Thursday, September 28, 2006

Sippin' On Some Sizzurp

Lost in the wake of TO's busy day was the arrest of San Diego Chargers safety Terrence Kiel. Like TO his story involves the excessive use of powerful painkillers. Unlike TO it seems as if the fourth year veteran was just trying to scratch up some supplemental income. Kiel was allegedly shipping Codeine cough syrup back to his boys in Houston where purple drank is the downer of choice...just don't get it mixed up with the other purple drink or you might find yourself wandering around Africa.

Surprisingly Kiel won't be playing this weekend, instead he can look forward to further interrigation from the DEA (although I've heard they go easy on some drug distributors. After being arrested this week during practice the agents were able to find quite a bit of evidence to strengthen their case.

According to an affidavit for a search warrant made public Wednesday, FedEx managers searched a package Kiel mailed with his FedEx account in June and found 15 bottles of Prometh prescription cough syrup in the box. A boarding pass found inside the box led DEA agents to an address Kiel used to register a car. Three bottles of Prometh were seized last week at that address.
Oh've got to be the worst drug dealer in California. You know you're fucked when you're shipping product via a FedEx account (it's called cash, look into it). As if that's not bad enough they were able to track down a paper trail on all of his means of travel. Some criminals watch too much tv, maybe this guy should have watched more Law and Order.

Kiel paid cash to send a second package to Texas last Thursday, prompting a FedEx manager to contact the DEA, according to the affidavit.
Yeah, that only works when they don't already know who you are.

Despite his low salary (by NFL standards) of $500,000 Kiel seems to have a serious need for additional income. Can somebody get this in a mutual fund before he winds up in a cell a la Mike Sellers and Jamal Lewis? Maybe it's already too late for that but I'm sure the Chargers are going to have a sitdown with all of their players; if they pick up a few more arrests this season the Bengals may have some serious competition.

Cheers Terrence, here's to messing up a good thing. Keep it on the lean.

Sip Sip Sippin on some sizzurp...

For another take, check out MJD's post over at the Fanhouse (even if he does go the Mike Jones/Paul Wall angle...I prefer the Triple Six).

excerpts from the AP


Gentlewhoadie Apt One said...

Now this is what the blogosphere is for. Does anybody really think that Len Pasquarelli AKA Don Vito is going to have anything coherent to say about this?

"Well, uhhh, uhhhh, this will uhhh, not be good for their nickel package, uhhhh."

How about Bill Simmons?

"This is just like that one lame ass TV show I watch and that one terrible band i like. Hey, remember college? How does this relate to DAvid ORtiz again?"

No, these men are not a part of the important segment of the media known as "people who know who Michael Watts is."

Sean Salisbury: "He gotta mouf-mouf like-a-like-a disco bawl-bawl."

Unsilent Majority said...

RIP DJ Screw...of course given all the syrup he drank it's pretty much guaranteed

PUNTE said...

How is this on pancakes?

Unsilent Majority said...


Ryan said...

UM, I agree. I think that Three-Six deserves all the credit for making the whole syrup thing mainstream. I was surprised to see MJD go the Texas route.

Mike said...

Isn't this concoction known as a 'Flaming Moe'?

Unsilent Majority said...

The Flaming Moe is made with children's cough syrup (active ingredient is DMX a dissociative drug)

Sizzurp is made with liquid codeine (a relaxing painkiller)

Mike said...

Ah. I guess that explains why I flunked out of med school.