Friday, September 14, 2007

Cheaters vs. Cheater. WHO YA GOT!?


Cheating Cheats________"The Gigantosaur"

Real Name

The New England Patriots_________Shawne Merriman




Voyeurism______________Rape, devouring worlds, rape. He likes rape.

Pledges to stop

Getting caught________"Lights Out" dance, eating planetessimals between planets

"Wacky Races" inspiration

Dick Dastardly________________Rock Slag

Favorite Batman villain

Whichever one dresses most slovenly, probably Killer Croc______Bane

Homestar Runner inspiration

The Cheat_______________Strong Mad

Gay song sung in the shower

"I Saw the Sign," Ace of Base __________"Interesting Drug," Morrissey

Favorite pro wrestling quote

"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat." -- Jesse Ventura
"Sure, what harm can steroids do?" -- Chris Benoit

Finishing Move

Questioning interpretation of "rules"____________Appealing suspension

Let's hear who you got in the game of the week in the comments. Drew doesn't know yet that Greg Oden is out for the season, so feel free to toss that little nugget of info in there.


Big Daddy Drew said...

Chargers 50-0. Belichick turns back into Cleveland Bill for the remainder of his career.

McFluffin said...

Rape beats adultery, I take Merriman

Upstate Underdog said...

SD plus the points. Who is this Greg Oden that you speak of ?

MyBoysAreMyLife said...

Belichick turns back into Cleveland Bill

Brown, drab, and full of shit? Oh wait a minute...

Wormfather said...

Wasnt Greg Oden a god of some sort?

Anyways...I take the Chargers 33 - 17. Karma has got to come back on these cheaters.

Althought somewhere in the back of my mind I see the Patriots traiding their first round pick to detroit for Rodgers or some stupid shit like that. Matt Millen would fall for some stupid shit like that.

Otto Man said...

I like where your head's at with the Wacky Races comparison, Ape, but I think there are better fits.

Belichek looks like Muttley. The caught-in-the-cookie-jar look is there. All that's missing is the hoodie.

And roided-up Merriman looks more like Rufus Ruffcut.

bizzo5000 said...

Merriman and his herald Luis Castillo will devour all cameras in sight.

Mike Murray said...

"Rape, devouring worlds, rape. He likes rape"

+1 for excellent Blazing Saddles reference.

Unknown said...

so wait - he loses something later for a flagrant foul he's committed previously and been warned about?

Pappy Johnson was right!

I take Merriman, and the snapping bones of all Pat's O-Linemen.

Citizen 10Cane said...

I'll take the Patriots in the hopes that Simmons writes another delightful installment of the "Boston Blog" in which he in no way sounds smug. That seemed to work well in Week 1.

MC said...

Belichek cheated and got a slap on the wrist; Tom Brady screws arguably the world's hottest chick and the Pats have players that use drugs too, but not much is made of it in the press. God, I hope the Charges win.

27-24 Charges...someone tell Norv that they'll give him a lifetime supply of Pro-Activ if he wins.

fallex said...


That is the over/under on words into BS's next column that he mentions Norv Turner's blackjack acument.

Take the under.

Pemulis said...

can i still take the fuck da eagles girl?

Lloyd Christmas said...

Life is unfair over the land of beautiful women, 30-27

Pemulis said...

New Lemon Party Commercial!!!!!!

kinda nsfanything?

Upstate Underdog said...

Why, pemulis, why ?

Matt said...

Quien Es Mas Macho o "Who Ya Got"?

Unknown said...

28-21 Pats, Chargers have only gone down hill with the new staff.

SDW said...

Speaking of smugness of Simmons... I think we now know where he gets it.

From the "SportsGal's" moronic rant:
"We're having a son and Bill thinks we should name it after him because he's a third and the kid would be a fourth."

William Simmons III. Is anyone surprised?

Otto Man said...

Quien Es Mas Macho?

Fernando Lamas o Ricardo Montelban?

Bodjo said...

I got the cheatin' pats to win, and Belichick will flip off Drayton Florence on his way towards midfield to shake hands with Norv Turner. Turner will stand there, wondering why his mom never bought him acne medication.

Jay said...

Whoever wins, we lose (because there's going to be one set of fans with grins so big and so smug you'd think their star player bricked in their collective mouths).

The Ghost Of Max Kellerman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Ghost Of Max Kellerman said...

If you wanted definetive proof that Belichek cheated here is the proof.