Baseball: Still Gay
"Hey man."
"Hey, buddy. What's up."
"Nuthin much, bro. Hey, do you wanna go play some BASEBALL?"
"Sure, man."
"Allright."
"Cool. Hey wait."
"What's the matter?"
"Look up there. That.."
"Oh, no. That looks like RAIN."
"Dear me."
"We can't play baseball in THE RAIN."
"No way, man. We'd get WET."
"Yeah."
"Hey."
"What's up?"
"Maybe THE RAIN WILL STOP."
"Yeah. We should WAIT."
"Cool."
"Cool."
TWO HOURS LATER
"Hey man."
"Hey, buddy. What's up."
"Nuthin much, bro. Is it still raining?"
"Well, considering my shit is sopping wet, I believe it is."
"No good, man. Hey, I'm rather drenched myself."
"Yeah, we should have waited for the rain to stop INSIDE."
"Or at least under a medium-sized awning."
"I guess there will be no BASEBALL today."
"What do we do now?"
"Let's take off our wet clothes and play Madden."
"Yeah. We should play Madden."
"Cool."
"Cool."
31 comments:
John Rocker has really fallen on hard times. Nice pink hat.
Hey guy?
Yeah, man.
Hand me my keys?
Yeah, where are they?
In my purse, over there.
Oh, I see. Let me reach....OH!
What's up, guy?
I think I pulled something.
Yeah, that looked bad.
That'll put me on the DL for sure.
Definately. Here, let me rub it.
Oh, that's great. I'm still not playing though.
can we drag baseball behind our truck?
OUCH
That's the difference between Tony LaRussa and Whitey Herzog. Whitey never would have put up with that crap.
I was just arguing with my roommate earlier today about how stupid baseball is and that baseball players are pussies because they don't play when it rains.
If you are a fan of neverending, 0-0 tie games because it is extremely difficult to hit a round wet ball with a round wet bat, then by all means, play some baseball in the rain.
Of course, it's hard to grip a wet ball so it could actually just turn out to be walk fest, which is also exciting.
Hmmm.... "grip a wet ball"... that didn't help my case.
That's what pine tar is for
Wait - you're calling baseball gay when every play in football involves the most important player shoving his hands right up into the junk of another player- who is in fact bent over and throwing his ass up into the air?
Good gay bar names:
the bullpen
the dug out
the pitching mound
pine tar
bat and balls
the catcher
the Out field
the reliever
play along, wont you
Other gay bar names:
The Foul Pole
Behind In The Count
Dusty Baker's
split ends
sackfest
between the tackles
yellow hanky
the center exchange
neutral zone infraction
west coast offense
run and gun
Run and Gun is so hetero it almost made me like baseball
double switch
in under the tag
pop up to center
vaseline
naked pull-ups
Sid Bream
Off-Shore Drilling
(that last one is the name of the gay bar here in town)
sweet spot
around the horn
a-rod
the dinger
th asstros
2 Bagger
Double Header....
I could do this forever...wait, strike that.
chew and spit
scuffed balls
underage bat-boy
pop-up lost in the son
rear naked choke
sackfest is a good one though
The Pitching Rubber.
Hit and Run.
Utility Man.
Bill Simmons' Column.
Puhols
the green monster
rubber arm
good cheese
joe buck
tape measure
going the other way
The Rubber Arm will do it. Thanks for your submissions.
hilarious
Correction...Pujols.
Designated Hitters
Five Tool Players
Yankees
Bloop singles
Off the wall
Out of leftfield
Chin music
brush-back mountain.
thank you, Ill be here all week.
Infield Fly Rule
Foul Territory
Suicide Squeeze
And a Red Sox special: Big Papi's and Manram.
The Pickle.
They burned that flag, right?
The Slider
The Spitter
The Knuckler
The Screwball (or Scroogie)
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