Tuesday, September 4, 2007

KSK 2007 NFL Season Prekkake: Washington Hogs Redskins


Chris Cooley's wife maintains a wet soft spot for Shawn Springs.


Red-headed long-snapper Ethan Albright is known around the locker room as "Red Snapper" because of his stanky vagina.

Albright's head weighs more than Marcus Mason.

Dan Snyder keeps hiring away the most expensive Scientology coaches but he can't get past OT II.

Chief Zee is immortal, he just doesn't know it yet.

Jason Campbell and Chris Cooley have appeared in over three hundred adult features under the pen(is) names Herb Organ and Jim Holeman respectively. Neither is affiliated with the car dealers of similar names.

Mark Brunell got the Redskins playbook on audio tape, but it was narrated by Gilbert Godfried so he just said "fuck it."

Dan Snyder is training a team of assassins to take out Steve Czaban once and for all. I didn't want to get involved, but it's so hard to find good hash in DC.

When Ade Jimoh gets cut an angel gets its wings.

H.B. Blades is the son of Bennie Blades who won his name in a card game from a triple amputee.

Clinton Portis' new character, "Goosey McTaint" is a registered sex offender and a snuggly lover.

Sean Taylor and LaRon Landry spent the summer winning the WWF's (World Wildlife Foundation) tag team titles after dispatching of a pair of adolescent kodiak bears.

This week, we're holding the first annual KsK Kares Charity Drive for Fisher House, which supports disabled veterans and their families. You can donate directly to FH here.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

remember Ethan's oustanding letter to John Madden?

Unknown said...

That's why he's a long snapper.

jackin'4beats said...

I'd like to slide my long snapper into Christy...

OH!!! I'll be here all week.

Illegal Immigrant said...

Get the fuck out of here, I wait all summer for a Redskins preview, go temporarily blind thanks to the Brady-Belicheck-Patriot Pat Eiffel Tower and I get 11 paragraphs on this year's eventual Super Bowl champions?

Fuck you and everyone that looks like you. Unsilent, you should be ashamed.

Big Daddy Drew said...

DAGGER!

Unsilent Majority said...

ha! those weren't paragraphs!

ben said...

Okay, I echo all those complaints, and I'd add that you are showing a picture of Christy where she is wearing MORE clothing than usual...WTF is wrong with you??

Here's what she was probably wearing after Cooley signed his extension this week for beaucoup $$$:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v347/mooflocker/Christy_4.jpg

Unknown said...

Is your source on this reliable? I heard Goosey McTaint was into erotic furries.

Unsilent Majority said...

ben, already used it

ben said...

Ah, okay, I retract the complaint then. Just can't get enough.