Emergency KSK Commenter Draft: Name This Baby
While we know quite a bit about Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan, details about the kid are still sparse. We know it's a boy and...well, that's about it. Tom Brady, we must imagine, is surely overwhelmed with the realization that his life is now over. Yeah, being a dad is great and whatever (that's what I read, anyway), but as he watches a promising career of pure bachelorhood evaporate before his eyes, his latest acquisition now toils in this mortal neo-natal world of ours, nameless.
Sadly, our newly-papoosed prodigal passer might be mere hours from being slapped with some ridiculous Hollywood-inspired child's name like "Coco" or "Apple." Or worse, he could spend his life shouldering even something more uninspired, like "4real" or "@." Hey, @, how are you today? What's that, @? Could you repeat that, @? What's your email address, again?
We cannot let this happen. This is, after all, A Baby Of Destiny. We must rise to this occasion as voices of reason, and hope that, for all our collective efforts, one name stands above all. For this draft, you are naming this baby. You know the rules. I will go first.
Anakin Bootylicious Brady.
Pick a name. Wait ten picks. Pick another name. If you have time, mock and ridicule the ones that fuck this up. Time is a factor here. The fate of the future lies in your hands.
Go.
175 comments:
Bryce Maximus Brady. What, LeBron already named his kid that?
Baby Jesus Brady the Second
Superman
4real Brady
If you think that kid's last name will be Brady, you don't know much about baby mommas.
Tinkerbell Moynahan.
Revenge is a child best served cold.
God
Valdir Bundchen Brady
I went with this one over at WL due to the fact that both his parents are Irish: Potato Famine Brady.
Tuck Rule Moynahan
Brad Beckham Brady...Because a jock and a actress are completely unoriginal
Weakarm McScreenpass Brady
Ahura Mazda Brady
Construda Moynahan Brady.
It has a nice ring to it.
Matt Light Moynahan. One of his five layers of protection let him down.
Carlos Belichik Moynahan.
Peyton Manning Moynahan. I mean really, could there be any sweeter revenge?
Moms Meal Ticket Brady
I -Could-Be-Your-Stepmom-OR-At-Least-Would-Like-to-Have-My-Shot-at-Fucking-Your-Dad.
Too long?
Brady Quinn Brady
@miamidiesel
+1
Soda
Don't Let Belichick Around My Dad's New Fling Cuz He'll Steal Her Too Brady
Eli Manning Brady...and yes diesal there is sweeter revenge
Rex Grossman Jr.
Pembroke Worthington Brady, future St. Paul's Man.
Mr. Baby
Young Dirty Bastard Moynahan-Brady
Mommy's Little Jackpot
Rich Uncle Pennybags
Jizz-elle Brady
Syphillis Brady
Elmer Fudd Moynahan
vanilla ice ice baby moynahan
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynahan Brady
Brady Quinn Moynahan
Feathers Moynahan
Seeking Weekday Daddy Moynahan
Kige Ramsey Moynahan
Masshole O'Douche Brady
Nickname: Sully
optimus "one baby to rule them all" moynahan
Dimaggio Jeter Brady....Eat it Bostonians
Mo Lewis Moynahan
Giselebert Brady
Rikki Tikki Tavi Moynaghan-Brady
Tomfucked Lefty Moynahan
(insert photoshop of Tom giving it to Lefty here)
Osama-bin-Laden-and-Al-Qaeda-are-the-
shit Moynahan-Brady. Let's see the so-called 'Golden Boy' run for President after that one...
Fidelity 401k Moynahan.
Cause, really, isn't that kid a guarantee she'll never have to appear in Father of the Bride III, or soft-core porn?
Misplas d'Cum O'Thomas Brady
Michael Marcus Brady.
Because two Vicks are better than one.
He really ought to have "Peyton" in there somewhere, though.
Ronald Mexico Brady, "Mex" for short
Already Overrated Brady
George Dubya Brady...He is popular in red states
Simmons' Daughter's Future Date Rapist Moynahan
feel free to substitute "Impregnator" if I'm being too horrific.
