Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Joey Porter Wants You To Laugh, Or He'll Murder You

After watching the "Lost Episodes" of Chappelle's Show, it's obvious now that Dave Chappelle quit his show because he had run out of ideas. Why else would Chappelle be making Howard Dean jokes two full years after everyone had grown tired of them? The Dave Chappelle I know would never be that lazy. He'd at least throw a slavery joke in there somewhere.

But if Chappelle says it, it's a catchphrase. Which is why "BYAHHHHH!!!" has become a D-List cousin of "I'm Rick James, bitch!" over the past few months. And now, Joey Porter of the Steelers has become an unofficial ambassador of it. To wit, his player introductions from last night's Steelers-Jags game:

I thought these player introductions were idiotic, but if players can emulate Joey's sterling example for the rest of the year, I'm more than willing to admit I was wrong. A couple notes here: Joey is rocking a suit for his intros, which is kind of sweet. Second, Joey is so intense during his intros that you really do get the impression that he will reach out of the screen and squeeze your neck until it crunches. Seriously, this man is intense. I'd hate to be the Miami Subs cashier that fucked up his order. I also liked the fact that a gentle black man (Mike Tirico) had to immediately explain why an angry black man (Porter) was screaming BYAHHHH during the intros. Don't be alarmed, White America. Joey Porter isn't going to kill you. Yet.


PUNTE said...

Joey Porter is my new hero.

Should the Steelers have started Batch in that game?

Otto Man said...

Sweet. I was glad to see Theeeeesman add a snide "Howard Dean lost, didn't he?" at the end. Like I need another reason to dislike you, carpethead.

Unsilent Majority said...

I had a friend over during the game...she was confused and possibly concerned for his mental wellbeing.

i loved it.

Otto Man said...

As long as we're bemoaning the new MNF, can we discuss the all-star We Are the World ensemble they brought together to revamp that shitty "Are You Ready for Some Football?" song. Bocephus and ?uestlove from the Roots? Little Richard and Little Steven?

This stinks of focus group research run amok. I haven't seen a tragedy like this since the Poochie Incident. ("So you want a down to earth, realistic show ... that's totally off the wall and swarming with magic robots?")

Unsilent Majority said...

?uestlove will do anything for a paycheck

Otto Man said...

True. He tarred my roof for $5 and an old K-Tel record.

RadamR said...

Their booth is just crazy awkward. Theeeeeeezman doesn't shut it, Tearikko oversteps his bounds, and TK should be talking more about his orange-ness.

It's just uber-awful when they bring celebs in like the Theeeeezman-Jamie Fox verbal crotch stroke. Ew, and TK axing about "What if Shaq played football?" Terrible.

skinny said...

Don't be alarmed, White America. Joey Porter isn't going to kill you. Yet.

Are you kidding? Of course he is.