Thursday, September 7, 2006

The Big Ben Crash, uh, Revisited

MMP: They call it 'Steel City.' Personally, I call it 'real shitty.' Good afternoon, Monday Morning Punter here with a very special guest. Chester Blutnik was an eyewitness to the Roethlisberger bike crash. He's 24 years old and currently unemployed, and he joins us live.

CB: Sup Punter.

MMP: I understand Big Ben was, and still is, your favorite player?

CB: Yup.

MMP: Sir, in your own words, tell us what happened on that fateful day when your hero was struck down by that cruel windshield of fate.

CB: Well dude was rollin through, goin crazy and loud and shit, then bitch in a Caddy came n put a tag on his ass. Bam.

MMP: Wasn't the woman driving a Chrysler?

CB: I dunno.

MMP: You don't know? I thought you were there? You told me on the phone that you were there.

CB: I was there, man. I ain't foolin.

MMP: [Sighing] Chester...

CB: Sup.

MMP: Chester...what did they do with Big Ben's appendix?

CB: Man, them doctors got him n cut him up n shit then they took it out and then...

MMP: Did they throw it out or did they keep it?

CB: They still got it, yo.

MMP: If they sell it on eBay, will you buy it?

CB: Yeah, man.

MMP: How much would you pay for Ben's appendix?

CB: I dunno. Ten bucks?

MMP: Chester, thanks for that eyewitness report.

CB: Aight.


Anonymous said...

Now go do an interview with a black dude that talks like Ned Flanders.

BoSox Siobhan said...

Hey anon - I have a black neighbor who sounds suspiciously Flanders-like, minus the God squad.
Right here in the Nation's Capital. Shocking.

Anonymous said...


Really?? And I'll bet you know the exact # of black poeple that've been over at your house this year too huh?