Friday, March 21, 2008

Yapcunt Regional: No. 2 Giant vs. No. 7 Packer
TALE O' THE TAPE

This matchup might appear to be one-sided on paper: Brobdingnagian versus lowly abattoir wage slave. But before you jump to any rash conclusions, remember Andre was only slightly larger than your average steer. Plus, they know how to get rid of the bodies. Incidentally, this bracket is only more fucked up than my NCAA one (thanks, Temple and Georgia).

Poll is on the sidebar to the right. Voting is open until the end of today.

Contestant

Packer ______ Giant


Slogan

Beef: it's what's for dinner ___________ OBEY


Distinction that sounds less cool the more you think about it

Feeds nation that consumes 28 billion lbs of meat a year __France's best-known athlete


Unlikely ally

Upton Sinclair _____ The Million Dollar Man


Unintended legacy

Trite, yet enduring, “meat packing" double entendres __ Gheorge Muresan made a movie


Occupational hazard

Squalid working conditions amid tons of diseased carcasses ___ ditto


Finishing move and notable copier of said move

Captive bolt gun to skull (Anton Chigurh) __ Massive heart attack (Ken Lay)


24 comments:

Armchair Strong Safety said...

what, no Princess Bride reference? he's the brute squad!

Otto Man said...

No more rhymes, I mean it!

JAMMQ said...

Andre The Giant thrashed hundreds of meat-packers during a career that spanned three decades.

Plus, I heard he once drank 1,000 beers in one day.

Can't beat that.

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Tracer Bullet said...

Much as I hate the Giants, I have to go with Fezik and Carl Brutananadilewsk.

/as you wish

Pemulis said...

It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.

/we're all really gay

Claude Balls said...

Anybody want a peanut?

Can we please stop now?

Tracer Bullet said...

If only we had a Holocaust Cloak.
I've got one right here
Where did you get a Holocaust Cloak?
At Miracle Max's. It fit so well, he said I could keep it.

/I need help

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

INCONCEIVABLE!

/I can't stop

Steve said...

Hmm...never seen it. But Anne Hathaway sure is hot.

Armchair Strong Safety said...

Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?

I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

/not the real dread pirate roberts

Grimey said...

You just wiggled your thumb! That's wonderful!

smurphette said...

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

/loves Princess Bride quotes on a football and dick joke blog

whowillsexmutombo? said...

Part of me is embarrassed for everyone. The other part of me would like to add... weren't the costumes in Atonement spectacular? She looked like a little doll!

Colts and Hoosiers Fan said...

I just wanna take this time to laugh at Bill Simmons for having USC in the Final Four. Everyone please enjoy. Besides that, Giant hands down.

flubby said...

I just wanna take this time to laugh at Bill Simmons for having USC in the Final Four.


So did one-third of KSK, so laugh at them too.

Colts and Hoosiers Fan said...

Then I shall enjoy the taste of all of their tears also.

Colts and Hoosiers Fan said...

Oh and we all know it's funnier because he chose them due to his severe case of homerism.

Tracer Bullet said...

DROP. YOUR. SWORD.

smurphette said...

@flub: Who was it? I like to be specific in my pointed laughter at the failings of others.

dead account said...

With you on the NCAA bracket, flubby. Only it's BYU and Georgia that fucked me over.

Christmas Ape said...

I had initially put USC in the FF because I didn't want to go with Kansas and I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I pick Georgetown to win anything. But then I switched back to Kansas early yesterday.

SlideShow Bob said...

And i was mocked a few days ago for making a Princess Bride comment, i hope whoever that was is loving this.

Man Bear Pig said...

Wow ... an Upton Sinclair reference. I don't know whether to be happy or sad that I got that one.

/immunity to iocane powder