Thursday, November 30, 2006

I'm Putting My Money on the Gap-Toothed Bagel Nosher in Jersey

Welcome to the 12th edition of our weekly feature, Always Be Covering. The following is a sample of the games that I find particularly intriguing.

While I may appear startlingly brilliant (or possibly not) you must remember that this is a humor site. Gamble at your own peril you degenerate son of a bitch.

Good lord, the New York Giants of New Jersey are falling apart right before my eyes...and I couldn't be happier. As I hater of all things NFC East that don't incorporate the proud Injun logo nothing pleases me more than watching the collapse. The icing on the cake is the glut of douchenizzles (sic) occupying the field every Sunday.

Granted there are a lot of players that I hate (in fact hate is quite possibly my favorite word...after nosh) but combining the likes of Eli "More Archie than Peyton" Manning, Jeremy Shockey, Plaxico Burress, and Michael Strahan is just too much.

Strahan and his former teammate boyfriend Jason Sehorn,
he's smiling because he has a finger up Strahan's anus.

Now that the everybody has gotten to know the pugnacious bagel-chomping yenta for the crazy fucker that he is the picture is complete. With a coach who's always struck me as a closet necrophiliac I think the Giants team is finally ready to die. Which is why this week's primary pick is so damn easy.

The NY Giants of NJ +4
vs. The Tony Romo Experience

That's right bitch (no not you mom...go away...Because this is my basement! it weird that I read aloud while typing? I think somebody snuck some PCP in this peyote) I'm taking the Giants. Why? Because we're gambling on the NFL and I'M OUT OF FUCKING IDEAS! This shit doesn't make any sense and sometimes you just gotta say, what the fuck...

Yeah, I spend my winnings on high class whores...jealous?

Who do you like this week? We welcome you to share all of your ill-fated picks in the comment section.

***This is probably one of the last posts of "Giants Bashing Week" here at KSK...enjoy.


Big Daddy Drew said...

Best sex scene ever.

I have to go now.

Unsilent Majority said...

Strahan/Sehorn or Cruise/De Mornay?

becky said...

gmen are out to ruin my life and my gpa. don't put money on them ever.

Unsilent Majority said...

If your GPA matches Jeremy Shockey's BAC you get automatic A's in all your classes.

PUNTE said...

Rebecca de Mornay. Goddamn.

8hrdrive said...

Rebecca de Morney is a hooker in every movie she's ever made. I like that. She's dirty. and naughty. and....oh yes!

She's hotter than donut grease.

Unknown said...

"closet necrophiliac"--good one UM, touche'

Unsilent Majority said...

cecil, as far as i'm concerned it's not gay bashing unless the guy is actually gay. i mock strahan because his own damn wife tried to out him during his divorce.

i love gay people, they're a clean and joy filled people.


Signal to Noise said...

I hate to even think it, but has Tom Cruise's recent bat-shit-nuts behavior diminshed this movie slightly, despite the ever-present-hotness of De Mornay?

I have a hard time shaking this.

Skins (-1) on the Falcons -- Atlanta's corners can't cover lately and see their owner's comments about their wide receivers.
Seattle (+4) at Denver -- I hate betting against my team, but rookie QB's first start + recent malfunctions in the Shanahan Tailback Factory = Hawks cover.