Sunday, January 21, 2007

C'mon, Institutional Racism!

Despite the Steelers' denials, it's becoming more and more apparent that Mike Tomlin will be hired as their next head coach over Russ Tice Grimm. And, as a Viking fan, I can't say I'm all that pleased about it. You'll have to forgive the homer post. I try to avoid talking the Vikings here for two reasons. The first is that I don't want to come across as some insufferable asswipe who thinks everyone gives a shit about my particular team. The second is that the Vikings were the single dullest team in the NFL this year. No offense. No big plays. No dildos. No fun.

It's becoming more apparent to fans like myself that current coach Brad Childress is an average coach who possesses all the charisma of an Ikea nightstand. Tomlin is his polar opposite: young, energetic, personable, and black. I don't think many Viking fans would have bitched if Childress had been fired this year so that Tomlin could assume control. Alas, the Steelers have noticed Tomlin's potential and appear ready to take advantage. Really, the only thing standing between them and their new coach is a decades-old glass ceiling. And, as a Viking fan, all I can do is hope that ceiling stays intact for just one more year. C'mon Rooneys. For old time's sake, don't hire this man. Let us keep him. He's too young! Yeah! And, uh... inexperienced! You totally don't want that! He doesn't reflect your gleaming white fan base! Players may relate to him! Etcetera!

Go Grimmy!


Christmas Ape said...

He doesn't reflect your gleaming white fan base!

Yeah, he just adores the blindingly white Vikings fanbase.

And what is this? A homer post involving the Steelers not written by me? This must be for that Bears Haters Guide where I tried to emulate the Sex Cannon.

Raskolnikov said...

Drew, you'd only become an asswipe if you wrote 500 straight posts about the Vikings. Or if Mrs. Drew picks more winners than you.