Thursday, July 20, 2006

Peter King's Outlook Calendar

If you happen to speak English, you may realize that Peter King is the best NFL writer in the United States, and therefore, the world. In fact, his NFL prowess is so renowned that it has earned him an analyst's spot on the NFL Sunday Night Football studio team, premiering this fall. He is an Afroed god among mere mortal, straight-haired sportswriters.


So how does this elite journalist get into condition for the season? Certainly the work of covering 32 teams requires a strong preseason regimen. We like to know these things, so we here at KSK obtained a page of Peter King’s Outlook Calendar for an upcoming day, as many teams will already be in camp. While he sits on top of the mountain for now, to us it seems clear: Peter King is not ready for some football.




Don’t worry, Pete. That’s why they call it the preseason. Just keep your chin…up.

25 comments:

HofC said...

Right after he steal's Monks' mail, King will then kick his dog.

Anyone against Monk's HOF induction is a douche and is INSANE....

Captain Caveman said...

I thought 9:00 p.m. was when he watched a television show for the first time that everyone else has watched for last two years.

Captain Caveman said...

p.s. Stay outta my city you Jersey fuck.

Unsilent Majority said...

hofc, you are correct sir.

fuck peter king...and dr. z

grungedave said...

wait a second, where's the time dedicated to finding the next Jake Plummer/Danny Wuerffel to advocate selecting in round 3 of your league's upcoming fantasy draft?

BigRicks said...

Good call on the Shiner Boch, good times right there.

Anonymous said...

You forgot to put in the three hour block of time where he spanks it to tivo'd episodes of House MD.

Then another hour thinking of which Sopranos spoilers to put in his column.

Chillonamill said...

Fuck Dr. Z. Where is his calander with his daily foot in the ass from Dan Snyder? Nothing like getting punked right in front of your columnist buddies. Reminds me of the revenge skit from Chappelle Show.

The Fan's Attic said...

"chin...up" -- I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

dave18256 said...

The bias of the Redskins by SI writers is ridiculous. The Dr Z quote "You don't make the HOF by catching 8 yard hooks" is disgusting. You do when it's 3rd and five.

Unsilent Majority said...

he retired with the most catches ever, that's all that needs to be said.

Beban said...

Most catches in the history of the game, and not in the HOF. Why, oh why, did you have to bet on baseball Art Monk. We believed in you.

A.R.P. said...

Peter King is a penis kabob.

goto11 said...

> Certainly the work of covering 31 professional football teams (and the Texans) requires a strong preseason regimen.

There, I fixed it for you.

Captain Caveman said...

goto11: Excellent work.

I've left a copy of that KSK memo on MMP's desk.

CDB said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Son of Brasky said...

And I love you, Lou Gosset Jr.

uncskins28 said...

Art Monk has a higher career YPC than Marvin Harrison.

It needs to be said.

lurker chica said...

All I wanna know is...WTF does this have to do with burritos? ;)

Unsilent Majority said...

little known fact: peter king survives on a diet consisting entirely of bean and cheese frozen burritos

...so there's that

Mac said...

This is obviously a fake, as there is no mention of Brett Favre and King couldn't go a day without his BFF.

Johnny Cakes but not gay said...

Has nobody mentioned Brett Favre yet?

9 P.M. Light candles of personal Bill Parcells shrine

10 P.M. Discover obscure television show called "24."

12 A.M. Remove hair curlers before bed.

T-Bone said...

"Who I like on Monday Night, and I don't mean Al Michaels" - I would love for Tom Brady to give me a Frappachino Mustache.

Drew said...

I keep trying to click Louis Gossett Jr so I can see if we're still on for dinner (at that revolving restaurant) and a showing of "Little Man."

SlickBomb said...

"How to annoy readers about Katrina while taking black manseed on my face"?

Both completely shocking, and completely hillarious. Well done, MMP. Keep it up.