Saturday, July 29, 2006

Next Up On KSK: Dead Baby Jokes!

When it comes to comedy, I am a man of incredibly low standards with an almost religious zeal for tastelessness. But even I have my limits, and here they are:

Fair Game:
-Everyone not named Mary Beth King

Not Fair Game:
-Mary Beth King

Violate the second rule and you find out very quickly what it feels like to be Carl Monday for a day. My friends, that is a deep, dark place I do not wish to visit again any time soon. Oh, and no making fun of Dorothy Mantooth, either. So the Peter King posts come down. Here, in their place, is the lovely Miss Heidi of the Sea Gals, who can interrupt any goddamn Raiders game she pleases. Thanks to swing4 for the good advice.


But stay tuned next week. We have some absolutely killer 9/11 victim jokes ready to go!

NOTE: As you well know, this is a fairly amateurish blog. You publish a regrettable post and you do your best to rectify it. If that makes us shameless hypocrites and spineless pussies, eh, I can live with that. Anyway, whichever severely pissed-off commenter does the best Gordon Ramsay impression below gets their own post next week.

UPDATE: Captain Caveman has an unfunny and only slightly repentant post at Karmic Payback, a title of dark foreshadowing if ever there was one.

55 comments:

swing4 said...

Also funny: any joke involving "the blood of 100 puppies". I always hate myself for finding that phrase amusing.

In my opinion, you did the right/best thing, BDD, by taking down the Mary Beth posts. I'm sure some people will be upset, however, so might I suggest that you post the previously mentioned picture of the SeaGal on all fours in their place? You know, distract the malcontents with something shiny...or lasciviously suggestive.

Beban said...

As always, I defer to your discretion. If you take MBK away, I respect it. If you leave MBK around, I mock her ALFness. I guess I'm saying that I go where the jokes are. In any event, I appreciate the effort.

Beban said...

Oh, and 9/11 jokes rock the house. Dont' be afraid.

The holocaust is also money.

matt said...

it's not a question of standards or tastelessness, dumbass. peter king is public figure - he's fair game. his daughter is not a public figure, so she isn't. it's a simple calculus.

it's shit like this that degrades real work by talented people. there are good writers doing blogs out there, and then...there's morons like you who take what they used to write on bathroom walls and gone electric with it.

let the flaming commence, mouthbreathing morons.

Anonymous said...

Either don't put them up and be the nice guys you appear to want to be OR don't be a pussy and leave them up.

The ugly bitch deserved it and so does her father.

Beban said...

Um, Matt, I'm wondering where you're coming from. The "offensive" posts were taken off the site, and all is well.

Is the mock outrage a function of some other agenda, or are you just behind the times?

In any event, Mary Beth King is hot. There, I said it.

Chillonamill said...

Isn't she a college field hockey player. Last time I checked, that was enough for the WasPost to write a story shitting on a former classmate of mine. Anyway, the issue is dead....back to the usual asshattery.

Stunnedmonkey said...

In March of last year I got part of my lower disk removed in my back. If you want, I can send you that piece of spine so you can start forming one.

I keed, I keed. The world needs people like us or else we will be filled with a world full of "matt's". If that happens, then the terrorists have won.

Alex said...

I thought we were gonna get Katie the Sea Gal. I had a Married, With Children joke all locked and loaded.

So perhaps this is for the best, after all.

Anonymous said...

I'm kind've pissed that you removed all of the comments to your posts as well.

So does this also mean you won't post pictures of drunk athletes? After all, most of those pics are snapped by someone else, and Kyle Orton didn't post them himself.

Randy Moss' rear, Janet Jackson's nipple, and Mary Beth King's face are all considered too offensive to be shown...

Joe Buck lives!

Splendini said...

Opie and Anthony were right!

flubby said...

When matt was referring to the good writers on the blogosphere, I hope he wasn't including himself in those ranks. Christ, man, you make stringing a couple of sentences together look like Chinese algebra. matt, your legal analysis is flawed to say the least. Tell you what, you refrain from practicing law, and I promise not to come down where you work and tell you when the fries are done.

i am mosi tatupu's receiving stats said...

Here's what offends me. Because certain bloggers don't know where the boundary lines are, citizen journalism stays marginalized and the jobs of dipshits like Peter King and Scoop Jackson stay safe and unthreatened. You'll likely end up shooting yourselves in the feet enough times to finally figure this out.

So there isn't a happy ending to this story that doesn't involve Captain Caveman's head on a stick. Let's roll!

Anonymous said...

Well, I'd suggest she became a public figure the moment her dumbass father decided to talk about her in his national column and she could easily remove herself from the public view by asking her father to stop talking about her to his national audience.

Similarly, if she doesn't want pictures where she looks retarded posted in random places, maybe she shouldn't post pictures where she looks retarded on facebook/myspace.


