Thursday, September 21, 2006

"Shhh, it's all right, Taggart. Just a man and a horse being hung out there."

First, we were totally blind-sided by news that Joey Porter owns a pack of pitbulls. He always seemed like more of a bichon frise type of guy. Our shock was only compounded when we subsequently learned that Porter's dogs escaped and killed a horse in suburban Pittsburgh yesterday. The lastest bombshell in this case is the revelation by the police that the killing was a case of mistaken identity. According to insiders familiar with the investigation, Porter trained the dogs for the express purpose of killing Shannon Sharpe.



The resemblance between the victim (above, left) and Sharpe (right) was so uncanny, that even the police arriving on the scene were initially confused. "When we got there the little fella was bellowing and grunting incoherently. It sounded just Shannon Sharpe's analysis of San Diego's pass rush from Sunday morning." Alarmed CBS executives frantically telephoned Sharpe and confirmed he was safe at home, munching on a bag of oats.

7 comments:

Mr Furious said...

Obviously that horse didn't appreciate Porter's player intro antics Monday night, and he had it coming.

Seriously, they killed a horse? A fucking horse? A horse is a pretty big and not entirely defenseless animal...how many dogs does Porter have? And do they shoot frickin' laser beams out of their eyes?

Christmas Ape said...

Want your salt lick?

Num, num, good salt lick.

flubby said...

Why is Barbaro wearing a Shannon Sharpe hat?

doug_plank said...

Who would in a fight -
Porter's dogs vs Spree's dogs


The winner gets Steve McMichaels chihuahua as a snack.

Unsilent Majority said...

Ms. Namath with the pops

http://i9.tinypic.com/2is8co3.jpg

Unsilent Majority said...

yeah...looks like...

The Big Picture said...

that horse that was killed was Barbaro! if only...