sue that, dickbag.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Oh, fuck it. I have to take Brandon Davis. Value pick.

devang said...

Thanks shoopmonster

Then I pick the people who run the Daily Kos. Lighten up, will ya?

Burnsy said...

Devang, Sean Penn is gone. So is Kal Penn. No relation. Might I suggest Sean's son, Hopper? You can make jokes about how his mom was the AIDS chick in Forrest Gump.

TVBrain said...

George Steinbrenner.

Shoopmonster said...

Seth McFarlane. Family Guy is great, the rest of it, not so much. His physical appearance just screams douchebag.

Swede Zombie Jesus said...

great value pick brain

Greg said...

is Bucky Dent still alive? ... fuck it I take Bucky Fuckin Dent

From the other side of town said...

An old-fashioned southside beat down for the Gumbels: Bryant first, for not knowing enough about the game of football to be an announcer. And then Gregg, for getting his hairhat at the same place as the Shaw brothers ("I'll take three wigs for the price of two, and a bottle of activater").

Derrick said...

I choose Big Daddy Drew. Sorry Drew, nothing personal, but nobody is gonna win one of these drafts unless you're on the DL.

Ben Conant said...

Damn it Bucky Dent was next on my board.

larry burns said...

i choose leitch just for the story, if i lose ok if i win i kicked leitch;s ass.

Shoopmonster said...

You're a genius mdt. Had to look him up, but then I realized what kind of shit he pulled. My hat is off to you. And yes, I am a gamer.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Derrick, I'm surprised it took that long. Now who's gonna take Ufford?

Swede Zombie Jesus said...

Can I take Wilford Brimley or whatever the fuck is name is? Just to hear him say "diabeetus."

Justin Elder said...

Phil Mickelson. I'd wipe that stupid grin he has every time a camera is on him off his face.

Senor Beavis said...

Linkin Park.

Dan said...

danny ferry. he's a worse GM than he was a player.

Burnsy said...

My vintage pick is Jaleel White. You respect Carl Winslow's house, son.