Sunday, October 1, 2006

One-Dump Preview: 1 PM Matchups for Week 4

Arizona (1-2) at Atlanta (2-1) 1:00 p.m.

The Falcons were washed out by the Saints in that big Monday night game last week. They take on a washed-up QB this week in Kurt Warner, whose play of late has rivalled the ugliness of his wife's hairstyle.

Dallas (1-1) at Tennessee (0-3) 1:00 p.m.

Tennessee's chief exports include textiles, cattle, and electric power. Add Vince Young to that list, as the rookie from Texas gets his first start this afternoon. And did anyone hear about something about a Cowboys WR in the hospital last week?

Indianapolis (2-0) at N.Y. Jets (2-1) 1:00 p.m.

CUT THAT MEAT! Yeah, the Jets are kinda fucked here. But, hey, they still have Detroit, Cleveland, the Texans, AND Oakland on the schedule. A decent showing today could keep them in contention for the AFC East.

Miami (1-2) at the Colt .45s (0-3) 1:00 p.m.

Texans wideout Andre Johnson has 2 100-yard games, one of the few bright spots for a team ranking 29th in total offense and dead last in total defense. Look for a solid 0-4 start from Houston as they stumble into their Bye in Week 5.

Minnesota (2-1) at Buffalo (1-2) 1:00 p.m.

The Vikes are coming off a tough home loss from the Bears. The Bills need a loss here if they are to cement their status as one of the NFL's shitty teams. By the way, I would have much rather heard about another sex boat scandal this past week, don't you agree?

New Orleans (3-0) at Carolina (1-2) 1:00 p.m.

Jake Delhomme has looked like shit all year, but the Panthers defense has kept them in games. Still, the Saints face a toughest test to date: a road game against a division rival that could (and should) still make the playoffs.

San Diego (2-0) at Baltimore (3-0) 1:00 p.m.

The Ravens rolled over TB and OAK before edging CLE on the road. The Chargers haven't really played anyone yet (TEN and OAK), so look for Ray Lewis to preform an awkward, semi-ethnic dance on the face and chest of Philip Rivers.

San Francisco at Kansas City 1:00 p.m.

If this is the only game you have on your TV, go play outside or knock out some housework.


Mr. B. said...

I would just like to say that Eric Mangini has the finest set of Bitch Tits this side of FIGJAM.

Good Lord, man. Mix in a goddamn bench press.

Unknown said...

Men do housework? who fucking knew? I have to bribe mine with sex..come to think of it..that makes it a win/win situation for moi.