Tom Is-my-baby-daddy Brady-Moynahan
pussy shrapnel moynahan
Paddy O'Goaliepulling Koolaid Moynahan.
Maroney will be the godfather, obvi.
Ropecock Lasso Brady
Randy Moss Brady
Ropecock P. Shrapnel Brady
Big Bossy Barbaro Brady
Most likely to be Gay Brady
Max Power
Fuck. I'm torn between Asante See Even My Fucking Kid Is A Better Corner Than You and I Can Has Repeat Superbowl Peyton.
Can you come back to me?
name it after one of mom's hit movies:
I, Brady Moynahan
Peter K. "The Sports Baby" Brady.
James Dungy Moynahan.
/ducks
as per WWTDD, "you might as well have gotten John Wayne to have a baby with the Statue of Liberty."
John Wayne Liberty Moynahan.
F. Tom Brady
Vigo Zuul Brady-Moynahan, because I'm guessing there were some crossed streams in mommy's honey pot at the time of conception.
Victoriassecretsucks Moynahan
Shoodabin Aborted Brady
like I said on withleather...
"Steve Smith"
Leonidas Moynahan
My name is Inigo Montoya Moynahan. You knocked up my mother. Prepare to die.
A Baa Boded Morning Myth Try
Had to use their names to form a new name. Not sure what it means, but who cares, the kid needs a name!!!!! It can't be called 'it'. 'hey you' 'oh shit, she said she was on the pill' - or maybe they can??
ok, lot of picks, but I am in a meeting for the rest of the day, thus tossing them all in now.
Ropecock Begone Brady
Powerbottom Brady
Joey Joe Joe Junior Shababrady
Woody Hayes Moynahan
Now that I think about it, "It" is sounding more and more appealing by the minute. That's my pick, It Brady.
I already named this kid SUPER FUCKIN' BRADY in the last post, but I'll take a stab at another one.
FROZEN ROPE BRADY
'fro for short.
bob seger
Thanks for not making us look at the birth pic anymore.
Weak Stream Brady.
Mavulous Mavrick Tom Brady. Oh wait, that name is taken.
http://www2.ljworld.com/photos/2007/jun/03/125378/
AtLeastImNotaLeinart Moynahan.
Mitch Cummstein
John Jacob Jingleheimer Brady. His name is my name too.
My Dad is a DOUCHE Brady
Greg?
Peter King Brady
Protection Failed Brady
Michael Thomas Brady...
... if she wants to get back at him Mike Brady-style
Shoulda Pulled Out Brady
The Son Of The Man Who Won All Those Super Bowls Because He Had A Great Defense Not Because He Was Such A Good QB-Hell He Couldnt Even Stop His Sperm From Being Intercepted By the Egg Brady
Nathan Allan Reed-Brady
Damn work! I wanted in on this one... oh well.
Ann Arbor Brady.
F it... he'll be able to whoop your ass like the boy named Sue AND, in 2024, he'll be starting at QB for Michigan as a freshman.
Andrew William Ruemenapp-Brady
Sunshine 3-rings Brady-Moynahan
Tucker
"Gisele is a syphilitic whore Brady."
Or "7".
Setforlife Brady-Moynihan.
KOLBER NAMATH BRADY
Kol for short
Giselewhore Moynahan
I had it first, Motumbo!
Fine, Tom Brady Jr.
"Gisele is a syphilitic whore Brady."
I really should read all the way through first, shouldn't I?
@ Josh
+ 1
"Simmons' Daughter's Future Date Rapist Moynahan" cracked my shit up.
I'm having sex with the cousin! SEVEN!!!!
@awful chief: Tucker Rule Brady, I take it?
William Lloyd Moynahan-Brady.
They'll get trendy or something and call the kid "Liam."
Lloyd Braun Brady
"A lifetime of Oedipal issues and psychotherapy" Moynahan?
(Nickname: I wanna do my mommy and my stepmommy).
TVDaddyLovesMe Moynihan
Ted Brogan Brady
@signal to noise:
exactly. Great opportunity for him to yell "Tucker Rules!" excessively in high school, pissing everyone off.
