Things to do in Miami when Pro Football Talk thinks you're dead

Last week, Pro Football Talk momentarily posted a blurb about Terry Bradshaw's supposed tragic demise that they later had to hastily retract. We at KSK were not sucked into PFT's speculation, unlike last time. In that spirit, we are seeking to dispel a few of the rumors flying around the NFL in the days before Super Bowl XLI.

Terry sez: "I'm not dead yet."

Rumor: League security is working closely with federal and state officials investigating an organized crime summit being held in Miami at the same time as the Super Bowl.
Fact: The Cincinnati Bengals did not schedule a team trip to the Super Bowl.
Rumor: Players and coaches on media day were surprisingly familiar with the sports bloggers' medium and collective body of work.
Fact: Ricky Manning Jr. will slap the shit out of your nerd ass.

Rumor: Tony Dungy has agreed to appear before a bigoted, hateful crowd in Indiana.
Fact: Tony Dungy has not agreed to act as honorary starter for the Brickyard 400.

Rumor: Demand for high-grade coke is running far ahead of supply on South Beach this week.
Fact: The Cincinnati Bengals did not schedule a team trip to the Super Bowl.

"Didya ever notice how funny your hand looks when you're high?"

Rumor: Bill Simmons says Kissing Suzy Kolber takes embarrassing pictures of celebrities and posts them in order to bump their hits.
Fact: We also provide uncredited material for NFL Sunday Countdown, just ask Sal Paolantonio.

Rumor: Lovie Smith will coach the Dallas Cowboys next season.
Fact: You are a horrible person and reek of urine.

Rumor: If Captain Caveman gets shut out on Super Bowl tickets, he's going to tape a picture of the Spain Train to the back of the With Leather intern's head.
Fact: Actually, this one is true. Sorry dude.

Sadlly, not a rumor: the 'Mars Blackmon look' claimed many fashion victims.

To make up for the video above I (UM) give you this masterpiece...