Certainly, I respect KSK's decision to take this down, but let's not pretend that KSK was horribly wrong here or anything in their original decision.

Dweeze said...

Good move. Hell, not just a good move, the right thing to do. Making shit of someone because of something their parent did is wrong, no matter how many ways you want to come at it.

Oh and Challenger, Helen Keller, and dead baby jokes still crack me up even after all these years.

Anonymous said...

It takes a big man to admit they made a mistake, and it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man. But I am not that man, and think you guys played it well by taking it down.

KaLiBLeeK said...

Well I don't care what BDD or anybody says; I'm still taking Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner, and NEVER calling her again!

flubby's comment = GOLD.

And I'm rather annoyed about the public figure/not a public figure debate. I assumed since the post was taken down, it would be over; I just hope this isn't a sign that this post will reach 100+ comments because of THAT debate again.

Suss & The Family Stone said...

Host: "It's time once again to to make fun of..."

Audience: "PARTIAL! BIRTH! ABORTION!"

Anonymous said...

I'm more inclined to go with the she's a public figure after sleeping on it and thinking for awhile.

Peter King reported on the Montclair HWomen's Field Hockey team, and more than once even interviewed Mary Beth for the column. So how come his subject gets immunity from being a public figure (although if she was under 18 at the time, I can see how there is some argument against it). It's not like he limited his reports on her to "Mary Beth in college" type of stuff.

If we can post pictures of male high school athletes (Greg Odom), than we can certainly do the same to female... I mean isn't that what equal rights is all about?

Everyone up in arms over this probably loved the voyeueristic pictures of the Mets drinking (along with their crowd), Kyle Orton having fun, and Gary Williams staying in touch with the campus.

Splendini said...

I'm just glad I saved that picture of her snatch.

Crazy Little Thing said...

Gordon Ramsey impression:

You fucking donkey! You don't get burned then run out of the kitchen like a fucking wanker! I can't believe it!

PUBoiler78 said...

I'm failing to see why it matters if she's a public figure or not. Why does this bother some people so much? We make fun of strangers on the internet everyday, many doing so while being/looking exactly the same as the subject.

There was probably some sort of line crossed with the "this is your daughter and we have pics of her" thing, but that's only on a personal level between PK and KSK. Any father would be pissed. But again, how is this any different from ridiculing Lee Hotti? Is it because we don't "know" who Lee Hotti is?

Unsilent Majority said...

jesus, i go on vacation for two days and the world damn near explodes. granted mary beth does't deserve to be slammed in the blogosphere, then again, peter king should never have made her a focal point. Tony Kornheiser learned his lesson about fifteen years ago when he stopped mentioning his wife in his columns.
carry on my wayward blogosphere.

Mary-Beth King said...

Get away from me, KSK!

Unsilent Majority said...

well played mbk


...so when does football season start?

Sir Reginald Dickey said...

Dear Sir:

MBK, who is not related to MLK, or at least I don't think she is, doesn't deserve her to see her name and face plastered all over the internet. That said, once you put it up it's best to leave it up even if your wrong. You lost credibility, such as it is, by backing down and giving in like a Frenchman on the Maginot Line.

I liked reading you because you were edgy but now you have descended into PC hell.

Beazer said...

I liked the part CC wrote in his 'explanation' about how you were only getting hits because you did something controversial, not because you wrote something good or interesting.

To me, it just seemed like a huge plea for readers. "Come visit Kissing Suzy Kolber because we have the balls to do this"! And you really don't need that...you have quite enough good reasons for folks to visit this place.

Andrew said...

Well. This whole thing was... awkward.

So annnyways, topic change?

Are there any other KSK readers interested in a Fantasy Football league, since not all of us were invited to the Super-Duper-Deadspin League?

I'd think pretty highly of anyone that follows this blog, so maybe there's a group of us that could get a good league together.

Landru said...

It's your blog, you can do what you want. Or not. Others, with other opinions, can do their own blogs, where they do what they want.

But there are no legal implications--she's clearly a public figure, despite ignorant assertions to the contrary. If the posts crossed some line you're not willing to cross, that's fine--do what you want. But there was no serious hint of legal difficulty there. It's called "parody," and it's been a legally legitimate form of expression for hundreds of years, despite some clowns' inability to understand that.

Part of this isn't her fault, bcause her father is an asshat and bragged all over her in print. Part of it is her fault, because she "plastered" her own pics "all over the Internet."

As for attention...I got a crapload of blog hits once not long ago simply because I mentioned the name of some Euroskank model. Of whom I had never heard until I referenced her. Go figure. You wanna be an attention whore? There's nothing wrong with it. And there's nothing wrong with feeling bad about it.

Oh, and Dweeze had hot monkey sex with the corpse of Helen Keller. On a sheet of wreckage from Challenger. On 9/11. Just sayin'.

KaLiBLeeK said...