Genetic Lotterywinner Moyni-Brady
Bastard
Steely McDreamboat
Tom "Momma said she was on the pill" Brady, Jr.
Drew Hensoncansuckamydick Brady
Sam Alexis Brady
Steely McBeam Brady
Some of your guesses are so uninspired. I believe that Mrs. Bridgette will go with Seven Bort Brady.
Stitchface
Barry Barclay Brady
Nice call Ape.
Koolaid Chowder Brady
Bo Schembechler Brady
His nickname will be RIP.
Stinky Weaselteeth Moynahan
@ christmas ape - stellar performance, sir.
I'm going with:
ROETHLISHBERGER SUCKS BRADY
Maybe Roth or 'Berg for short...
@justin
It's Chowdah Brady! Frenchie! Now come back here, I'm not through demeaning you.
I Wanna DO My Stepmom Moynaham
If not Giselle the future mrs. brady will be in that range.
Favre Brady.
NFL commenters couldn't even say that name without busting a nut.
Oliver
The dopey looking kid none of the other Brady's wanted who soon sunk into the abyss of total TV F'ups never to be seen again.
wv - tobchily (Oliver's middle name)
and I left my meeting because I said I am on a mission to name this kid.
In other news, on a completly unrelated topic, my friend Bom Tredy wants to know how do you make a death look like SIDS?
Marsh
Dis Respect Brady-Moynahan
...it is at this moment that I realize that we've all be duped. They got to kill a whole day with 1.5 posts. We got played.
Parting Gift Moynahan
Can be shortened so the kid is known as PG.
Adam Vinatieri Brady - give a little credit to the man who won Tom Terrific's Super Bowls for him.
I call the big one "Bitey."
Hercules Rockefeller Brady
urhines kendall icy eight special k moynahan
http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440
Wash U. S. Brady
DEF CONSTRUDA BRADY
This works so great because in addition to having the whole awesome middle name, his nickname will totally be DEF-CON.
I can't wait to have kids. Speaking of naming kids, does anybody want to look up the Louis CK bit about naming his kids and link it?
Milhouse Brady.
The poor kid's going to grow up to be repressed, gay and a repressed gay.
@Jay
Well that's why Milhouse takes Represitol.
Felch
+1 to Bryan for a strong late entry.
My next entry- Thor Moynahan, cause he will bring the fucking thunder, bitches.
Cumslinger Xpress Brady
"Son, I named you Drew because -- YOU'LL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS YOUR DADDY.
"Gotta run -- me and Gisele are heading back to my place; that Vietnamese spin-fuck chair isn't going to use itself.
"Oh, and tell Mommy I left her check in the kitchen. And, uh, 'hello' too, I guess."
+1 Chamomiles, +1
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do! Now your gonna die!!"
moon unit brady
Abs McLovin Moynahan
Pootie Tang Brady
Overrated Fag Brady Jr.
Yes, I am childish.
Randall William Belichick Brady Moynahan III
Lawyer Le Kevin Donte' Moynahan
Derek Lachey Moynahan
fuck lion brady
President Dwayne Hector Mountain Dew Elizondo Camacho Brady-Moynahan. Of course.
Marty DiBrady if he's got any sense.
Plaxico D'Brickashaw Laveranues Moynahan.
Accidental Brady
Oedipus Rex Grossman Brady.
Marcia Brady
Because Brady is, if nothing else, an avid blog commenter...
First PWN3D!!!1! Fixed Brady
(or +1 for short.)
Oh, and I know I'm doing this out of turn, and I do apologize, but I want to add another one right now....
I-am-a-loser-who-nobody-likes-with-a-picture-of-a-gay-quarterback-in-my-avatar Brady.
Yes, catchy, I know.
"Douche McCalister"
lets make fetus fajitas outa this baby!
name the kid Bacon Brady...maybe then i might like the tom brady.....not really
Harry Potter Brady
the anti-christ
Koolaid Construda McBrady
Brady Brady Brady
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