Sunday, January 7, 2007

This is Our Cotchery

It's 10-10 midway through the 2nd quarter in New England and the game so far isn't shaping up to be the Patriots blowout that dribbling cocksnot Bill Simmons said it would.

More importantly, KSK favorite Jerricho Cotchery has scored on a 77-yard catch and run. The Mangini nips are hard. Hopefully, dipshit commenter Beantown, who I suspect may be Deadspin dipshit commenter supermike2, is shitting himself.

I realize I just probably jinxed the Jets.


B said...

In light of the Jets shitting the bed, I blame their Pop warner level defense, Pennington's charmin' soft passing and you posting this bullshit during the game.

I hope Belichek gets Hep C from his next daliance with your Mom.

Ugh, I wish the team planes for the Pats and Dolphins crashed into each other, it would make the world a better place. Fucking bunch of assholes.

Beantown said...

Wow - I feel honored to be mentioned. Wasn't concerned the whole game, I had the score in my office pool at 31-17. Complete domination by the Pats. You really didn't think the Jets were going to win in Gillette, where Brady and BB are 10-1 in the playoffs, now 11-1?

On to SD, let's see what the rook's got!

Laser Rocket Arm said...

I had to stop watching the game because I was entertaining fantasies of flying up to Boston, tracking down Tom Brady and playing mailbox baseball with his badly coiffed head. As in checking airfares on my laptop. I'm not kidding.

Of course, that lateral Chad threw and their shitty defense didn't help either.

Oh well, if the Giants lose the day won't be a total loss.

flubby said...

Ape wasn't the only one to jump the gun. In a half-time interview with CBS, Shawne Merriman predicted the Jets would win today's game even though they were down by seven at the time. I imagine this factoid will find its way to the Pats' bulletin board this week as they prepare for the Chargers.

Maybe steroids really do cause brain damage.

Christmas Ape said...

This is same sort of whooping I heard last year when the Pats administered a beatdown to the Jags on Wild Card weekend in Foxboro, only to get to ol' heave-ho on the road the next week.

"I love it more when KSK wears egg on their face."

Meh. We're a humor site, we're not here to make expert picks. Our only goal is to make people laugh, and failing that, piss them off. The Patriots fans, smug and self-serious, always fall into the latter category.

Brigadier Pudding said...

bolts by 24.

Tom said...

You know, if NFL officiating actually did its job correctly that Pats playoff W-L record wouldn't be quite as good.

Beantown said...

PLease do not be one of this people that think the Pats are lucky to be where they are. They believe in depth, smart football players, passion and good coaching. And so far it's working. You don't win like 22 games in a row by luck. Your not 11-1 in the playoffs by getting calls. Because we all know what you are refering to - the tuck rule. How do you explain the other two Super Bowls?

I went through twenty years of Grogan and Eason and the Pats sucking ass! Don't be that guy - you are better than that eyesandears, stay classy!

Christmas Ape - see above, smug with a Patriots fan is fucking funny unless you are like twenty years old. Take my son for example, he has no clue that the Pats once was the AZ Cards...

8hrdrive said...

As with Indy, the refs in the Pats game don't seem to have a keen eye for holding like they do in the regular season. Especially if you're a NE offensive lineman.

Roger Goodell had great seats for this game. He was sitting on Bob Kraft's lap. The CEO from CBS was in a violent fist fight/oil wrestling match with Chris Berman over that valuable piece of real estate. Looks like RG snuck in the back door.

Whispers said...

Timely post.

Glad to see the Patriots haters are back in form. It's so charming to see you guys every playoff season.

And good job overreacting to a missed tackle. FWIW, you didn't jinx the Jets. The Jets just aren't that good.