Saturday, September 30, 2006

The Terrell Owens Drinking Game: It Was Only a Matter of Time

The doctors told me I have an "addictive personality with obsessive-compulsive tendencies." Apparently the brain mechanism that allows other people to enjoy vices in moderation is broken in my noggin. So as enthusiastic as I am about gambling, I don't let myself bet on sports online. It's also why I can't play fantasy football or go to Las Vegas without supervision or let women sleep in my apartment overnight.

Say what you will about Lauren -- I'm getting too old to get turned on by edgy dye jobs, and the mere mention of "Terrell Owens" gives me a vague nausea -- but if such a thing as the perfect storm of legal-yet-addictive vice exists, it would have to be a tattooed, bisexual chick from a sports gambling website telling me how to play a drinking game while I watch football.

Well, friends, such a thing exists.

If anyone needs me I'll be in the gutter.

8 comments:

Angelos said...

Rachel Ray went punk?

HockeyKnight said...

wow. she seems awesome.

PUNTE said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
PUNTE said...

I'm 99% positive there was no wine in that cup.

In other words, she didn't swallow.

Otto Man said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Drinking is not a game. It's a skill.

Rob I said...

If you started this drinking game at the top of Sunday NFL Countdown, you'd be legally dead right now.

Unsilent Majority said...

The only drinking game I enjoy is "Drinky Beery". seriously, when i want a drink i have one, then to celebrate i have another. You'll be able to gauge my success when i get back from the redskins game to write a drunken post.

flubby said...

I think "Lauren" is the product of a marketing campaign. Admittedly she is much hotter than Mr. Peanut. Not as hot as Aunt Jemima though.


/I had to type "hjkyavzk" to post this. That's total bullshit.