Thursday, September 7, 2006

Searching the City For Further Bukkake

This is the Unsilent Majority checking in once again. Since I last left you I've embarked on a journey throughout this godforsaken burgh while searching for the home of its most famous resident. Well I have something shocking to tell you...Jerome Bettis doesn't even live in Pittsburgh!!!

That's right folks, Mr. Shittsburgher himself actually claims residence in a city called Detroit. Personally I blame the mainstream media, it's their job to make sure we all know this kind of shit. And here I am, walking around Highland Park knocking on doors and being routinely embarrassed.

Now I'd like to make a formal apology to a Mr. Joe Bettis of Pittsburgh. Sir, I should never have barged into your home like that, I promise that I'll replace your sliding glass door. Also please pass on my heartfelt apology to your lovely mother. Just because she was wearing a bright yellow muumuu was no reason for me to ask if she was the Bus.

That's all from Pittsburgh (where we're LIVE!) for now, we'll be back throughout the afternoon to keep you apprised of all the stupid shit we happen to witness. If you need me I'll be in the bathtub with Kate.

5 comments:

Rob I said...

While in Pittsburgh, be sure to visit Mr. Belvedere's house.

Unsilent Majority said...

or Mr. Rogers for that matter

Rob I said...

You just blew my feeble mind.

Anonymous said...

I am dying.

Anonymous said...

Bus has homes in Pittsburgh and Atlanta.

Bought his folks a home in Detroit.

I learned this (predictably) in the week before the Super Bowl.