Odell Thurman Is One Stupid Drunk

You remember Odell Thurman; he was the starting middle linebacker for the Bengals. He was one of the leaders on a young but talented defense that just had to try and keep up with the offense. He's also the guy who hasn't played a down this season because of a suspension. You'd think that after skipping a drug test a guy would learn how to act like a competent professional...but these are the fucking Bungles! They might not embarrass themselves on the field anymore but they certainly make up for that in the wee hours.

Scouts at Georgia know how to motivate Odell,
there's a fifth of Uncle Jemima at the finish line

This morning Odell was stopped by Cincinnati Police at a checkpoint designed to catch drunken morons (i.e. the Bengals) in action. After being stopped the linebacker blew a .17 on the trusty breathalyzer, more than double the legal limit in Ohio. What's most important/disturbing/funny about the whole situation is that Odell was in a car full of teammates who had returned from Pittsburgh earlier in the night. Seeing as how Odell was released to a sober driver it's clear that somebody else could have been driving the car the entire time.

Leave it to the Bengals to celebrate a monumental victory by piling into the car with a drunk and suspended teammate for a long night of driving. How stupid can one car of assholes truly be? Marvin Lewis has been quick to come up with a punishment, he sent everybody home without stopping for ice cream. Didn't this guy used to be a disciplinarian? Now he's like the world's worst probation officer; next week we can all look forward to a jailhouse style raping of Tom Brady, both on and off the field.