I think I speak for 50%-75% of the readers here when I say...I never want to hear the phrase "public figure" for at least 5 years.

And Reggie signed a contract. Now we don't have to hear Mariotti and anybody else being d-bags and pulling the "how could he do this to New Orleans?!" card during an extended holdout.

Unsilent Majority said...

the bush signing is a true blessing...no more of mike greenberg's garbage about him possibly holding out all year.

Anonymous said...

Mary Beth King is German for "Whale's Vagina"

billypaultzrules said...

You guys always crack me up. Personally, I would have loved to see you stick it out in the face of a tidal wave of PC bullshit, buy i can also understand why it probably isn't worth the hassle.

Look forward to the upcoming season.

Colgate said...

Aaaw shit, i´m 4 days away from computer and shit hits the fan...

you deleted those posts, thank god bloglines saved them for me to read aloud to my friends...

PurduePaul said...

You bloody, spineless wanker, you took those posts down. Well you should have awhile ago, I will admit Peter King makes me wanna stick him in a room with a bunch of Carnivorous old ladies who love talking about bridge and how they love to eat old aging sportswriters, however his daughter is way out of bonds...but that picture of her was funny.

YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK....GOODBYE!

Son of Brasky said...

This blog went to hell. Stick to sports satire.

Marla Collins said...

Nice call guys - I feel free to love you again.

Big Al said...

If i may Qoute Wesley Snipes from one the best movies ever, Blade II, - "Sissieeess"

American Vulture said...

Lame. You kiss Peter King's ass in a way that makes Peter King's kissing of Brett Favre's ass look almost respectable.

DollaBill said...

" Making shit of someone because of something their parent did is wrong, no matter how many ways you want to come at it. "

Dweeze, bullshit dude. My History teacher in high school failed me when I deserved a D at least, lol. Well, his daughter went to our rival high school. She was as repugnant as MBK, maybe worse, didn't weigh as much though. Anyways I was at a party one night a couple months later and she was there drunk as fuck, and I had that bitch on her knees doin' the damn thing while I was coppin a squat. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Btw, cummin' and shittin' at the same time is incredible, don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

rich uncle skeleton said...

That's a shame fellas, that was some fun stuff.

landru has the legal argument right on...she absolutely is a public figure and she voluntarily put photos of herself on the net. She's fair game. It was all tasteless as fuck, but a rippin' good time nonetheless!

Anonymous said...

Fuck Peter King and fuck his stupid daughter. That assbag BROUGHT her into the public eye via his incessant yammering about her. She's totally fair game. Hope you guys change your mind.

Son of Brasky said...

dollabill, I believe the official name of the act you describe is a "blumpkin".

Dollabill? I didn't know it was 'token 1997 rap name' day at KSK. In that case, call me 'Curly-G-Craddle-Rock' for the rest of the day.

DollaBill said...

Sorry I couldn't come up with some real cool name like 'son of brasky', I have no idea why you chose that name probably some inside thing, kinda like why I chose Dollabill who woulda thunk it wow. But assume away by all means.

Son of Brasky said...

Just joking around dude. I just saw a rare opportunity to make an obscure reference to one of the 'Jerky Boys' albums.

DollaBill said...

no harm no foul. It's all good s.o.b.

Mike said...

Thank you, Drew, for putting a GOOD pic up.

Anonymous said...

Nomar, fantasy football league, lets do it

BigRicks said...

Nomar, fantasy football league, let's do it. (sorry abotu the anonymous post).

Anonymous said...

bravo for taking down the mary beth king post, you effing no-balls-having sissies

the_rausch said...

I think we're all missing the original point of the post, which was to get PK stop writing about coffee, intestines, and human tragedy (unless its Bill Parcells' explosive diarrhea)
This is a worth cause and should be pursued by any means necessary.

Anonymous said...

So who assigned responsibility of the readers of this site to judge the morality of the postings and stick up for the rights of others? Are you super hero wannabe tree hugging hippies going to patrole all of blogdome and save us all from humor you find tasteless?

Grow up, and don't read it if you find it offensive.

josch said...

I'm curious if there was any actual contact from any actual PK representatives, or was the post removed just to satisfy the PC cobags? Mary Beth King is hawt, I'm with spendini!

Luis Sojo Jr. said...

Once Mary Beth turns 22.3, you can make fun of her, because that's the length of time it takes before something becomes funny.

Good call on taking it down. There's poor taste, and there's unfunny poor taste.

Anonymous said...

YOU PUNKED OUT B/C OF CORPORATE CONCERNS.

It was kind of stupid to post the photo originally, though the text surrounding it was dead-on accurate. Now you have less than no credibility; you've given up your originality...

perhaps taking her pic down was justifiable, but this over-reaction is lame. I came to this site to follow up on the 'story' b/c it was funny and truthful. What a waste.