Friday, January 25, 2008

KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pick: Herschel Walker

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, college football great turned author Herschel Walker

The surprise on your face is as plain as the harvest moon in the clear October sky. "Moses Stoltzfus, what do the Amish know of Foot Ball?," you may ask. During my rumspringa, Brownie Eli and I traveled by the bus to the city called "Dover" to satisfy our boyish curiosity about the English and the ways of their World. There we went to a merchant called Sears & Roebuck to see their collection of whetstones, as my family's saw had grown quite dull. There I was first introduced to the television and Patriot Foot Ball. The color and noise was simultaneously glorious and sinful! How that bawdy diversion inflamed the humours!

After my return to Hempfield, I could not chase the thoughts of Foot Ball from the corners of my consciousness lo these many years. I tell my dear Rebecca that the newspaper is a necessary worldly intrusion since it holds the schedule for the Farmers' Markets where we trade our bread for assorted sundries-- and verily this is so. But, when alone I pore over the newspaper for news of my beloved Patriots. Were that my team of oxen were as mighty as those known as Koppen and Light.

O, Brother Belichick! How your weatherbeaten visage reminds me that of my dear departed Mother. They say you are dishonest, but I would never shun thee. I eagerly await news of the outcome of this Super Bowl. I predict a Patriot victory and a bumper crop of squash.


Clock Cleaner said...

Are thee at barn-raisings often?

If our religion didn't forbid the use of telephones, I would ask thee for thy number.

Hank Scorpio said...

Man, that is as wordy as Easterbook.

Otto Man said...

Well played.

But the key reason he likes the Patriots is that they're coached by Belichek, who wears a simple drab hoodie with no fasteners of any kind. And as anyone who's seen the Amish documentary "Witness" will tell you, buttons are prideful.