Monday, December 31, 2007

I Believe It’s In The Fans’ Interests To Expand The Playoff Field To 28 Teams

Mister Commissioner, after seeing the Cleveland Browns eliminated from postseason play despite a very good 10-6 record, I think it’s time to re-evaluate how our playoff field is set. This is a long, hard season. These men fight tooth and nail for 16 weeks. Why should some teams be rewarded with playoff slots merely because they have the good fortune of residing in an inferior conference? And why should some teams be denied entrance merely because they are inferior?

This is why I think it’s best for the competitive interests of the game if we were to expand the playoff field to 28 teams. Now, I’m not saying this because the team I run, the Kansas City Chiefs, would qualify as the 28th seed in such a scenario. Far from it. Although we did have an EXCELLENT season given the circumstances. Don’t listen to the swarm of negativity out there, Commissioner. We have a great core of players, and I’m quite sure every personnel move I made was the exact right one and will be validated sometime within the next 37 years. No doubt about that.

No, I want to expand the field to 28 teams because it’s in the best interests of the fans. Haven’t Lion fans suffered long enough? 7-9 is a really good record for that team. They should be in. The Ravens nearly beat the Patriots! Are you telling me they don’t deserve a bid? That’s foolish. And what about the Falcons? After all they’ve been through? Surely they deserve a spot.

Now, not everyone should get into the playoffs. Like the Dolphins. Fuck them. Or the Rams. Fuck them. They totally suck. I’m all for only the elite teams making the postseason. And since I am among the elite general managers in all of sport, surely my team should be included as well. Doesn’t that make sense to you? WE HAVE JARED FUCKING ALLEN! THAT’S A PLAYOFF PLAYER RIGHT THERE!

I also think we should all get postseason bye weeks. Why should only the best teams get a week off? That’s an unfair competitive advantage. No, no, no. Everyone should get a week off. Then the top 4 teams get another bye, then the remaining 24 teams play each other. I think that’s really the best way to go. Though I think, given the Chiefs’ heritage and everything Lamar Hunt has done for the league, that perhaps we should receive one of those byes as well. Again, this is strictly in the interests of the fans. This is a better league when the Chiefs do well, even when they do not.

So let’s make that happen, Mr. Commissioner. Otherwise, I’ll have a hard time convincing people I’m not a complete fuckhead.


Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Furthermore, Mr. Peterson would like to point out that as a general manager he has led the league business casual attire, leather accessories, slick back haircuts, turtlenecks and fake tanning fifteen years running.

Jackie Battle the Kolby Smith of 2008

Dubya said...

Any team with Herm Edwards as head coach should get an automatic playoff spot, a bye, and the #1 draft pick.

Just because.

StuScottBooyahs said...

They're not even the best racial stereotype in the league.

JAMMQ said...

Where the fuck is my post-season edition of Hard Knocks HBO?

I really want to see Carl Peterson explain how he's surprised this whole Brodie Croyle thing didn't work out.

jackin'4beats said...

This dicksmack is like those parents who think all of their kids should get a trophy just because the rejection of losing is just unbearable. "My little Billy shouldn't be subjected to failure because I have failed as a parent and I would rather be his friend."

Fuck off Peterson, and tell little Billy to grow a pair and play harder next year you pansy.

Martha Van Bork said...

Did Carl Peterson set up the Hot Blogger brackets?

Matt said...

If only some gifted individual could convince the Hunt family that King Carl is, in fact, a complete fuckhead.

Olentangy said...

Roger Goodell...please please please find a way to get someone, anyone buy out Clark Hunt. The guy is a complete incompetent for letting a clown like Peterson run the franchise. T thought the NFL wanted franchises to TRY to win, not just remain mediocre enought to not lose their fanbases.

Unknown said...

My family's had Chiefs season tickets since 1964, and trust me, we've seen a lot of bad football. But it's as bad now as it ever was, only we're paying out the nose for the privilege of watching the Chiefs. Mr. Peterson has made the Hunts a ton of money, and "let's not forget, this is a business." Mr. Peterson's real legacy is making an assload of money for Lamar and now, Clark Hunt. That's why you'll find this asshat's picture in the dictionary next to "hubris," and why things are as desperate here now as they were in the Frank "Crash" Gansz daze. Pray for us.

Otto Man said...

What pops said. I remember the Steve Deberg Era, and this season blew it out of the water.

I was actually rooting for a loss this Sunday just so we could move up the draft order. Apparently, Carl and I are on the same page. It's all part of his plan for A Winning Season in 2018.

I'm never signing the no-drinking and no-drugging pledge, though.

Unknown said...

What pops said, what ottoman said.

Die King Carl, Die!!!!

Why won't you die?!?!?!?!